Will he show up? - Page 2

[StephandOwen]

Originally Posted by JustVanessa

I wanna know if he showed up!

I'll try to update before we get back Monday night!

Originally Posted by mama41

Does Matt suddenly have a girlfriend? If so, I vote yes. But don't get used to it.

I don't know, but that's what I told Jason. My guess is a new girl. That's what happened the last time he was suddenly interested, only to become un-interested once girl left.

[mmace]

Does Matt suddenly have a girlfriend? If so, I vote yes. But don't get used to it.

Exactly my thought! My X had little to nothing to do with my kids for four years - then he got a girlfriend, she got pregnant, and now he is trying to play the role of Super-Dad!

[IdahoMom]

Or maybe his mom told him he had to visit.

[PoppyMama]

It seems he didn't try that hard when he was dating the woman with all the kids and his mother hasn't been able to make him involved so far.....so I think that he had one of those moments when you feel like you lost or forgot something. You know...that panicky feeling like something is missing and he realized he lost his son. Who knows how long it will last.

[StephandOwen]

Well, he did see Owen saturday morning, as planned. He stayed for about an hour and then said he had to get home to his puppy Which he compared to Owen. Because, ya know, a puppy is *exactly* like a child. No difference at all. He and his mom saw Owen saturday morning for about an hour and then this morning (sunday) he saw Owen again for about an hour with his sister and her 2 kids. He didn't do horrible with Owen, but he left a lot to be desired. He was definately trying to be the "fun" one and, in the process, almost kicked Owen in the head 3 or 4 times because he (ex) insisted on sliding down the twisty slide RIGHT after Owen, not knowing that he didn't just jump off the slide and run to the side after he went down. More than once. And then there was knocking Owen on his butt because he thought it would be fun to slide down one of the rails, where Owen was standing at the bottom. Or when he scared the crap out of Owen because he said the squirrel Owen was watching was going to jump on his face Or when he decided to chase Owen down trying to give him a hug (as Owen was screaming "no") and, when Owen ran towards to road trying to get away from him he (ex) just STOPPED and let Owen keep running towards the road. I had to bolt from halfway across the park to catch him before he got to the road. And then ex decided he was still going to pick Owen up and force a hug. At which time Owen kicked him in the.... yeah. And I silently was hyperventilating from laughter.

As for why he suddenly wanted to see Owen.... still have no clue. I think it was one of those guilt things. He said "I just wanted to make sure Owen was doing okay. I never had any doubts that you were taking care of him, I just needed to see with my own eyes". Soooo.... guilt? I don't know.

Apparently he can't drive anymore though, as he said he had to have his mom and sister drive him around. So I have no clue if he lost his license (he hinted that way) and, if he did, why? DUI? Legally blind? I have no idea. (Remember- he has an eye disease that'll eventually cause him to go blind. A couple years ago he was restricted to no driving at night. I have no idea if his eyes have gotten so bad he can't drive period now or not).

Anyway, when they left today he thanked me for bringing Owen to see him. He never asked when we were coming back next. He never asked when he could see Owen next. No mention of seeing Owen again at all. So, we'll see what happens.

[PoppyMama]

You've done your bit and now you can go back home and get on with your little family. I don't know why some parents turn out like that...just one of those life things.

[Jster]

Huh. Well, I'm glad that he showed, that he did interact with Owen (even if a bit incompetently...he was trying.) Who knows when he'll show up again? How did Owen feel about it, did he respond to Matt?

And Steph, good for you for AGAIN being the bigger person. You are such an inspiration! I wish I was half as mature as you...thanks

[AllyRae]

How on earth did you not fall down laughing when Owen kicked M in the groin? Or did you psychically tell Owen to do that?

I'm glad he at least showed up...maybe he's starting to regret missing out on Owen's first 4 1/2 years...

[JustVanessa]

What did Owen think of him?

[LoveOhm]

I think you are an amazing mom for the effort you make for your son. Sorry his dad left much to be desired on the parenting (and just basic respect) front for Owen but I still think it is better than no contact at all.

In many ways I am in a similar situation with my dd's father where I often bend when he decides he wants to see dd but I would honestly not want to trade it for moms who are fighting for custody, etc. Each side of the coin has it's pros and cons....

(((HUGS STEPH)))

[LoveOhm]

Originally Posted by Jster

And Steph, good for you for AGAIN being the bigger person. You are such an inspiration! I wish I was half as mature as you...thanks

:

[StephandOwen]

Originally Posted by AllyRae

How on earth did you not fall down laughing when Owen kicked M in the groin? Or did you psychically tell Owen to do that?

While I was laughing inside, no- I did not tell or will Owen to do that. LOL! I did, however, teach him that he doesn't have to put up with ANYONE touching him that he doesn't want to touch him. Sorry, but it's the truth. It's his body and if he doesn't want to give a hug, he doesn't have to. It doesn't matter who it is trying to give it.

Originally Posted by Jster

Who knows when he'll show up again?

I did get a text from him tonight thanking me for bringing Owen up there and asking to let him know whenever we come back again. Soooo.... who knows. You know, if he *really* wanted to be a part of Owen's life, how about calling and talking to him between visits? Nah, way too much work.

Originally Posted by Jster

How did Owen feel about it, did he respond to Matt?

Originally Posted by JustVanessa

What did Owen think of him?

Well, still trying to figure out exactly what he thinks. We'll talk about it a little later this week when things settle down. He did randomly say to me yesterday after his bath (after the park) that he had fun at the park. I asked who he played with and he said "ummmm.... I don't really know..... someone named dad". So he knows that person is called dad, but I don't think he *gets* it.

Owen did say something disturbing on the ride home today though. He told DP that his "other dad" told him that he needs to follow his directions and not dp's I have no reason to believe ds lied about this, as he's never lied before (he's not at that stage developmentally) and he's *never* used the word "directions" before. One thing about ds though is he has echolalia a lot, so he repeats things word for word, which is exactly what he did in this case. So, I don't really know what to do about this. I'll have to talk to ds about it this week.

[annarbor931]

Matt is a creep. Even if he has moments of interest in Owen, I don't know how beneficial it is for Owen to have contact with him. Matt does it for Matt. I understand why you allow it, Steph. I don't mean to criticize you. I just don't think it has any benefit for your son. I am not sure it is worse for Matt to not contact you at all. He lacks the maturity to be a parent to anyone, and Owen's special needs render him useless. I would not go out of my way to encourage a relationship with him. My son has special needs too, and his "father" is not a part of his life. I will not allow him to come and go, however. In fact, I am trying to terminate his rights. I honestly feel that my son is better off without him.

[Jilian]

OMG, I haven't looked at this forum in months and I just popped by to say hi and saw this! Did hell freeze over or something? M actually initiated and showed up for a visit?! Wow!

[Bad Mama Jama]

Originally Posted by StephandOwen

And then ex decided he was still going to pick Owen up and force a hug. At which time Owen kicked him in the.... yeah. And I silently was hyperventilating from laughter.

I am sorry. I read that and couldn't stop laughing, Good for Owen! Kids know!

And as for you, Steph, you are a good one because I couldn't tolerate someone acting like a child when they are supposed to be developing their parenting skills.

[hkitty]

Your update about the visit totally had me laughing! I can just picture the slap-stick incompetent dad. Sorry you have to deal with that at all.