Originally Posted by RiverMamma
I think that the biggest challenge with post baby sex is simply hormonal changes. When a woman has a baby & is breastfeeding, her body is physiologicly aware that she has a baby, and so does not think it needs to make one, resulting in a lack of sex drive. Men on the other hand are hardwired to plant seeds, and don't experience a dramatic chemical/hormonal shift after the birth of their baby. It is these oposite physiological states that pose the real challenge. As far as I'm concerned, bedsharing with your baby really has very little to do with it, it is a simple challenge that can be easily worked arround, beeing far easier to deal with than having no sex drive & a frustrated husband with plenty of sex drive!
Yes. i agree. i think co-sleeping isnt really the issue in the lack of sex problems in my relationship.
i also think it can go the other way round...while my sex drive isnt as high as it was before the birth, i am still up for it, and my partner couldn't be bothered to make an effort. He is so un-adaptable he cant get his head around any other possibility xcept DTD in our bed at night with no baby in the room...which makes me think he isn't really bothered about it. bit hurtful
today i have moved into the other room, two mattresses on the floor, me and DS. DP refused to take our bed off its base to make it safer, and DS is getting more mobile by the day, so i feel he's left me with no choice. As far as I can see, if you really want to have sex with your partner, you will make the effort. He seems to use it as an excuse (the cosleeping) and is bitter about it...the baby's taken over our lives, etc.
i read some of the posts on here, where mom and dad still have a happy sex life and are happy cosleeping, and i wish it were me. oh well. Its hard to withstand the pressure from DP to sleep train DS and 'move him on' from cosleeping, but i'm confident i'm doing the right thing(most of the time!)