help my kids don't want to go to school - Page 2

[phathui5]

What part of MD are you in?

[sarah_bella1050]

I would just have them call in sick. If dh is worried he can say they have chicken pox. By sending some kids and not the others it is showing a huge favoritism to them (even though that is not what you mean to do), this could cause big emotional and behavoural problems. I would definitely not have them go back. There is nothing wrong with homeschooling your children and your dh needs to know that. It's not something you're going to get in trouble for. As long as you are doing something by fall, nobody is going to care.

[lilsparrow]

Originally Posted by Dr.Worm

If your kids hate school that much it sure sounds like homeschooling is the way to go..who are the people that your husband is afraid are going to be mad? You're the parents and people are always going to not like something you are doing. You know your children better than anyone else.

I'm thinking it's probably his parents. Last time they disapproved, but let us be. This time, I am hoping he [B]won't care[B] that they don't approve.

When we homeschooled before, and we were very relaxed homeschoolers. Quite a differance from all the busy work and homework shoved down their throats at school. I think they will have much better attitudes this upcoming school year. Me too. I am going to be even MORE relaxed.

You should see all the different tactics they use to try to convince me to let them stay home. My dd8 is trying to show what a help she is going to be, by cleaning everything in sight. And she hops on the computor and starts going to some of her old homeschooling spots and saying, "see mom, I'm doing math" and then going on and on about how fast and how much she learns when she is at home, and how while she is at school she doesn't learn anything.

She is really stressing over the benchmark tests next week. I am hoping to have dh convinced before then, or she may have to be ... um ... sick.

[lilsparrow]

Originally Posted by phathui5

What part of MD are you in?

Westminster, Carroll County.

[lilsparrow]

Originally Posted by sarah_bella1050

I would just have them call in sick. If dh is worried he can say they have chicken pox. By sending some kids and not the others it is showing a huge favoritism to them (even though that is not what you mean to do), this could cause big emotional and behavoural problems. I would definitely not have them go back. There is nothing wrong with homeschooling your children and your dh needs to know that. It's not something you're going to get in trouble for. As long as you are doing something by fall, nobody is going to care.

I have been thinking about that, and I am a little worried, that they will perceive this as favoritism. I have talked to my d8 and asked her to try to hold out for a few more days. I've explained to her that it is important to have daddy's agreement on this, and I have been resorting to *guilty make myself feel better* indulgences for them. I've been doing my d8's homework FOR her. I know, I know. And I let them both stay home Monday and Tuesday. It is getting harder and harder to send them, BUT I do see signs of my husband relenting.

Although we haven't had a chance to talk, I have been throwing little tidbits of information here and there. Results from recent studies. Reminding him of his frustrations with the school system, and out loud rememberances of some of the positives of homeschooling. The kids have been piping in here and there too.

He has gentled and I can see his heart turning towards them already. I mentioned to him that he was going to have a battle on his hands next year, because all three of the kids have their mind set on homeschooling. He just kind of shook his head and looked defeated. I started rubbing his shoulders and he mumbled something about us "being the death of him."

...sniff .... sniff ... what is that I smell?

I believe it's victory.

[dharmamama]

Originally Posted by kathymuggle

If Dh is determined that the kids go to school for the remainder of the school year, then he must have some of the resposibility for getting them there, and dealing with the fall out. I know this is hard for many families due to work issues, but there you have it. I think it is unfair of your DH to have a plan that no one but him agrees to and is causing such strife - but expect you to fully implement it.

I completely agree. We had a similar issue with eating issues with my (13 year old, HIV+) daughter. She was refusing to eat well and it was causing a lot of strife between me and her. I finally told dh that I was going to remove myself from the situation and tell dd that, short of answering nutrition-related questions, I was no longer going to involve myself in what she ate.

Dh stridently disagreed with that approach and felt that, for dd's health, she must be made to eat well.

I told him that if he felt that way, he could take his turn now being the one to force her to eat.

Funny, he let the matter drop!

Somewhat unrelated, I know, but the point is the same: if dh insists on laying down the law, then he is responsible for enforcing it.

dm

[lilsparrow]

Originally Posted by dharmamama

I completely agree. We had a similar issue with eating issues with my (13 year old, HIV+) daughter. She was refusing to eat well and it was causing a lot of strife between me and her. I finally told dh that I was going to remove myself from the situation and tell dd that, short of answering nutrition-related questions, I was no longer going to involve myself in what she ate.

Dh stridently disagreed with that approach and felt that, for dd's health, she must be made to eat well.

I told him that if he felt that way, he could take his turn now being the one to force her to eat.

Funny, he let the matter drop!

Somewhat unrelated, I know, but the point is the same: if dh insists on laying down the law, then he is responsible for enforcing it.

dm

I don't think it's unrelated. I do see your point. I believe strongly that the one bearing the consequences should make the decision. It's only fair, and I am BIG on fairness.

I just wanted to say that I know how hard it can be to have a child with a serious illness. One of my biggest sources of grief with my son's dx, was the role of Diabetic Police mom that I felt had been forced upon me. I am sorry to hear about your daughter and I hope she comes to a place soon, which will enable her to take a more proactive role in her health. I hope this for my own son as well. Hugs to you, momma.

[lilsparrow]

update

Well, he has somewhat agreed to homeschool them next year. But I am still holding my breath. I want to take them out on Monday. I need to back off a little and give him time to think. He chews on things slowly. It is hard though, because I am impatient and don't see how he can't see immediately, that this is the right choice for our family.

[lilsparrow]

Woooooo Hoooooooooo

:

DH has agreed to let me homeschool the kids the rest of this school year!!

I am so happy and grateful.

[kathymuggle]

Nice

Do something really cool next week to celebrate !

Sleep in when you went.

Spend days in your jammies

And play outside during the day.

Have fun!

Kathy

[leighann79]

Originally Posted by kathymuggle

Nice

Do something really cool next week to celebrate !

Sleep in when you went.

Spend days in your jammies

And play outside during the day.

Have fun!

Kathy

This is what I had the most fun with when I pulled my oldest. Loved the freedom of taking the kids places (even to the store or a walk to get the mail) during the day.

Yea for you!

[Milakais]

Hooray! Congrats!

[lilsparrow]

Originally Posted by kathymuggle

Nice

Do something really cool next week to celebrate !

Sleep in when you went.

Spend days in your jammies

And play outside during the day.

Have fun!

Kathy

All of those sound soooo wonderful!

Thank you everyone for your congratulations.

My daughters are flipping out! We are all under the strictest laws of secrecy from the inlaws, though. Shhhhhhhhh.


Woo Hoo ... FREEEEEEEEEEEEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!

[phathui5]

Congratulations! (I came back to check for an update)

[mommy68]

Originally Posted by lilsparrow

Yep ... counting the days.

only 4 more days! If they weren't having a class picnic on the last day of school I'd take em out before then.

[leighann79]

I can understand that. My DD only went the last few days of the semester because they were having a party and watching a movie the last day.