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Need advice on c/s ~ not happy :( - Page 2

post #21 of 62
No words of wisdom here; I just couldn't read and not send some supportive vibes your way. I like what the PP said - that's probably the approach I would take.
post #22 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by worcma View Post
*sigh* Didn't move ...36 wks and not looking good at all.

The peri was really nice and explained that in the US, he's European, between the docs and the lawyers he'd be shocked if I found anyone to let me try a vaginal birth given where the placenta was right now (right up to the edge) & the twins. I told him it was probably even more unlikely given I am a lawyer, and we all laughed about that one. He gave me a 38 wk u/s appt just to get a final look, which I really appreciated.

My MWs will let me go to 38-39 wks because I'm showing no signs at all of labor which is great. I'm totally depressed about it though. I have tons of help but I don't *want* it -- I hate having to depend on other people.

I'm sorry, mama! That is great they aren't pressuring you to induce, though.
post #23 of 62
post #24 of 62
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Intertwined View Post
Thanks all I needed that. On the car ride home, DH said something like we should feel lucky b/c our good friends can't even get pg, and I almost made him start walking.

And I half scheduled the 38 wk u/s just to be sure, but half to ensure they'd let me go to 38 wks & not start the induction pressure (b/c they are really good-sized now at ~6 1/4 lbs each). I saw the head peri and I figured if he was fine letting me go to 38wks 3 days, I'd have a pretty good argument that I should go that far.
post #25 of 62
I am so sorry for the news.

I really like the comments about visualization & conversation with the babies and your body between now and then, though. Brings a glimmer of hope in.

And not pushing a precipitous-feeling early c-section is good news, too.

I'm really sorry for the disappointment, though.
post #26 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by worcma View Post
Thanks all I needed that. On the car ride home, DH said something like we should feel lucky b/c our good friends can't even get pg, and I almost made him start walking.

And I half scheduled the 38 wk u/s just to be sure, but half to ensure they'd let me go to 38 wks & not start the induction pressure (b/c they are really good-sized now at ~6 1/4 lbs each). I saw the head peri and I figured if he was fine letting me go to 38wks 3 days, I'd have a pretty good argument that I should go that far.

I had 3 c-sections, none of them were planned but the 3rd I did have a weeks notice and it was actually a very pleasant birth. Have your DH take pictures as the babies are being born. I didn't get that with the first two and the pictures of my third birth with her half in and half out of me are so precious to me. Ask them NOT to give you any medication that will make you drowsy. After the baby is out they usually give you some type of medicine that makes you really drowsy. With my second it knocked me clear out. With my third I made a c-section birth plan and specifically said not to give me anything like that. Ask them to give you the epidural/spinal BEFORE the catheter. The insertion of the catheter HURTS! I personally preferred the epidural to the spinal - the spinal made me horribly nauseous and dry heaving during my whole first birth. I can't remember everything now, it's been a few years but of course I said no artificial nipples of any kind. I didn't have a problem with that with the hospital I was in, even when #3 had low blood sugar they brought her to me nurse in the recovery room and when that didn't work they cup fed her some sugar water. They will probably have to take the babies from the OR before you are done being stitched out but I don't see why that is a huge deal as long as your DH goes with them to make sure they aren't doing anything you don't want them to. My first two babies were born sick so I didn't get to hold them (#1 for 4 days and #2 for 2 hours) but #3 was given to me while I was laying on the table being stitched up and I nursed her in the recovery room. Oh I don't know about the rules where you are but in the hospitals I delivered in I HAD to have someone stay in the hospital room the whole night with me if I wanted to room in. It was very important to me to room in (well not with #1 he was airlifted to a different hospital) so with #2 my sister in law stayed with me and with #3 my husband was able to as #1 and #2 stayed with my mom. They will try and keep you there 3-4 days most likely but with #2 and #3 I signed myself out after 40-48 hours. OH almost forgot get homeopathic arnica granules and take them like clockwork. I did that with #3 and the recovery time was 6000% better! Good luck.
post #27 of 62
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post #28 of 62
I agree that she needs some time (and support) to be able to grieve her loss. Of course logically she realizes that it could be much worse, but emotionally it's a different story.

