Originally Posted by the_lissa
Yeah and none of that has to take place in bed. My partner and I do that on the couch together in the evenings. We also do it in bed, kids or not.
The more I read, the more I think our experience is due to our particular child.
Our child does not fall asleep in our room until we are going to bed. If we try to chat in the evening, she is right there
adding her input
Our child will come look for us if we leave the bed and she awakens after she falls asleep. So there would be no nookie on the exercise equiptment, even if we had any
Our child also is a really lousy sleeper
When our child sleeps in her own bed (which she has done intermittently over the years, but not with any regularity....just enough that we know what we are missing), we can close our door and have sweet, golden privacy
. That is exactly what we are missing out on by cosleeping with an older child--privacy. Our room is respected as a private space (knock before you enter), but it is the only room respected as such. So, when she is always in there
, we have no place that we can relax an assume that we won't be disturbed
Anyway, I just really find the "can't you find anywhere better to do it?" comments extremely unhelpful. I guess if your kid actually falls asleep and stays in bed predictably, then cosleeping wouldn't hinder intimacy. But not all kids are so cooperative, and some families really do struggle with this issue.