I miss my baby!

[sheilajolene]

Ex ran out of bm last night and he won't let me bring more to him. He said ds was up all night wanting more and he didn't have it. How do you all deal with this all the time?!? This is our first time overnight and I just can't handle it.

[MsChatsAlot]

I don't understand how any parent could deny their child something they really wanted or needed.

Sending you much peace & love.

[lah7]

I'm confused. He refused to let you bring over EBM. Did he also refuse to give your son formula? In other words, he refused to feed a hungry infant?! As much as EBM is superior to formula, not feeding the baby at all would be a serious problem according to anyone I can think of, from a social worker to a judge.

I would refuse to allow my child to go somewhere that he wouldn't be FED. We're not talking about something optional here.

[earthmama369]

You need to document his refusal to allow you to bring your child more BM after he ran out. Did he give your ds anything else or make him be hungry? If he did give him anything else, was it appropriate for his age and development? Document, document, document.

[Nature]

What?! That is NOT acceptable!! Your baby is hungry and he is refusing to allow you to give food??

[StephandOwen]

Originally Posted by sheilajolene

Ex ran out of bm last night and he won't let me bring more to him. He said ds was up all night wanting more and he didn't have it. How do you all deal with this all the time?!? This is our first time overnight and I just can't handle it.

Wait... how did you find this out? Did ex actually call you and say "hey, ds is up screaming- he has been all night. Yup, we ran out of bm. No, you cannot bring more over".

Totally unacceptable. If there is no way to stop the overnights I would pump, pump, pump like a madwoman and make sure there is as much bm being sent next time as possible.

[BelovedK]

Originally Posted by lah7

I'm confused. He refused to let you bring over EBM. Did he also refuse to give your son formula? In other words, he refused to feed a hungry infant?! As much as EBM is superior to formula, not feeding the baby at all would be a serious problem according to anyone I can think of, from a social worker to a judge.

I would refuse to allow my child to go somewhere that he wouldn't be FED. We're not talking about something optional here.

[pranamama]

be very careful, it sounds like he is intentionally trying to bait you into innappropriate behavior. Run every move through your attorney.

[peachymomma]

Sounds awful. I am sorry. I hope that baby got fed something even though formula sounds less than appetizing.

[sheilajolene]

I guess he ended up giving him water after he ran out of bm. But he said that ds was doing the sign for "nurse" in his sleep and saying "mama" and whimpering. But of course, he thinks that is just a normal thing for ds to go through during the first overnight. Unfortunately, the GAL agrees.

DS seems to be doing ok right now. I met ex and ds for lunch and we (me and ds) just got home. He freaks out when I leave the room, and starts screaming "MAMA!" I wish I'd taken tomorrow off work because I know that it will be hard for him to go to child care.

[peachymomma]

Is this baby actually old enough to be staying overnight? Has the judge ordered it? I would be looking into trying only day visits.

Oh and I don't know what a GAL is... sorry if that is some kind of judge or something.

[Zeta]

Oh, mama, I know this is just the kind of thing you have lost sleep over and done everything you could to prevent. I am so sorry for what you and ds are going through. I am glad he is back with you. I am sorry your GAL does not get it. : I know this is so painful. Hang in there.

[pentaxlady]

How sad. I'm sorry you and DS are going through this.:

[sheilajolene]

Originally Posted by peachymomma

Is this baby actually old enough to be staying overnight? Has the judge ordered it? I would be looking into trying only day visits.

Oh and I don't know what a GAL is... sorry if that is some kind of judge or something.

This is court-ordered. He is 15 months and has never been away from me more than a work day (8 hours or so). Dad lives on the other side of the country and comes every couple of months. Our judge is a nightmare.

[littleaugustbaby]

I'm so glad your baby is home with you. Is there any way you could call in sick tomorrow?

[RoadWorkAhead]

I'd find out how much water....Water can be very dangerous in children that age in large quantities....You want to balance their electrolytes and water can become an issue quickly when there isn't sufficient other electrolytes to balance it out. Just a thought. Granted, we have special issues with DD< but more than 4-6 ounces of water, and we do pedialyte

[mama41]

Initially I thought "talk to your lawyer," but I think you'll have a tough time with this one. The peds encourage mothers to bf to 6mo-1yr, so under that, I can see finding legal support. However, there's no legal support for extended bf.

15 months does, however, sound very young for overnights. I would start tracking the behavior with your pediatrician, and if your baby still finds it disruptive after a couple of months, I'd file for a temporary change to delay overnights to 2 years, with either the ped as witness or with an affidavit from the ped, if allowed. Most judges will not start compulsory overnights until 2 years.

Your ex should not be denying a 15-month-old food, though. Give him a list of foods that are acceptable and unacceptable for a child that age, making special note of foods that are choking hazards. Ignore him if he gets upset at being treated like an idiot. Give him the list and warn him that if he denies the baby food, you'll take legal action. If he wakes up hungry, he should be fed.

[WatermelonSnow]

Originally Posted by pranamama

be very careful, it sounds like he is intentionally trying to bait you into innappropriate behavior. Run every move through your attorney.

This is wise advice.

[sheilajolene]

Originally Posted by mama41

Initially I thought "talk to your lawyer," but I think you'll have a tough time with this one. The peds encourage mothers to bf to 6mo-1yr, so under that, I can see finding legal support. However, there's no legal support for extended bf.

15 months does, however, sound very young for overnights. I would start tracking the behavior with your pediatrician, and if your baby still finds it disruptive after a couple of months, I'd file for a temporary change to delay overnights to 2 years, with either the ped as witness or with an affidavit from the ped, if allowed. Most judges will not start compulsory overnights until 2 years.

Your ex should not be denying a 15-month-old food, though. Give him a list of foods that are acceptable and unacceptable for a child that age, making special note of foods that are choking hazards. Ignore him if he gets upset at being treated like an idiot. Give him the list and warn him that if he denies the baby food, you'll take legal action. If he wakes up hungry, he should be fed.

My ped told the GAL that ds would be fine being away from me (across country) for two weeks per month. He was completely 100% behind me until the day ds turned one, and now he sees no problem with extended overnights. I am seeing our new ped this week. He sounds much better about these issues.

[Fishie Kisses]

I am sick to my stomach reading this thread!!! It breaks my heart when I can't get to DS fast enough to feed him...just the thought of someone giving him WATER makes me ill

I flat out refuse to send my son across the country (dad is in TX, I'm in CA) before he's like 5!! They can throw me in jail if they have to!