But as far as plans if it DOES come down to a c-section, I agree with having pictures taken. And I would FIGHT (as I did with my second set) to keep my husband with me at all times and keep the babies with me so I could bond with them. Because my husband fought for this for me (I had a general anesthetic), I was able to nurse the babies when they were only about 35 minutes old. If they had whisked them away to the nursery, I would bet I wouldn't have seen them for at least 2 hours. They even tried the whole "We're going to take them to get them cleaned up and weighed." My DH said, "Can't you do that here?" When they said they didn't have scales in there, DH said, "Then it can wait. I want my wifey to be able to see the babies when she wakes up." I was SO glad I had a DH who would advocate for me. He's amazing!

So sorry about the novel, I just think you should have plans made should it indeed become a c-section. Then catalog those plans in the back of your brain and don't think about them again unless you need them. I say stay positive and just know that these babies are going to be born vaginally. It sounds like your team would be pretty supportive if the placenta moves.
post #29 of 62
I deleted my previous comments, I would appreciate if you would delete the quote so as to not to upset the OP.
post #30 of 62
Thread Starter 
I agree that she needs some time (and support) to be able to grieve her loss. Of course logically she realizes that it could be much worse, but emotionally it's a different story.

I'm not trying to be insensitive but to me it was sort of akin to someone saying "the most important thing is a healthy baby" as consolation when you've had a bad birth experience. There will always be someone, somewhere worse off than you, but that doesn't make your disappointment any less real and I don't know how not to take that as a put down of my feelings.

My hospital doesn't seperate moms and babies unless it's needed or mom doesn't care. It does make a difference to me. I don't want anyone but DH there, and I'd rather not be left alone in the OR or recovery room for them to get a bath, or something else that's not really necessary at that time. Just worsens the process, for me. Obviously, unless some treatment is needed.

post #31 of 62
Worcma,
You have every right to be grieving. Just because someone else out there is worse off than you, doesn't mean your pain isn't real. I am so sorry your birth plans don't seem to be turning out how you had dreamed. I can totally see my dh making a comment like that. Men (and apparently some women) just don't get how important a birth experience is to a woman.
post #32 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by worcma View Post
Thanks all I needed that. On the car ride home, DH said something like we should feel lucky b/c our good friends can't even get pg, and I almost made him start walking.
I would have reacted the SAME, EXACT WAY! Husbands can be so funny sometimes, how they JUST. DON'T. GET. IT. Maybe it's that they don't have to worry about giving birth themselves, or don't get the way that birth can so interwoven into how we perceive ourselves as women, but I completely understand you wanting to avoid an unnecessary Cesarean if it is at all possible. Of course, if you need one, then you will find a way to come to a place of peace with that, knowing that it was necessary-- we all want our babies safe. But between now and then, all your focus needs to be exactly where it is now-- preparing for two babies, evaluating the situation, and discerning the right course of action.

Quote:
I'm not trying to be insensitive but to me it was sort of akin to someone saying "the most important thing is a healthy baby" as consolation when you've had a bad birth experience. There will always be someone, somewhere worse off than you, but that doesn't make your disappointment any less real and I don't know how not to take that as a put down of my feelings.
I agree completely-- but I think two sets of twins was referring to other comments made by someone else. For ANYONE to suggest that your desire to avoid an unnecessary Cesarean, or difficulty coming to grips with a necessary one, is even up for their judgment is insensitive, rude, and dismissive. Right up there with the "most important thing is a healthy baby" comment-- it just assumes that wasn't your main priority in the first place, and disregards the importance of many other factors that themselves have far-reaching consequences both in the short and long run. IMO, the most important thing, other than having a healthy baby, is having a mama at peace, recovering well, and physically and emotionally healthy enough to take care of that precious new little one. (or two, as the case may be )

I'll keep visualizing that movement, hoping things will work out for a vaginal birth,and praying with you for a peace about the situation, no matter how it turns out.
post #33 of 62

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post #34 of 62
worcma, I'm so sorry to hear this last struggle.

I wanted to say thank you for sharing here and also ask what are the most worrying bits of a c section for you?

For me, I'm sooo worried about not being able to bond with the babies after a section, phasing out and not being able to cope with them because of my feelings around the surgery. (I hope that isn't the worst thing I can add into the conversation at this point in time). I'm also ridiculously needle phobic, ( and : catheter. wail) so I'm totally there with you in terms of feeling *how* am I going to cope with this sort of birth.

