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Happier when DH goes to work? - Page 3

post #41 of 96
I like him around but he messes up my routine and has his own ideas Not much gets done when he's here, that's what annoys me.
post #42 of 96
I look forward to Monday mornings. The weekends are always so hectic, trying to pack in everything in 2 days, nothing gets done around the house and I feel like dh is another kid to take care of.

My dh did work out of town for a good while, he would come home on Friday night and leave at 3:00 am on Monday morning. It was much easier on the kids and I to stick with routines, meals were simpler, we could do our own thing. I miss it, but I know dh is happy seeing the kids every night.
post #43 of 96
HA HA HA! I was JUST thinking this! We recently sold our house and bought a new one, so DH thought it'd be a good idea to take 2 weeks off of work to help get settled... okay. So, it was really nice, but by the 8th or 9th day, I seriously needed to get back into my routine. He was ALWAYS underfoot and around. After 10 years you'd think he'd be sick of me, LOL.

So, yeah, mark me up there with the other gals who like when their hubbies leave. On the same token, I enjoy the kids' school days also... he he. I just like a routine and when it's interrupted and/or changed, I don't lie it.
post #44 of 96
Yup. I'm much happier when DH is at work. I'm able to get stuff done, do what I want with the kids without consulting him (go to the park, play at our neighbors, go on a walk) or waiting for him to do the 8 million things he needs to do before leaving the house. (take insulin, change his clothes, put his hat on, put his shoes on...95% of the time I've managed to get myself and both kids ready and we're standing at the door waiting on him!)

DH was just home for 2 days since he had lazer eye surgery on Monday and I'm SOOO happy he's back at work today.
post #45 of 96
Erm, no, I have one of those great husbands/partners and I hate it when he goes to work! He's taken the last 2 weeks off ot enjoy our new baby and it's been heaven for me and DS1. DH is a flexible, go-along kind of guy, so he has no problem working w/ any routines I have. He also helps out w/ the housework when he's home which is another plus. I do struggle w/ the family balance, tho'--if DH has DS1, do I nurse the baby in the same room or run to the computer/read a book/put the baby down and get some alone time, etc.

BUT, I have to say, DH used to travel a lot for work prior to our children and I absolutely loathed it. I would travel w/ him whenever possible. Now, though, I notice that when he's gone, I'm not as stressed by 6pm which is strange. I don't know if I pace myself differently, knowing I"m not going to get a break, or what, but I don't have that "I'm going to jump out the window if he doesn't come home and give me a break RIGHT NOW" feeling I get sometimes.

Just to ramble further, sometimes I think I put too much pressure on the weekends. I mean, it's like, ok, we have 2 days of maximum Daddy time--let's do all the deep cleaning/run errands/have some romance/give me a break/have lots of family fun. And of course I"m sure he's thinking, great! I have 2 days off to do nothing!
post #46 of 96
I'm the opposite. I can't wait for Fridays to roll around because he'll be home for the whole weekend. I'm especially psyched for this weekend because it's Memorial Day weekend and he'll be home Monday. He's a huge help with the kids and my best friend. I do like my routine during the week too though.
post #47 of 96
Nope. I love when my DH is here, although I don't *mind* when he's gone for long stretches (a few weeks, generally) because we get into our own little routine at home. I knew when we got together life would not be "typical" (military).

I'll tell you what I hate are the crazy hours DH works right now. He's gone most of Katie's waking hours, and sometimes doesn't see her for a couple of days. That screws us up, because she is definitely a Daddy's girl, and everything goes to pot when he only sees her on the weekends (So much excitement!!! Daddy's home!!! Time to go insane!!! I'm not sleeping if Daddy's home!!!).

Otherwise, I look forward to DH being home. We mesh well - obviously, or I wouldn't have married him. If we haven't seen each other much that week, we'll meet for lunch during his workday. He's great with our daughter, although she's definitely hit the Terrible Twos, and has also learned that Da-da is a much bigger pushover than Mama (she dimed him out this weekend by screeching "Cocoa more! Da-deeeee!", so I know she had cocoa for breakfast, which is one of the Mean Mommy things I don't generally do, and oooooh! The temper tantrum show she'll put on for him ). He helps around the house, although he's not very good at spotting what needs to be done, so I generally point it out or ask.

I very much look forward to my DH being home, although I'm quite capable of functioning without him.
post #48 of 96
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by katheek77 View Post

I very much look forward to my DH being home, although I'm quite capable of functioning without him.
You rock! You always have a great way of phrasing things!
post #49 of 96
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by katheek77 View Post
If we haven't seen each other much that week, we'll meet for lunch during his workday.
So sweet.
post #50 of 96
I used to feel that way but since DD has been born I can't wait for him to get home every day! When it was just DS and I, DS seemed to go nuts when he got home in the evenings and on his days off. It would drive me nuts, everything got all messed up. Now I am over that I suppose and just want him here to help out. I am still having a hard time with 2.
post #51 of 96
This is a funny thread, thanks for posting. I feel the same. I love being with DH, but he just mess up our schedule.
post #52 of 96
Thread Starter 
And now we're approaching a 3 day holiday weekend. An extra day with H at home.

