Have you seen Juno (the movie)? - Page 5

[sadie_sabot]

Originally Posted by calpurnia

cjanelles & unassistedmomma, thanks for sharing your experiences & feelings. We always have so much variation in our stories, don't we.

yes, thank you both.

[angelpie545]

Originally Posted by Jessy1019

I'm against adoption, and I think portraying it as a "choice" made by a "cool" teenager is very irresponsible.

Here's an article I wrote about it: A Horror Show Called Juno.

And here's another about why some natural mothers were upset by Juno: from the Chicago Tribune.

In "A Horror Show Called Juno" you state that Juno's adoption was an open one; in fact, it was not. She specifically stated that she wanted a closed adoption and that was what was agreed upon in the scene where she meets Mark and Vanessa for the first time.

[UnassistedMomma]

I noticed that discrepancy in the movie though - an adoption with any level of contact with the adoptive family is considered at the very least semi-open. In a true closed adoption, the parties have a middle man (agency, attorneys, whatever); they never meet each other and know names, etc. Maybe that's the confusion there? What Juno truly represented was a semi-open adoption.

[Jessy1019]

Originally Posted by UnassistedMomma

I noticed that discrepancy in the movie though - an adoption with any level of contact with the adoptive family is considered at the very least semi-open. In a true closed adoption, the parties have a middle man (agency, attorneys, whatever); they never meet each other and know names, etc. Maybe that's the confusion there? What Juno truly represented was a semi-open adoption.

Yup . . . open is any contact with the adopters. From what I read, Juno had a relationship with both of them during her pregnancy.

Also, it was presented to her that contact was her choice if she wanted it, implying to people watching that all a mother had to do was say she wanted contact and she could have it. That's not reality at all -- in fact, most open adoptions are closed by the adopters once the adoption is final.

[momz3]

Originally Posted by CookieMonsterMommy

I kind of took that to be their way of feeling her (Juno) out, to see if she was just in it for the money. Just my take, though.

I dunno I kinda doubt it. They, well she, looked pretty eager (understandably so) . I'm pretty sure she was making an offer. Our atty had a case like that he was telling us about it last week. The adoption was final already and the birthmother came back and claimed fraud from the Aps . The husband told the atty that his wife gave her a grand under the table. It happens , yes, but its wrong.

dunno why the natural mom took the money if she was gonna file for fraud anyway?? Anyway, they both are facing charges , and this baby is in the middle of it.

[cjanelles]

Originally Posted by Jessy1019

in fact, most open adoptions are closed by the adopters once the adoption is final.

I'm interested to know where you got this information...what statistics you are referring to and by whom they were measured.

[momz3]

Originally Posted by cjanelles

While I can understand how that might make some mothers uncomfortable, it isn't a false premise that a young woman who has chosen to relinquish her baby for adoption might not feel attached to the baby.

I am a birthmom. At the age of 20, I got pregnant with my second child...and as I was raising my first child (born when I was 18), I knew--without question--as soon as I discovered my pregnancy that I would not be keeping the baby. I was too far along for an abortion, so adoption was my only option.

I was not attached to the baby. I did not feel bonded to her. I was not overcome with grief and sadness when she was born or at any point thereafter. People seem to be put off by the idea that a woman could carry a child and not be bonded to it, but doesn't that happen with women who keep their babies all the time? This delayed bonding thing? I knew throughout my pregnancy that I wasn't keeping the baby, so I guess I kept myself from getting attached to the idea...

Having given birth to three other children whom I am raising, I can understand why it is disconcerting for mothers who have never been through this kind of process might not understand or not feel comfortable with the idea of a mom not bonding or feeling attached, but it happens and it doesn't mean anything bad about the mom it happens to--doesn't mean she's in denial or heartless or immature. It just means that that's how she deals with her situation.

Thanks for sharing

[CookieMonsterMommy]

Originally Posted by cjanelles

I'm interested to know where you got this information...what statistics you are referring to and by whom they were measured.

Yeah, that'd be interesting to see, huh?

Can we have a thread that mentions adoption WITHOUT the Adoption-Is-Wrong campaign springing off? Seriously. I say this with any respect that is due. If you didn't see the movie, you shouldn't comment on the movie. If you're not commenting on the movie, you should start your own thread--at the very least to respect the OP, who's intent was not to debate the ethics of adoption, but to discuss a specific movie.

So...how bout them orange tic tacs?

[momz3]

Originally Posted by CookieMonsterMommy

So...how bout them orange tic tacs?

Looked pretty yummy to me!:

[Jessy1019]

Originally Posted by cjanelles

I'm interested to know where you got this information...what statistics you are referring to and by whom they were measured.

Some of the numbers I've gotten came from The Carlini Institute, others (a stat of 80%) was the number given to a mother by her adoption agency AFTER her child's adopters blew her off.

Can we have a thread that mentions adoption WITHOUT the Adoption-Is-Wrong campaign springing off?

I hope not. It's something that desperately needs saying, and I'm not the type to be silent simply because that would be more convenient.

If you didn't see the movie, you shouldn't comment on the movie.

The title of this thread is, "Have you seen Juno (the movie)?" I answered the question.

[madskye]

Originally Posted by UnassistedMomma

I too am a birth mother to my 2nd child. (I was also in my early 20's) I think that is part of why I didn't like the movie. It actually made me angry in fact!

The whole process of the adoption decision and relinquishment didn't seem to even put a bump in her path, and that really bothered me. I made my decision later in the pregnancy than you did, so that might part of the difference there. Also, my birth daughter was in NICU for 2 weeks after her birth and even though I knew I was relinquishing, I felt it was my duty to be her mother until she went to her new mother, and I spent every minute I could in the NICU sitting with her as I didn't want her to just be there laying alone.