I love the idea of being able to play my own choice of music to create a more 'on my ground' environment. I also love the talking to babies about what is going on and trying to work through my emotions with them whilst I *do* feel well connected iykwim. I frequently talk to them when I've been feeling mega stressed even now, just to say sorry, everything is okay really, I'm still welcoming them to us etc...

And I'd also cling to hope and positive visualisations until the last hour!!!
post #35 of 62
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by shukr View Post
worcma, I'm so sorry to hear this last struggle.

I wanted to say thank you for sharing here and also ask what are the most worrying bits of a c section for you?
I'm most worried about bf'ing and feeling well enough to do that. I had a very hard time with my first and ended up pumping so I'm terrified that this will be one more thing working against me. So I want to go home ASAP in part b/c I don't want them fussing about supplementating and the like (something that happened the first time). I feel like everyone's doubting it will happen in the 1st place w/ twins and this is one more thing working against me.

Bonding is also a concern. I have tons of wonderful help and will have the obvious immediate nursing help but I want to be able to do it. That I guess I'll have to get over.
post #36 of 62
I hope everything goes okay for you. I will pray that you don't need a CS...that everything will work out in your favor.
post #37 of 62
My boys were a "planned emergency" c/s at 36.5 weeks. I was also hoping for a vaginal birth and they were small enough that they still had time to turn from their transverse positions. It was not to be. On Thursday the doc at the high risk clinic told us that the size difference between them was too big and Raphi (my baby A) had stopped growing while Danny was still growing nicely. (There was only one placenta) and that they had to come out on Sunday. It was a very hard weekend for me and I really mourned the loss of my vaginal birth. I resented the little guys for a while because they just wouldn't do what I wanted. I had a really hard time with letting go and accepting the c/s. I wanted to wait until 38 weeks to be re-evaluated, but one of my babies was in distress and at that point bringing two healthy babies home became *my* goal. It is different for everyone.

In terms of the section itself. The worst part for me was the spinal. My DH was not allowed into the operating theatre until they were actually ready to start cutting, so they had two nurses and the student doctor hold me down to give me the anesthetic for the spinal. DH said he could hear me crying from outside but was powerless to do anything. I also threw up from the anestetic on the operating table and was shivering (my body's reaction). On the plus side it turns out that the anestisiologist was a college roomate of my sister in law, so we chatted the whole time about this and that while they prepped me. I agree with pp, catheter AFTER the spinal. (and be careful, it gave me urinary tract infection). I made a mistake in my weight so I wasn't completely numb which was the most incredible feeling for me. I didn't feel any pain, but I did feel everything they did. I felt them cutting, I felt them taking Raphi out and then fishing for Danny who had decided to hid under my ribs. My DH had the camera in his pocket and got great pictures of the kids being born. We didn't think to video it, but I don't think that he would have been able to hold the camera that steady. I have two great pictures of them each being born that are really precious to me. Raphi was weighed, wrapped and evaluated by the pediatritian in the room and then taken to the NICU because he was so small. My DH insisted that they bring me the baby before he went up to kiss him and say hello (I was tied down because of my shivering). Then Danny was brought to me before he went up to the nursery. DH went with them and my mom came to be with me in recovery. I nursed Danny right when I got up to my room about 2 hours after surgery and nursed him. He stayed with me almost the entire time I was in the hospital.

The hardest part for me was standing up that first time. A nurse and DH had to litterally pull me to my feet and the shower had a little chair so I sat and showered. (I think DH helped, that part is a little fuzzy) but my need to see and feed my baby was greater than my need to faint. Then he wheeled me into the NICU where I nursed Raphi. (This was about 6 hours after surgery.) Saying goodbye to him was hard, but I was tired and so were they. I put Danny in the nursery with a "no formula" sticker and they brought him to me every three hours to nurse.

Due to circumstance I was in the hospital for almost a week. Which was great for me. I bonded with my babies and spent all day in the NICU. Because siblings of NICU babies are allowed in, I got some real bonding time with both of them together.

In terms of the surgery itself, it took at least three days before I could walk on my own (DH had a great time playing wheelchair chaufeur) and the incision is healing well after almost a year. The main advice I can give you is to make sure that the area of the incision stays clean and dry - I got an infection at the incision site because nobody told me I could wet the staples.

