Playdates ..............for dads! lol

[ann_of_loxley]

Is it just me or does anyone else feel they have to set up their dh/dp with 'friends'.

My husband has one close friend he has had for years. This is great! Wether or not you have children, as the 'father', I have found his friends dont change regardless. For me though...A lot of the friends I had 'pre-baby' I am no longer friends with (not my choosing, you know how it is)...So I have had to go out and make new friends. All of whom happen to be mothers themselves! Sometimes I feel, even though very alone in the way I choose to parent, that I have a better 'social life' than my own DH who just goes to work everyday!...

DH has work of course. But they arnt really friends. ....So last night I had my friends husband come over to help with the last bit of the playhouse we had bought my son - it was so nice of him to help! But it also felt like a playdate! In fact...whenever I introduce my husband to my friends husbands/partners ...it feels like a playdate! When its all done and they are gone - I find myself saying 'So what did you think so ____'...'You think you two could be friends?'.... lmao!!!

Anyone else find its this way too? hehe

[MommaShark]

Yes - but he never lives anyone I try to set him up with - he's contrary that way - he makes his own friends in his own time - (like years).
We just moved last year and I have a handful of great momma friends. He NEVER goes out with the boys....... I guess I don't have to drag him home from the bars though! Maybe I shouldn't complain that he'd rather be with us.

[flapjack]

Oh yes

[mammal_mama]

I used to feel guilty that I often have quite a rich social life, getting together with other moms and kids during the day, whereas dh just works and comes home (well, sometimes my social life's rich, sometimes not so much).

But I've accepted that he doesn't have the same social needs that I do. For instance, we could do more stuff with other families in the evenings or on weekends -- and occasionally we do, but dh generally prefers to spend his free-time with just us.

Rather than getting together with another family, he'd actually rather take a few free hours to go to the movies -- either with our oldest, or on his own when the movie's not something she'll like (I don't do movie theaters just yet, since my toddler's not quite at the sitting-through stage!).

So now I feel committed to helping dh meet his needs, rather than trying to give him whatever I think I need, .

[laohaire]

I would never set up DH with a friend unless he asked me to.

OTOH, I've asked DH for help in making friends (I have none). He's obliged and is sniffing around some guy with a daughter same age as ours, who he often runs into at the park. He figures he'll see if his wife is nice, then voila, we can all have friends. Thanks, hubby!

[delightedbutterfly]

Yep DH actually complains that his two best friends moved away. Neither of them are in the same stage he is in either and one of the two more so than the other

He still enjoys getting together with them (when they are in town) but does notice a difference.

He's the more social one of us two but never "likes" any of the husbands of the moms I hang out with. And there's a couple I think he would like that we just haven't gotten around to it.

I keep telling him to head down to our local park a block away and scout out friends... instead he goes to the park in our backyard.

I don't push him but I do expect him to stop complaining if he isn't going to fix it