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Who is right?

Poll Results: Should the dog poop have been cleaned before returning the shoes?

 
  • 84% (75)
    House B should have cleaned the shoes before returning them.
  • 12% (11)
    House A should have cleaned the shoes without complaint when they were returned.
  • 3% (3)
    Obligatory other...
89 Total Votes  
post #1 of 46
Thread Starter 
I've been thinking of a question to post about for several days now and I'd like an unbiased opinion, so I'll try to write this as neutrally as I can...

Child is at House A. Child puts on new sneakers from House A and goes to school. Somewhere between going to school, going to afterschool program and going to House B, child steps in big clumps of dog poop with both shoes. Child arrives at House B with dog poop shoes. House B sends dog poop shoes back to House A in plastic bag with dog poop still on the bottoms. House A is upset that shoes are sent back with dog poop on the bottoms and thinks they should have been cleaned off before being sent back. Who is right? (Side note- both houses use their own clothes at their own houses and both houses clean any clothes from the other house before sending it back.)
post #2 of 46
House A is right.


Eew.
post #3 of 46
If I were House B, I would've cleaned off the poop. Do unto others...
post #4 of 46
Gross.

Shoes should have been cleaned.
post #5 of 46
I voted that B should have cleaned them... I mean, really, no one wants to be the one to clean dog poop off the bottom of a shoe. But someone has to, so I guess I just went with the theory that whoever discovered the poop should be the one to clean it. And it sounds like the general etiquette with clothing in your situation is that you send it home clean.

Certainly I can think of some circumstances in which I wouldn't clean the shoes. If the poop was so thouroughly smeared and smooshed into the fabric of the shoes so that no amount of cleaning was going to get it off, I might return the shoes to House A with the shoes in a plastic bag saying "These were totally destroyed by dog poop at school, and if they were mine I would have just thrown them away... but since they aren't, I didn't feel right making the decision to just trash them. I'm happy to throw them away now rather than sending them back to you if you'd like, but I want you to make the call."
post #6 of 46
I voted House A should clean assuming that Child lives at House A and that House B is not a parent or other family member. If A is mom and B is dad, then B should have cleaned the shoes.

If I were A, I wouldn't mind if B didn't clean them. I draw the line at cleaning poop off shoes and simply throw them away. Wasteful and ridiculous, I know, but I've got a major thing about dog poopy shoes.
post #7 of 46
I think it depends on what the shoes looked like. Is a quick clap and rubbing in the grass going to fix the problem? Is it going to take several washings and a toothpick or a butterknife to get all the poop out?
Were the shoes kind of cleaned off, or no attempt was made?

Because to my mind, it makes a big difference. I'm not going to take a butterknife to someone else's kids shoes. But I will try and clap the poop out and rub them in the grass or shoot them with a hose, you know? Because, really, especially if the kid tracked that dog poop TO my house, I don't precisely feel I should make those poopy shoes pristine before sending them back. What were the circumstances with the kid showing up at House B with poopy shoes? Did House B go and pick him up, or did he walk straight there after school? He didn't stop off at House A? Right? Because if he DID, I wouldn't feel ANY obligation to clean off those shoes at ALL. And I'd think it was pretty crappy that someone let their kid track dog crap to my house and then expected me to clean them up. I'd think that's --no pun intended-- pretty crappy and disrespectful.

So like I said, it totally depends on the circumstances, how much poop, how much work it would have taken to get them clean, etc.

And depending on how old the kid was, I'd probably make the kid clean out the poop. I'd at least make him help out. He's the one that stepped in it. And with both shoes, it kind of sounds to me like the kid didn't accidentally step in the dog poop. It sounds like he deliberately stepped in the poop, and that kind of bugs me, too. Unless the kid was wading through it, and it was like, a huge huge pile-- you can't get that much poo on BOTH shoes... and if it was a huge huge pile, I"m sure the kid would have been able to notice it first, and thus have the option of avoiding said dog poop.

So that would also play a part in my decision.
post #8 of 46
If I were house B I would really, really want to send the shoes back in a baggie. Gross. But I would probably try to clean them off.
post #9 of 46
I'm confused...

Who's child is it, House A's or House B's? Was the Child from House A visiting House B, then coming home? Or is it a joint custody thing, where one parent lives in House A and the other in House B? Or another option?
post #10 of 46
I don't think it matters. I wouldn't have minded it either way, whether I was a house A or a house B.

I think kids in blended families have enough stress to have to deal with adults who get cranky about stinky shoes. That's just my thoughts.
post #11 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oriole View Post
I think kids in blended families have enogh stress to have to deal with adults who get cranky about stinky shoes. That's just my thoughts.
D'oh! I see now...I didn't realize this was in Blended Families.

Okay, now I can vote. If House B didn't make any effort to clean off the shoes, then that's just messed up. When you "share" a kid (for lack of a better term, I'm not trying to objectify the kids in this situation), you share the gross stuff too. To make no effort to clean the shoes, if this is the case, is petty and immature. And gross.
post #12 of 46
Whoever noticed the problem should deal with the problem. But isn't something I would make a "stink" out of.
post #13 of 46
And then, it depends on when the adult in House B found out about it. If the kid doesn't walk around in shoes in the house, House B Adult may not have known until getting ready to leave back to House A.

This is so not a hill to die on. And if the child is the 12 or 7yo - both are really old enough to take a hose to their own shoes. So it should never even get to an issue between parents.
post #14 of 46
I voted that House A should clean them, but really, the child should clean them (with help as necessary) at whichever house they end up.
post #15 of 46
Erm...y'all know I like to hang onto things, and I'm all for Hillary staying in the race all the way to the convention. But I think this particular issue is one to let go.

Maybe throw away the shoes, too. They're bound to reek from being bagged up with poop.
post #16 of 46
personally, I throw away shoes that won't come clean with a quick spray from the hose or a little tiny bit of toothpicking. I buy them all anyways.
post #17 of 46
the shoes should have been cleaned before they were returned
post #18 of 46
Thread Starter 
What if the bottom of the shoes literally still had chunks on them (no attempt to scape them on the grass was made), nothing was said, so if House A hadn't smelled it, House A wouldn't have know, the child is an unusually oblivious 7 years old who doesn't pay attention to where she walks (someone mentioned that they thought the child stepped in dog poop on purpose) and House A does not have the money to just go buy new shoes?
post #19 of 46
Then oblivious 7yo child should be made to clean her shoes at house A. Acquaint her with a hose. If needed, have her stand them in an inch of water to get everything loose and easily rinsed. And then show her how to throw them in the washer and run it.

I certainly wouldn't buy new shoes every blessed time one of us accidentally stepped in dog poo.
post #20 of 46
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mtiger View Post
Then oblivious 7yo child should be made to clean her shoes at house A. Acquaint her with a hose. If needed, have her stand them in an inch of water to get everything loose and easily rinsed. And then show her how to throw them in the washer and run it.

I certainly wouldn't buy new shoes every blessed time one of us accidentally stepped in dog poo.
I'm not sure I get what your saying. Why would it be obvious that the child needs to clean them at House A?
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