11 YR old BF - Page 2

[Sustainer]

Breast-nurturing, then. Milk or no milk, it is not harmful.

[Firemom]

I really didn't have any milk the last few months of nursing my dd, so I don't think that is an issue either.

I just don't really know if I beleive this 11 year old is really nursing. It's just very very unusual. I am definitely an EN advocate too

[JessicaS]

I don't know...I really can't go off third hand info very well...I think after it goes so far down the chain it isn't always good info.

Some Alaskan Natives nurse until that age and it isn't uncommon among some of them to nurse at that age.

I have read of a few cases of women nursing children at an older age due to extremely bad allergies as in the child simply could not eat hardly any food without a reaction.

While I wouldn't want to still be nursing at that age I can't really judge someone, especially when I don't know anything about the situation.

[UlrikeDG]

I don't think you can judge one way or the other based purely on the fact that they are still nursing. Still nursing may be yet another way that an otherwise disfunctional relationship is manifesting itself. Or, this could just be a couple who reaches the far end of the bell curve for the age of natural weaning.

[AnnMarie]

Originally posted by Devrock
Breast-nurturing, then. Milk or no milk, it is not harmful.

I'm all for EBF, and I have to disagree. It could be harmful. I don't think there's really enough information to judge this case, but I think in some cases it could be harmful.

[veganmamma]

My dp was taking an anthropology class when I got pg and in it, he learned that primates wean at puberty. The chemical onset of puberty for humans is between age 5 and 10. Considering that many native peoples breastfeed, or breat nurture to age 10 or 11, I do not find myself in a postition to judge their relationship, especially, as abimommy has said, off third hand info.
Lauren

[Sustainer]

Originally posted by AnnMarie
It could be harmful. I don't think there's really enough information to judge this case, but I think in some cases it could be harmful.

How? How could it harm? The only problem I can imagine a breastfed 11 yr old having is people *telling him* it's harmful. The people need to change, not the breastfeeding.

[AnnMarie]

Originally posted by Devrock
How? How could it harm? The only problem I can imagine a breastfed 11 yr old having is people *telling him* it's harmful. The people need to change, not the breastfeeding.

That is one way. Let's face it, life is hard, kids are cruel, people don't understand breastfeeding babies, never mind 11 year olds. Does that mean that people shouldn't do it to please those? Of course not. But I think you have to weigh the pros and the cons and I personally don't see any pros to letting a child suck on the breast for comfort at 11 years old. There are many other ways to show love and affection and I can't imagine any 11 year old even wanting to do this. I wonder if this woman that says she is doing this isn't just telling a story?

The other thing that would concern me is at 11 it could be emotionally damaging. My daughter is 10 and going through puberty. I couldn't imagine nursing her, she wouldn't want to. I don't think most child would want to at that age. I have to wonder what it could do to a young boy that's going through puberty.

It's weird being on this side of the argument. I'm usually the one saying that there's nothing wrong with EBF and it should continue as long as mutually desired, but something just doesn't seem right with this situation. I can't see an 11 year old boy wanting to suck on his mother's breast. But I think it's OK to feel really strongly about something like breastfeeding, but still realize that maybe it's not always the best thing. I think sometimes we have such strong feelings that it's hard to say yeah, maybe that's not such a great thing.

[AnnMarie]

Originally posted by Zanymom

I guess another co-worker told her that was child abuse, and she got really upset. But now that makes it seem even weirder to me. I don't know what she is thinking, but I don't think this is good for the boy.

This is exactly what makes me think the story may not be true. Come on, people call social services for nursing 3 year olds. :LOL But nobody is going to call on a woman nursing her 11 year old?

[Meiri]

From the boy's POV, I doubt anyone would know. I know that when DS was "still" nursing at 4, his preschool teachers and pals didn't know. It wasn't as if he nursed like a newborn or while we were out. When it's tailing off as they get older it tends to be a comfort/quiet-moment/going-to-sleep sort of thing. At least that's how it's been for me, twice.

[Sustainer]

Originally posted by AnnMarie
I personally don't see any pros to letting a child suck on the breast for comfort at 11 years old. ... at 11 it could be emotionally damaging. ... I have to wonder what it could do to a young boy that's going through puberty. ... something just doesn't seem right with this situation.

I feel very strongly that children should be allowed to self-wean at whatever age they are ready. How could EBF be emotionally damaging? What do you imagine EBF could possibly do to a young boy who *might be* starting to go through puberty? (11 seems a little young to me for a boy to be going through puberty.) I honestly think that the reason this doesn't "seem right" to you is simply because you are not used to seeing it, or even thinking about the idea. People have the exact same reaction to three year olds nursing, or even seven month olds nursing, simply because they are not used to seeing it or even considering it a possibility. Think of all those native people that veganmama mentioned, who are breastfeeding their 11 year olds, and see if you can get used to the idea.

[AnnMarie]

Originally posted by Devrock
I feel very strongly that children should be allowed to self-wean at whatever age they are ready. How could EBF be emotionally damaging? What do you imagine EBF could possibly do to a young boy who *might be* starting to go through puberty? (11 seems a little young to me for a boy to be going through puberty.) I honestly think that the reason this doesn't "seem right" to you is simply because you are not used to seeing it, or even thinking about the idea. People have the exact same reaction to three year olds nursing, or even seven month olds nursing, simply because they are not used to seeing it or even considering it a possibility. Think of all those native people that veganmama mentioned, who are breastfeeding their 11 year olds, and see if you can get used to the idea.