So... anyway, we had very similar but different experiences and that's probably why we viewed the movie differently, but her disconnect from the situation really bothered me a lot.

Well, it's ok that her disconnect bothered you--but I would say Juno is a character in a movie--she's not you, or me, she is simply one girl having her own, unique reaction to an unplanned pregnancy. She is a glib, immature, sarcastic girl with a lot of defenses. She has so many defenses that she can't even ask the boy she loves to be there for her, because she is so afraid of being rejected.

I think the whole point of the movie is to show growth--think about how ignorant and heartless she is in the beginning dealing with Jennifer Garner--telling JG she is lucky that she can't get preg, laughing at her playing with the child in the mall--and how that grows into Juno's realization that Jennifer Garner will be a GREAT MOM even though she's not the cool one.

I think I cried so much during the movie because I felt like I was watching a young girl who couldn't allow herself to get attached.

Basically, my point is that her story is very different than yours, but it's still a good story. It's fiction, but it still made me think and feel, just like reading your post did.

[Masel]

Originally Posted by Jessy1019

And here's another about why some natural mothers were upset by Juno: from the Chicago Tribune.

This Chicago Tribune article contains the following quote

"The reality is, you're kind of debilitated by this loss for the rest of your life in the same way as if you lost a child to death," she says.

My DD's birthfamily lost a son to SIDS many years ago. We talked a lot about him while waiting for DD to be born. Her birth brought up a lot of feelings that they hadn't dealt with. For them choosing to give DD to my husband and me was part of finally approaching healing for that other loss. I think they'd be first to say that the experiences were very very different. They are thriving now and have told us how happy they are that we are DD's parents and how well she is doing.

This adoption is still very open and will continue to be.

Anyone who is debilitated by a loss needs to spank their inner moppet and get themselves to counseling.

Sorry, this isn't really about Juno. I've not seen it (hey, I have a 2 year old) but I was so worried about seeing an adoptive mom get shafted that I have read several long summaries of the movie. It's next in my Blockbuster que.

[momz3]

Originally Posted by Masel

This Chicago Tribune article contains the following quote


My DD's birthfamily lost a son to SIDS many years ago. We talked a lot about him while waiting for DD to be born. Her birth brought up a lot of feelings that they hadn't dealt with. For them choosing to give DD to my husband and me was part of finally approaching healing for that other loss. I think they'd be first to say that the experiences were very very different. They are thriving now and have told us how happy they are that we are DD's parents and how well she is doing.

This adoption is still very open and will continue to be.

Anyone who is debilitated by a loss needs to spank their inner moppet and get themselves to counseling.

Sorry, this isn't really about Juno. I've not seen it (hey, I have a 2 year old) but I was so worried about seeing an adoptive mom get shafted that I have read several long summaries of the movie. It's next in my Blockbuster que.

thats awesome!!!!
I agree that moms should be atleast offered counseling..(shouldn't be forced into it).
Juno was ok. There were things I didn't like about it...I'm glad I didn't see it in theatres!! I just paid the redbox 1 dollar lol.

[Spock]

Originally Posted by Jessy1019

Some of the numbers I've gotten came from The Carlini Institute, others (a stat of 80%) was the number given to a mother by her adoption agency AFTER her child's adopters blew her off.

Do you have a link to this Carlini Institute? The only links I'm finding don't work. I would think an organization worth quoting as part of your "research" would have a working website.

[Jessy1019]

Originally Posted by librarydragon

Do you have a link to this Carlini Institute? The only links I'm finding don't work. I would think an organization worth quoting as part of your "research" would have a working website.

The site was working when I wrote my book last year. Basically, they're a counseling center that also trains post-adoption counselors. Heather Carlini is the founder; she is also a natural mother. Her information about open adoption was also quoted in a newspaper article on the deceptive tactics used by crisis pregnancy centers.

[CookieMonsterMommy]

Ah. So no verifiable or neutral studies as proof?

Interesting indeed. And I mean that seriously, mods, I find that interesting.

[Synchro246]

Originally Posted by Jessy1019

I'm against adoption, and I think portraying it as a "choice" made by a "cool" teenager is very irresponsible.

Here's an article I wrote about it: A Horror Show Called Juno.

And here's another about why some natural mothers were upset by Juno: from the Chicago Tribune.

From your article:

Juno is terrifying precisely because it seems so real. Young women who sit through this movie will come out believing that adoption is a choice – one made by a strong, smart, savvy, and otherwise adorable teenager, no less.

I guess I still don't see why you won't be seeing the movie. It seems like your article would have the potential for more punch if you had actually seen it.
I guess it's like someone who is anti-abortion not wanting to see If These Walls Could talk or Vera Drake. It's understandable for them not to want to see the movie, but it would be a little odd for them to speak out specifically against those movies.

Originally Posted by CookieMonsterMommy

If you didn't see the movie, you shouldn't comment on the movie.

Yeah. And I don't mean in this thread, I mean in the article.




Not that I agree or disagree with your stance on adoption, Jesse. I honestly haven't thought about it enough to have an opinion.

[anitaj71]

I loved that movie ! . . . If you`re in I`m in . . . Can that movie have been any sweeter. I guess there will always be debate over all sorts of movies . . . I felt it was well done and perfectly charming.

[PatchChild]

I can certainly see where some people would take issue with it, but I think that they told the story very well. One person's choice, and a glimps at life.

[ryansma]

I liked the movie and cried my eyes out at the end. My dh liked it too and thought the best part was Juno's dad saying "Next time I see that Bleeker kid I'm going to punch him in the weiner." Yes, I married an adolescent
I really loved the line where Juno said " I don't really know what kind of girl I am." I thought that was great.