Originally Posted by kungfu_barbi
i don't think a paycheck is a reward (or a gift); a paycheck is earned (it's wages). if i didn't get a paycheck, i wouldn't be an employee; i'd be a 'volunteer.'
I see your point.
My thinking is along these lines: my job requires an advanced degree which took me a lot of time and $$ to get; so I feel like I'm being "rewarded" for making that investment in myself; I've also had other jobs that required the same degree but paid a WHOLE lot less so that makes my current salary even more of a reward in my mind. From a nonfinancial viewpoint, when I work intelligently and creatively, show enthusiasm and dedication, I have a better chance at bigger assignments, promotions, etc. That also seems reward-based to me.
If I didn't get paid at my current position, I wouldn't be there as a volunteer. I simply wouldn't be there. I feel fortunate to get a certain degree of self and professional satisfaction out of my work. But my main motivator is my need for the greenbacks.
Maybe "results" is a better word than "rewards"? Or "cause and effect"?
I eat more healthily; the result/reward is that I feel better, lose weight, etc.
I'm more responsible with money; the result/reward is that I'm not so stressed by family finances.
I donate to a charity or use organic yard products; the reward/result is that I'm contributing to the common good.
How does that translate into parenting? The "reward" of not jumping on the couch is that Mom isn't upset and fussing, that you (the child) get to do other things on the couch (read, color, play games) if you're not banished from it, that you learn to respect yours and others' property, that you don't fall and knock your head on the wall or floor, etc.
I don't think there is anything wrong with pointing these things out to a child in an age-appropriate way. It's not like OP is saying to her kids "don't jump on the couch and I'll give you 5 lbs. of candy." She's actively seeking better outlets for their jumping interests.
What value is there in letting children think they can destroy things as the mood strikes them? Build a sand castle and want to smash it? Lots of fun! Trash the family couch? No, thanks.