Is there an inverted thumb () emoticon? :
post #53 of 96
Originally Posted by mrspineau View Post
I hate it when dh goes to work. He can work from home sometimes, and I get so excited when he wakes up and announces that he is staying home. I am not sure why, I mean he's working, its not like we are hanging out or anything but I just feel happier when hes here with me. I like when hes sitting at his desk and I can make lunch and bring it up to him. It just feels nice.
Im the same way
DH alternates between working from home and out of town trips. We have a couple of daddies girls around here and DH (after 2 weeks of adjustment working from home) is an awesome muli-tasker. He does work with he baby on his lap. DD has a computer set up in there so she can go "work" with daddy. Both girls are in and out of there all day and it really takes the pressure off me. I HATE it when he is out of town.
post #54 of 96
I actually miss my partner a lot while he's gone.. our girls (all 3 of them) and I love having him around. He's the really playful one and he is usually very helpful with most of the daily tasks- picking up/making phone calls/occupying the herd/cuddling..

with that said, however, the kids and I have a pretty good routine while he's at work/school (which is most of the time). It lets me sip my coffee, nurse the baby for an hour or so, have kids pick out what they want to eat, pick up here and there, take a shower (with our seven yr old "babysitting"), get everyone dressed, do some "homework", watch a movie, do "chores", et cetera..

when my partner is home [sometimes] things seem more rushed. the kids are a little more excited (which frusterates him, which bothers me), I'm usually trying to do a lot at once, he's trying to do homework or sleep in, I don't have coffee (he brings it home during his breaks from work ) and everyone ends up in a funky mood.

but, today's been crazy so my judgements may be a bit, err, skewed.

anyway, I get both sides of it. however, I would wonder about the relationship if one seriously wants the other gone, for a while...
post #55 of 96

Right now Yes. But he's working 7days a wk 6-6 and he is cutting into our son's nap schedule i had going because the crib is in our room* small 2bdrm rental house* and the fact the kids want to bug Daddy when he's trying to sleep.

When he's working his usual 5day a wk 10hour shift, on the weekends i dread it since he thinks it's his time to drink and relax and be lazy. But most of the wk i can't wait til he gets home since the almost 5yr old is usually really testing my patience by 3:30 when he gets off work.

post #56 of 96
my dh doesn't work regular hours, he "helps out" at my parents little restaurant, so i'm never quite sure when he'll be home. he is off for sure sun. and mon. but he's often doing stuff with my stepdad those days. whenever he's not here i really miss him! you'd think that after being with the guy for 12 years, i'd welcome the chance to get away from him a bit, but no, i miss him so much it hurts sometimes! i almost feel silly for saying it, but he's told me that it's hard for him to be there and away from me/us, too. i think we both got a bit spoiled after i hurt my back and he wound up losing is job b/c of having to stay home b/c i couldn't even stand up without help, let alone take care of 4 little boys. it's been hard re-learning to do things, and it's worse trying to handle things on my own now, whenever he's gone. sometimes i feel like i can't function without him.

wow... think i'm dependent much??? i sound pathetic!
post #57 of 96
Thank goodness I am not alone.

I love spending time with my Dh, but on the weekends the schedule is crazy and the ds doesn't nap at the same time, have playtime at the same time and gets cranky.

I am glad that dh goes to work and I have 8 or so hours at home with the ds, and I am happy when dh gets home from work to give me a break.

But the hours that he is gone, I do enjoy my daily routine.
post #58 of 96
I love when my husband doesn't have to go to work, and I hate when he has to travel out of town for business. We miss him dearly, and can't wait for him to return. When he's at home he's very attentive, fun and playfull, just a good sport.
post #59 of 96
I've heard this sentiment expressed by virtually every other SAHM I know.

However, DH has been a WAHD since our firstborn was about 7 months old. Recently we toyed with the idea of him going back to an office job (primarily for the benefits) and to be honest, I was very depressed over it. Even though we're mostly doing our own thing during the day (he has a home office), his presence is a very big calming effect on me. I would miss his presence if it wasn't there.

But just in talking to people I know it appears that I'm the weirdo, not the other way around.
post #60 of 96
I am because I like getting into our routine. DS' nap doesn't get pushed back until way too late, meals are around the same time or when the kids are hungry rather than when DH feels like eating, etc. I guess it seems like, for us, the time he's home is more centered on DH and not the kids. That's okay at times, but when it's all about the errands he wants to run and doesn't take into account how long the kids can reasonably last, then it's hard. He just doesn't get what it's like to need to "schedule" things with kids.

The 1.5 weeks he took off after DS' birth was hard; he was in a terrible mood almost the whole time. I was so glad when he went back to work even though it meant juggling my difficult 3-yo and a newborn. I'm not looking forward to after this one's birth.

And the part that makes this extra hard is that he's a teacher so he has the whole summer off. He goes stir crazy, our routine is completely shot, and it takes me forever to get back into the swing of things once he goes back for the next year.
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