No, that's not it at all. I just look at my 10 year old and couldn't imagine her, or any other child her age wanting to nurse. At that age why would they? I don't consider this EBF because it's not feeding, the mother has no milk.

What do I think it could do? I don't know, that's why I said I wonder. I didn't say it WAS damaging, I said it could be.

It has nothing to do with not being used to seeing an 11 year old nurse. I'm not used to seeing a 2 or 3 year old nurse. I'm the only one in real life that I know that has done it to 2 years old. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. 4 or 5, haven't see that either, but I don't think it's the same as 11.

This is JMO and I wouldn't do it, but if someone else wants to who am I to say they can't? Now if I had proof it did harm that would be another story, but I don't. Still, I do have to wonder......

I'd like to hear more about those that nurse to 10 or 11. veganmamma, can you provide us with more information?

I'm not the only one here that's said it concerned them. I'd also like to hear from the others why they feel the way they do.

[AnnMarie]

Originally posted by Devrock
Think of all those native people that veganmama mentioned, who are breastfeeding their 11 year olds, and see if you can get used to the idea.

I don't think you can really compare it with that. Things are much different here, the kids are much different here. I think it really does make a difference.

[Sustainer]

A human being is a human being wherever you go in the world. It is certainly true that the culture is less supportive of EBF in this country, but that just means that the culture needs to change.

[AnnMarie]

Originally posted by Devrock
A human being is a human being wherever you go in the world. It is certainly true that the culture is less supportive of EBF in this country, but that just means that the culture needs to change.

It's not that simple. The people themselves are different, not just what goes on around them.

[Sustainer]

In what way could people be *that* different, just based on their location, that they would have a different age of natural weaning?

[Peppamint]

I have to say that it seems like a weird thought to me. I honestly cannot imagine myself nursing at 11... I was getting interested in boys and started my period at 12yo. I wanted to learn grown up things and I was enjoying learning how to be a peer with my parents.

I will admit that at one time, I thought nursing at 2 or 3yo was weird, and now I believe in EBF and child led weaning. My experiences and ideas are forever evolving as I learn more and educate myself. At this point, I just do think that 11 seems rather old. Like others have mentioned, we don't know the specifics of that family's dynamics either so I guess we can't make a solid judgment.

[Tanibani]

Originally posted by AnnMarie
No, that's not it at all. I just look at my 10 year old and couldn't imagine her, or any other child her age wanting to nurse. At that age why would they?

My perfectly and healthy 20 yr old neice secretly drank from a bottle until the age of 10.



Only her * immediate * family knew. Kids know that it's not socially acceptable, but do it anyway because they have a strong need.

While I personally would not be comfortable doing it that long, I don't have a problem with others doing it.

I just weaned my 3.5 yr old son. I was hoping he'd self-wean by 3. I did NOT want to go to age 4. He would have easily gone to 5. : My DH on the other hand, would have been much more comfortable if I had weaned at 12 months. I had to stand up to him to go this long and I'm proud of the 3 of us.

Some mothers do mother-led weaning at 2 (even though the child wants to keep going) or earlier... everybody is different.

This is a personal, personal thing.... I don't rush to judgement on it.

[BusyMommy]

Think of all those native people that veganmama mentioned, who are breastfeeding their 11 year olds, and see if you can get used to the idea.

I'm not sure how current this info would be. I live in an area w/many Ak Natives and I'm pretty sure this would not be acceptable to them. Perhaps in some of the smaller Native villages, yes. Perhaps it has something to do w/an inadequate diet. I really don't know. But, I know there are also some cultural issues about incest that have come up in the news-culturally acceptable or not?

Ok, huge issues and I sure don't have any answers. Just a thought that we may want to hold off on comparisons w/o having all the info.
Peace

[Meiri]

I'd like to know just what native people where are nursing their 11 year olds. Not once in all the years I've been reading about this issue, and I am an SN* advocate, have I seen this as a commonly accepted practice.

A book about the Inuit I recently read through, written in the 50's I think, mentioned under a photo of a mom nursing that they usually nurse until 3.

A Brazelton book I had mentioned that moms in Mexico would have their otherwise weaned older children, as in 6 or so, come nurse for a minute while they nursed baby in order for the older children to get the benefits.

I've read of moms in Sweden going in to nurse a not quite ailing 6 year old (read that one in Mothering ).

I remember the quote Liz Baldwin used in her "So I Nursed Him Every 45 Minutes" from a Native American's writings describing his starting to learn to hunt when he was 6 and "... I had almost stopped chasing my mother for her milk."

Even Kathy Dettwyler's work indicates a biological range that goes up to 7 years of age, with the possibility of outliers of a couple of years I suppose. That only takes the age up to 9.

But I've never seen mention of it going until ages like 10 or 11. Surely something so shocking to the Western Anthropologist would be mentioned?

Please, I would really like to see the sources where this is described for any indigenous culture.

*SN=Sustained Nursing, because nursing beyond infancy is normal, not "extended"