Originally Posted by pranava
I thought the federal defence of marriage act still made it impossible to get federal marraige benefits even if your state made it legal.
I know that the university I work for in Indiana offers insurance benefits for my DP, but the federal government doesn't recognize our relationship, so we pay taxes on every penny the university spends for DP's health insurance. What this means is that a straight married couple pay $1 per month for health insurance, but we pay $175 per month.
Tell me if I'm wrong, does the above not hold true in CA or MA?
Yup - you are exactly right Pranava. But, in CA even with domestic partnerships, we at least don't have to pay state income taxes on the imputed income.
Defenestrator - if I read it right, you *can* get married in CA, but as I recall from when VT started recognizing civil unions, folks from out of state want to use extra caution... VT had a residency requirement for divorce, which was the same process for disolving a civil union. So, even though there is no residency requirement to get into a civil union, CU'd partners who broke up had to have one of the partners move to VT for 6 months to legally separate. (This has implications on stuff like credit and perhaps the ability to get married/CU'd/DP'd elsewhere.) I don't know if this was resolved to eliminate this or if it would apply to CA and/or MA.
I know it's not fun thinking about the end of a relationship, especially when you are committed enough to consider marriage. But, my parents were married for 25 years and then divorced, so I see that it can happen.