we had the "problem" (I thought it was one, my husband didn't
) in the beginning when our daughter was born. My husband didn't consider his language to be very important, and given that his homecountry has had its share of problems he didn't want to pull our daughter into all that.
For me the bilingual thing was pretty simple. Having grown up in a bilingual household myself, it actually seems very normal to be speaking a different language to my child than the people around us. I'd say my daughter was confronted to a lot of Swiss German to start with, and when she began to really understand things and talk (only single words at this stage), we noticed that she really did pick up German. I think that's where my husband noticed that he is the only one who could teach her, and if it worked with my language then maybe it would with his, too
. Anyway, all this rambling to say that maybe it helps to join other families with similar constallations, where the second/third language is being spoken with kids. Seeing that it works with others might be a motivation, as well as a way to help kids see the new language as "normal", and see their parent in his/her language. I have the theory that people behave differently according to what language they are speaking, and I've felt that kids pick up on that.
With us the change was 2-3 months ago- and now my daughter refuses to talk to my husband on the phone when he speaks French with her. I think it's fantastic, even if she doesn't speak Kinyarwanda she'll have a relationship to that language.