what can we cut down on? - Page 2

[heatherdeg]

Originally Posted by YesandNo

If I were you, I'd go back to work, at least part time. It sounds like you & your husband have a somewhat expensive lifestyle expectation that you would like to maintain. And that is OK, I'm not saying it in judgment. Every couple has to find the right balance for them to make their family happy.

Bay Area + Volvo + cable + debt + SAHM + husband in real estate in this market = maybe not viable.

Given your previous large income I assume you have the ability to make good money going back to work, enough to cover daycare and bring in a decent amount of cash on top of that. You could maintain your lifestyle as well as have some savings, a 529 for the LO, good health insurance which helps to keep the family healthy, etc.

:

And I would make your decision and just make peace with what it equates to... does that make sense? Maybe that's what you do NOW so that you can have something else you want LATER... kwim? If you really want to be at home but be comfortable, go back to work for a while, bank the money and pay some stuff down, THEN SAH when it can be done when it doesn't feel like giving up everything else you also want.

There's seriously no problem with the people that want a Sleep Number bed and a $50k car and are willing to go to work for that. But it's a serious PITA for those of us who have to hear them bitch about the choices THEY have made (no matter who is listening to them--SAHP, WOHP, whomever). I think the issue is less about the choices people make and more about the fact that they don't own their decisions. Does that make sense?

I feel like I may not be making sense today.

[cappuccinosmom]

I think the issue is less about the choices people make and more about the fact that they don't own their decisions. Does that make sense?

I feel like I may not be making sense today.

Sure you are.

There are some situations where you simply cannot have everything you want. If you want a certain lifestyle and certain stuff, but can't have it on one income, there are two choices: lower the lifestyle expectations, or work to pay for the lifestyle. It's not bad to want a certain lifestyle. But it does have certain natural consequences (it takes more money!).

[BF124497]

As long as you're hemorrhaging money on big stuff (home, car, and so on), cutting down on food and extras won't make that much difference.

Can you move into the city? We have a 700-sq. ft. apartment, but it's within walking distance to DH's work, so his commuting cost is $0. The rent is ridiculous--I understand living in an expensive city--but everything we need is local, and DH gets to spend a lot more time with us.

A lot of people think living further from the city saves them money. We've found that the opposite is true. It's a much smaller life than I'd prefer, but we do it so I can stay home. It sounds like, in this situation, you just have to sort out how much of a priority that is.

[Amys1st]

Originally Posted by CatsCradle

I understand that there are people out there like those type of friends/contacts, but everytime I come onto message boards this is the common judgment. It is depressing for us parents who work outside the home but live simply and place value on family and community rather than things. DH and I live on lawyers' salaries but yet we choose to live in a one-bedroom apartment in the city and have no car. We pay about $1,000 month in student loans...and those are costs that simply don't go away. We live in a very expensive part of the country (northeast) so I totally feel for the OP's cost of living issues. There are real people out here that do have to work to cover certain obligations. Plasma TV? What plasma TV? A common piece of advice that people give: just move. That really bugs me because it assumes that people can just pick up and go somewhere else, foresaking family, friends, schools, jobs and other securities that come with growing up in a community. We have so little sense of community in this country the way it is...

To the OP: I would talk to a financial advisor who can look at your situation from a third-party standpoint. The cars may be the easiest thing to ditch...but I don't know your situation or if you have access to public transport, etc. The hard part is distinguishing between your needs and your wants. If you need a car, perhaps you could reevaluate what kind of car and whether or not you need two. Also consider what you're paying in expendables like gas, food, sundries. I know that here in NYC we can really put out in food (especially if buying organic) and we don't have access to the big box stores where a lot of people find savings (although I probably wouldn't shop at the big box places anyway for personal reasons). A good thing to do is to write down or record every single expenditure that you have for a month. You'll be surprised at how much you spend and where. Sometimes the cable and telecom costs pale in comparison to other costs! I wish you luck and hope that you can work it out.

I have to agree with this post. Yes its very easy to say- they have all this stuff of course they cannot afford to stay home! I know several families who are like this quote, need both incomes. OTH, I know a few who are like the judgemental post. But for every have it all family with the sleep number bed etc, there are 5 more families who are putting everything together to make it month to month on both incomes. Its sort of like saying the sah parent has no goals or does nothing etc- its easy to point fingers.

As far as the OP. Yes selling the cars taking a loss and moving on might be the best option. But this is a short term solution to a long term issue.

After climbing out of this hole you guys have dug yourself into, you need to say- I dont want this anymore. Realize for the next few years trophy cars or expensive anything is on the back burner until you can walk into the dealership and pay cash for this great deal they are dishing out.

[marzanmama]

I live in the Bay Area too so I know how hard it can be to make ends meet.

