whew, i read the whole thread!!!
you mentioned earlier in this thread boys getting erections during nursing.
um, hello, my son has had continuous erections every single time he has nursed since the day he was born. Once he was 5 months old or so, he began to play with his erect penis while nursing. He will just sit and play with it now, he knows where and what it is and it is his body.
Is this disturbing? Not to me. Not anymore than my being able to have sexual fantasies and be a mother- my son can be a sexual creature AND nurse. (he is 14 months old). We are all sexual beings, from our birth, our lives, our own birthing and breast nurturing, every breath we take on the earth is sexual.
it is interesting, though, that many mothers in this society struggle with their roles as mother/ lover, that people desexualize labor and birth and nursing. interesting and sad.
there was a law & order show i saw
ing where a mother of a 1/2 african american boy killed someone who was going to expose his heritage (you couldnt tell by looking, i guess) and she went to prison. i think this relates, because she claimed she desperately wanted to protect her child from a society that hates African Americans, but in the end, she was supporting bigotry, defending it almost, as something to be afraid of.
It is people feeling they need to do negative, or even just less-than-ideal things to shield their children (or themselves) that reinforce the society they are trying to shield their children from. im not saying you have to resist society all the time but it is important not to conform out of fear.
have i lost track of what i was saying?
i strongly believe that one of the reasons EBF is yet 'weird' even in this progressive area, is that the many EBFing mothers are afraid to do it in public. I will nurse my son anywhere, anytime. he lifts my shirt high in the air and yells, "boobie!". he loves to nurse. so do i.
will we be nursing at 11? who knows. My husband respects and trusts me, and wouldnt call 911 on me. If he would, i would have to wonder why i chose him? Arent you supposed to settle down and raise children with someone you trust? at least? how about someone who loves you, too? i guess i am lucky.
I dont think this discussion is about what age the child is. it is about comfort levels. culture shock, even. if nursing to 11 doesnt feel good to you, so be it. you can choose to wean at any age- unfortunately, no one can make all these american women bring their babies to their breasts. Some refuse even the first milk. It hurts me to think of all the babies denied their birthright each day. If you choose not to EBF, i dont think you will hurt your child. If you choose to i dont think it will hurt either- it is good! I wholeheartedly agree with Devrock and indeed everything she has written in this thread.