Yes, I feel children who are never expected (or conversely, never *allowed*) to contribute to the household are done a disservice.
It's better to learn how to clean, cook, do laundry, take care of things while you still have the safety net of being at home. If you ruin all your laundry your first time on your own, that can be a significant financial hardship when you're going to school/at your first apt. vs. having mom there to explain things and even laugh/cry with you about it and salvage some of it.
I want my children to savor independance AND interdependance. To me, the most essential thing I can teach them as a parent is not only how to care for themselves but also how to work as a functioning household team. Even if it's a pain in my ass quite honestly, because in teaching them I must also have tolerance for things not done quite up to my standards all the time or in my way.
Most 8 year olds are perfectly capable of doing their own laundry (unless they can't reach the bottom of the machine, we have a front loader so this isn't as big of a deal) or helping on laundry days, folding and putting away clothing, some limited independent cooking (or all out cooking with supervision), vaccuming, washing windows and non super-contaminated surfaces (I'm leery of letting kids use harsher chemicals than watered down ammonia, to be honest, I try to stay way from that myself). They can assist with pet care and yard work (yard work would depend on their trustworthiness with tools and strength--my 6.5 year old helps me prune roses, and plant things, but I wouldn't hand over the weed whacker or branch pruners or lawmower until she was significantly older). They can certainly load the dishwasher--I bet many won't be tall enough to completely put all the dishes away, but they could do the stuff they could reach.
I guess I'm just a mean ol' mom. I expect my children to contribute age appropriately to our household, and they are expected to do their chores. I don't really tie them to privleges necessarily, it's just something they've been brought up with. I also think that probably most people are going to have to deal with having to do something that they're not yippy skippy about doing now and then, so I don't think I'd help my kids by encouraging a "I'll do what I want when I want to" attitude.
Now I grew up in a household where I wasn't allowed to contribute because I would "mess it up". (control and OCD issues were a very big part of my childhood) So literally I didn't know how to do one single damn thing for myself. Luckily I had a series of very patient, nuturing housemates who were able to frame for me acceptible behavior and technical skills. Later I had mentors and a very kind mom-figure housekeeper who have helped me put the finishing touches on there. I do know people who never had that help, were labeled as problems and shunned, ect.
I know most people think cleaning/housekeeping is 'common sense', but for quite a few of us it's totally not, and I"m not stupid or anything.
In any case, my kids will have the skills necessary to keep and maintain a home. That's where my responsibility ends, I'm not going to bitch at them when/if they leave home and then choose not to use 'em. But I do think it's part of my responsibility to equip them with those skills.
I am the least lazy but the littler girls cry and cry if they have to clean anything because my mom was super lax about chores.