I agree that you should ditch the car. $4/gallon gas isn't going away anytime soon, that is, until we hit $5! So what's the use of having a plush car at this stage of the game, if it's too expensive to go anywhere?

I think this is a good area to find a quality used car for cheap. In '01 I sold my trusty single-gal compact car for only $500 even though the blue-book value was something like $1250. I was just ready to get rid of it at that point. An acquaintance who was interested in it indicated that she had a lot to choose from in that price range. I understand having emotional attachments to cars. I can't pass a Mazda5 w/o having a pang of longing. But it passes.

You said you're cutting down on groceries but you didn't elaborate. Does your dh buy lunch in downtown SF? I know it's hard to do so for less that $10. Brown-bagging it would save you a lot.

One thing we do that perhaps isn't a huge $ saver, but that we enjoy, is to designate Sunday as a car-free day. We hang out at home, take long walks, go to the park nearby. No car=no stores, no restaurants.

Anyway, best of luck to you.

[ZoshaMosha]

I'm from the BA too (currently in LA, though). It seems you could get a much better phone/cable/internet package. Have you called comcast to see what kind of deal you can get? In So Cal we have Time Warner Cable and you can get phone/cable/internet package for $39.99.

[leewd]

I realize that moving is not necessarily an option, but just out of curiosity I did a city-to-city comparison on Salary.com and BestPlaces.com of San Francisco and Houston.

A real estate appraiser makes $45-57K in SF
A real estate appraiser makes $38-48K in Hou
(i.e. 15% paycut)

BUT it costs 50% less to live in Houston!
So, that would be like a 35% pay increase.

If you did that for 5 years, you could get totally out of debt, pile up a bunch of cash and move back home!

Again, I realize that moving may not be an option, but it doesn't have to be a permanent thing . . .

Good Luck!
--LEE

[mamazee]

My advice is to take a loss on the car and get a fairly cheap used car that gets good gas mileage. You'd be better off getting a used Camry than a new Prius, money-wise. And environmentally as well as it takes TONS of resources and oil to make a new vehicle.

Get one of those cheap VOIP phone services. Get rid of cable. Do something else there anyway. Shop around - those phone/cable/etc. places are in stiff competition and are offering some awesome deals. Call around and say, "This is how much I pay for cable, internet, and phone. What can you do to save me money?"

[rightkindofme]

Originally Posted by leewd

I realize that moving is not necessarily an option, but just out of curiosity I did a city-to-city comparison on Salary.com and BestPlaces.com of San Francisco and Houston.

A real estate appraiser makes $45-57K in SF
A real estate appraiser makes $38-48K in Hou
(i.e. 15% paycut)

BUT it costs 50% less to live in Houston!
So, that would be like a 35% pay increase.

If you did that for 5 years, you could get totally out of debt, pile up a bunch of cash and move back home!

Again, I realize that moving may not be an option, but it doesn't have to be a permanent thing . . .

Good Luck!
--LEE

You mean well, but the bay area is so much more expensive than the rest of the country that usually it is like an escalator--once you get off it is hard to get back on. If you want to come back and rent here it isn't so bad, but buying a house here will never get easier.

[yukookoo]

well we are going to be able to sell the truck for a good price and get the prius for a good price. After checking it out new is cheaper than used in our case. Our payment will be much lower than the money we save in gas, so that is good. We are also going to get the emergency health insurance, so that will get us to where we need to be.

I didnt mention that mostly i was freaking out because this month DH's grandfather had a heart attack and dh had to go out of state to care for him. This put us back and made the emergency situations more real.

BUT ihave to say that staying home with DD atleast for the first 3 years is the most important thing to me. I am very lucky in that i do have a family member that would help is asked. Although I pride myself on not asking and it would be a last last last resort it is nice to know it's there, we are talking emergency fund.

We are not drowning by most standards. I dont know where that figure came from 50,000 for an appraiser, maybe if you work for the city or something DH works privately with someone who is very well known and has been in the field for years and years so his jobis not that risky and in SF there are always people investing. Right now is a great time to invest if you are rich and he has a lot of work. We are just always worried about the what if's

I guess what I got out of the "meaner" posts is that I have to be willing to say that sah with DD is more important at the moment than an emergency fund life insurance, money in the bank etc.

and of course it is.

I was mostly just venting and freaking out about money in general.

I looked into the volvo thing extensively and unless we are in dire straights it really is not a good choice to sell it. The better choice is to pay it off as quickly as we can and drive it forever.

O we have looked at moving. DH can make the same amount in Oregon so that has been our plan B always.

[leewd]

Originally Posted by yukookoo

We are not drowning by most standards. I dont know where that figure came from 50,000 for an appraiser . . .

It came from Salary.com.

I'm really glad to hear the storm has passed