I know this sucks, and you don't want to be cut open. But you also have to think of your health. Those babies are going to need you to be strong and healthy to be able to take care of them. Hang in there, I'm sure that you will do what is right for you and those babies.
post #38 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by worcma View Post
I'm most worried about bf'ing and feeling well enough to do that. I had a very hard time with my first and ended up pumping so I'm terrified that this will be one more thing working against me. So I want to go home ASAP in part b/c I don't want them fussing about supplementating and the like (something that happened the first time). I feel like everyone's doubting it will happen in the 1st place w/ twins and this is one more thing working against me.

Bonding is also a concern. I have tons of wonderful help and will have the obvious immediate nursing help but I want to be able to do it. That I guess I'll have to get over.
I understand this 100%. I had an unscheduled c-s after labor with baby1 and due to a variety of issues (refusal to latch, severe jaundice/lethargy, low blood sugar, very poor BFing advice and insistance that he be supplemented, nipple confusion....) ended up pumping for a year for him as he would never latch, or more precisely, never stay latched for more than a few seconds. I know that some of that related back to the c-section, but I don't think I can blame it all on the surgery. I still carry guilt about this.

I was TERRIFIED the same would happen with Baby2, but VBAC was not an option for me. I was thrilled to find that Baby2 was a veritable Hoover and despite being seperated for almost 2w with complications (not directly related to the c-section, but rather the birth), he had no troubles BFing at all for 2.5yrs.

I just had #3 via a scheduled c-section and she's nursing like a champ. Of course I was still nervous (anyone who has pumped for any length of time would be - I'm sure you know this), but she's done great.

In neither #2 nor #3 do I think the post-surgery pain meds affected their nursing at all and they had no troubles latching on right away and gaining weight quickly.

Since this isn't your first, your milk will likely come in quicker and in greater quantity which will help a lot, too, but moreover you are an experienced mom, so there is an intangible something that you have that will help you - a mix of knowledge, experience, and confidence. It will take you a long way and I have faith that you and your babies will do great when it comes to BFing.


ETA - Oh, and with a c-section you lose more iron, so be sure to take a iron supplement after birth - if you are low, it will definitely affect your supply.
post #39 of 62
Survival tips for a CS! I had an expected but unscheduled CS because A was breech. I went into labour (as my OB & I had agreed), then had a section. My babies never left me, never saw the inside of the nursery, & we were home by 36 hours breastfeeding successfully. So here are my suggestions for getting through a CS if you wind up having one.
1. Tell your OB beforehand that one of your big concerns is the babies being taken to the nursery. That was the policy in the hospital I was at, but because I had raised it beforehand, the pediatrician at the CS was aware (& sympathetic), so wrote an order that the babies were not to be separated from me. Totally pissed off some of the maternity nurses, but oh well.
2. Tell all your caregivers before the birth that you want to leave early. My babies' GP knew this, & so had their new baby exam & discharge orders written before they were 12 hours old. I stayed a 2nd night in hospital because I (mistakenly) thought that I would get BFing help. I should just have gone home.
3. Get up walking ASAP post-CS. We had our babies out for their first walk (45 mins) when I was less than 2 days post-CS, & we walked every day after that.
4. Painkillers are your friend, but avoid narcotics (codeine) unless you really need them. Don't wait until you are in pain to take the painkillers. Since everything is a blur those first few days, what I did was put out my maximum daily dose of pills (acetaminophen 500 mg tablets: 8, ibuprofen 200 mg tablets: 6) & then know that that was what I should take from one midnight to the next. If I got some sleep, the first thing that I did after waking up was take some painkillers. Then if it seemed like a while since I had had a pill, I took some. Makes me sound like a druggie I know! But both those meds are okay with BFing, & it kept me active, comfortable & functional. I did that for about 10 days.
5. If you need codeine painkillers, take Metamucil or another psyllium-based laxative as well. You don't need to be constipated on top of everything else.

Good luck!
post #40 of 62
Thread Starter 
Thanks again for all the support and great ideas. You have no idea how much I appreciate it. C/S's are so routine for most that I'm not feeling very supported and I really, really appreciate it.

Em -- thanks so much for your post. It helped a lot
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