Let go and let God?

[annanicole]

At what point can moms do this? I had a lot of control/panicky issues with my first, I HAD to hear the heartbeat to know the baby is ok and I HAD to have an US at 18 weeks to check for encephaly.

With this baby it's completely different. I know the baby is ok, everytime I get sick LOL I get more reassurance, and I know that whatever happens is in God's hands.

So whether you're a believer or not. When can you come to peace that all is ok with the baby? When can you trust your body that the baby is well protected and well growing inside you. What do you need to have that confidence?

[Phoenix~Mama]

Excellent thread. I have to say I'm doing a crap job of givining it to God on some days. I promised myself I'd chill and put it all in His hands, just like the conception and that turned out okay. hehe

But I don't think I can really answer this because of this being my first time ever pregnant, and I think that makes it normal to be nervous...

I'm doing my best to enjoy it all and not worry and trust that evrything will be fine. I used positive visulization to get pregnant, and am again saying I will have a healthy baby in January.

I trust God and the path I am on...

[hippiemum21580]

Well, I have four living children and four babes I miscarried, all in the course of 7 years. I figure I have two options, I can either go through this entire pregnancy paranoid and demanding proof every step of teh way taht all is and will remain okay withmy unborn babe.....or I can trust that whatever happens has a perfect place in the weaving of my life and will make me who I am. When I lost my second child I struggled a long timewith not knowing WHY. Why abusive or crack addicted women popped out babies without a hitch and MY healthy body had betrayed me. I was bitter for a long time and then i got pregnant again. My midwife informed me at my first appt. that the liklihood of a repeat molar pregnancy (partial) was very high. I went home that day and cried and was TERRIFIED. But then I moved to another state and before I had a chance to get another midwife I stumbled upon Laura Shanleys site (freebirth.com) then I found Mothering.com, then I met a lady who had birthed her last baby in her bathtub while her children watched. I have gained faith in myslef, my children and my body the more I see the proof in teh pudding, so to speak. Yes, I have miscarried 3 other babes since then.....but i also have birthed 3 healthy perfect vibrant boys. If I allowed my past to dampen my hope they might not be here now. My goal with thsi babe is simply to fous on my joy and love for him/her. That way at least I have lovely memories of my pregnancy if I do lose him/her.

[Phoenix~Mama]

Tonia, that is so sad and so beautiful... there are tears in my eyes. You are certainly an inspiration, Mama. I am sorry for your losses. Your positive outlook and love is truly touching. Thank you for sharing.

[Prism]

Tonia, that was so beautifully written; thanks for revealing such an intimate history of your births.

[RunnerMommy]

Annanicole I was just having the same thoughts- with my first I was sooo paranoid. Every cramp or twinge made me nervous that something was wrong with my baby. But this time I feel a bit freer. I JUST got a BFP this morning and I'm so excited, but still know that it is super early and that things might happen- it's is just how life is. Of course I still have moments of nervousness, like 'why am I not feeling symptoms', 'what if nursing messes up my hormones', etc. but it's easier to get myself out of the nervousness cycle than it was the first time.

Tonia - you are such an inspiration for having a good attitude despite losses, and I'm going to follow your advice of loving this baby NOW because even if I'm not pregant in a couple days or weeks I am right NOW and that is so wonderful.

[Moonprysm]

Originally Posted by hippiemum21580

Well, I have four living children and four babes I miscarried, all in the course of 7 years. I figure I have two options, I can either go through this entire pregnancy paranoid and demanding proof every step of teh way taht all is and will remain okay withmy unborn babe.....or I can trust that whatever happens has a perfect place in the weaving of my life and will make me who I am. When I lost my second child I struggled a long timewith not knowing WHY. Why abusive or crack addicted women popped out babies without a hitch and MY healthy body had betrayed me. I was bitter for a long time and then i got pregnant again. My midwife informed me at my first appt. that the liklihood of a repeat molar pregnancy (partial) was very high. I went home that day and cried and was TERRIFIED. But then I moved to another state and before I had a chance to get another midwife I stumbled upon Laura Shanleys site (freebirth.com) then I found Mothering.com, then I met a lady who had birthed her last baby in her bathtub while her children watched. I have gained faith in myslef, my children and my body the more I see the proof in teh pudding, so to speak. Yes, I have miscarried 3 other babes since then.....but i also have birthed 3 healthy perfect vibrant boys. If I allowed my past to dampen my hope they might not be here now. My goal with thsi babe is simply to fous on my joy and love for him/her. That way at least I have lovely memories of my pregnancy if I do lose him/her.

Exactly. I have 4 children in Heaven and only one here in my lap. (And another one in my belly, lol). Actually, today was the first time that I've really allowed myself to be excited, b/c I got my positive blood test. My babies will be here when they're supposed to be, and if they're only here for a short while, then that's what they were meant to be here for. I learned more with my last pregnancy (which ended at 8 weeks) than I did in all of DS' pregnancy. That's what she was there for, to prepare me for this little one.

[KatyLinda]

Thanks for sharing your stories ladies! I too have had my fair share of losses (4 losses, one child, and currently pregnant) so I am a bit fearful. I go back and forth between being SO excited and being terrified. I do need to start to relax a bit and trust that what is meant to be will be. Thanks!

[annanicole]

I'm so happy this opened everyone up. Hippiemum, I'm going to send you honey too, to make this one stick.

[quietserena]

You know, no matter what I do, it is really up to God. So, all I can do is pray and breathe and know that the Creator has a plan.

[xakana]

Originally Posted by annanicole

When can you come to peace that all is ok with the baby? When can you trust your body that the baby is well protected and well growing inside you. What do you need to have that confidence?

For me, that will be when the baby is lying in my arms. After loss, I can never trust a moment of pregnancy again. But once the kicking starts, that does a LOT to help reassure me.

[mamatowill]

I am trying to relax but I am finding it hard and I have had two previous losses. I want this little one to have a relatively peaceful existence for however long it is in my womb so I am working extra hard not to stress.

[Cutie Patootie]

I have 6 children with God and I have 2 children here on earth with me.
My last pregnancy was a m/c. It was a hard hit and I wasn't prepared after two term pregnancies.
This time around I vowed not to take more than one pregnancy test. I'm not going to look at the line and make myself crazy trying to judge if it's pink enough, if it's too light, if it's getting darker. I purposely bought one of those digital tests that say "pregnant" or "not pregnant". I have 2 left in the cabinet over there...I try not to think about it.
I keep reassuring myself that God will never give me more than I can handle. I hope he knows I don't "feel" like I could handle another m/c right now.
If it happens again, there's nothing more I can do but keep going and tell myself there is a good and perfect reason for it. For now, I am going to keep my mind on other things and enjoy being pregnant instead of spending this special time in obsessive worry. My dh said, that that scripture in the Bible that says "woman will have pain in childbirth...", or something like that, he thinks it refers more to this time than to actually birthing the baby. I tend to agree. This is a wonderful, special, mysterious and painfully insane time.