Vent: I just keep nodding...

[quietserena]

I was sitting next to a friend at a party tonight and she was telling me how she didn't really want to come because she's been coughing but someone talked her into it. She told me how she's got both food and seasonal allergies and her two year old son does as well. She listed quite a list of allergy medications that both of them are on.

I asked whether she's avoiding her allergens in food and if that's helping and she just cut me off with: "I can't live without wheat! No one can do that!" I mention how I've gone gluten free and actually it's not that hard but she just shakes her head and keeps talking about her allergy meds.

So I just keep nodding. I wonder about the state of her gut and her boy's gut. I wonder how long she can be on the allergy meds before her body starts to fight in other ways. I wonder a lot of stuff while I nod.

It was a hard party to go to for me. All people I know, but all doing things that I would never do. I watched a 4 month old get a bottle of formula (as I BFd my dd). I watched a pregnant girl talk about how she had nothing but spaghetti noodles for three weeks and how she just can't eat vegetables. And I nodded a lot...

I slipped out as soon as DD started to get fussy.

[Chakra]

LOL I totally know how you feel! We had a block party yesterday and all it was was cookies, hot dogs and soda. I saw other preggy girls eating hot dogs and 1 year olds chugging soda! I really had to bite my tounge! We didnt eat a thing not even my kids and went home and made a health organic meal.

There is NO use in talking to someone like your friend about stuff like that. I have some friends and I dont even go there. I just let them talk about how they pump their kids full of antibiotics every other month and how they cant live w/o diet soda and frozen dinners. Grossssssssss

[spring978]

I totally understand we went to a BQ and everyone kept looking at me weird because I didnt give DS2 a hotdog, my friend was amazed that at 22 months he had never had a dotdog.

Then someone fed him no bake cheesecake coolwhip sugar and cream cheese.

[cristeen]

I've had similar conversations with coworkers... I have one right now who is out on medical because she broke her foot, but because of gut issues the pain meds they put her on messed her up something bad. Come to find out she has bleeding ulcers as well as psoriasis. All indications that she's eating something that doesn't agree with her. But even the suggestion of eating food that hasn't been highly processed gets shot down or ignored.

Of course this is the same woman who I have to ask to see a recipe for the food she brings to a potluck before I'll touch it... she cooks with margarine, non-fat sour cream, cool whip, etc.

[mrsbernstein]

Ugh.

I completely understand.

Not in the same line as your friend, but we have VERY GOOD friends who have lost quite a bit of weight on Atkins. When we take dinner to their house, we always bring the meat and they provide the side.

Almost (but not every) time we take meat, it's from a farmer-friend and is organic, yada yada

We were talking after supper one night about the organic, free-range pork/beef sausages we had just had. Somehow, the price come up. Yes, you can imagine. Our "Buy It at the SM when it's on SUPERSALE" friends about fell out of their chair.

My husband tried explaining why we beleive that hormone/antibiotic/free-range meat is soooooooooooooo important...all we got was this:

Mrs Bernstein

[Bensmommy]

Unfortunately, her "allergy" symptoms will probably turn into full blown autoimmune issues after a while if she is truly "wheat intolerant". If only she'd be open to trying new things...

[tanyalynn]

I try to remind myself that each person has their own path to follow. If, 10 years ago, someone had told me that my allergies and depression and other weird stuff were related to nutrition and my fillings, I would've thought they were nuts. And even if I believed them and made some changes, I wouldn't have _really_ seen what happens when you are not careful with your health (because that took another 10 years to manifest itself), so I wouldn't have made as many changes. Maybe a few changes early on would've just been a band-aid on the situation, and I wouldn't have kept looking for answers. So maybe their path will take them to a point where their answers become clear to them. Yeah, it's a pretty rose-tinted view, not very realistic for the most part, but not knowing which case is which (I wouldn't have pegged myself as someone seriously interested in health stuff even 5 years ago), I err on the side of hoping/expecting they'll figure it out on their own later on. It keeps my sanity, anyway.

[damona]

oh yes, i know people like that. *ahem* dh*ahem* he's got serious gut issues but doesn't want to give up what he loves to eat. i go shopping and i buy gluten and dairy free, organic, free range, healthy whatever and he goes shopping and comes home with chips and ice cream and candy... and then complains that his stomach hurts and he's too fat.

i have friends whose kids live on fast food and soda... it makes me sad. i love a bacon cheeseburger as much as anybody (any meat eater!) but not every night! these are the same friends who are shocked when my kids eat broccoli or green beans. not only do they eat them, they ask for them!

[thedomesticdiva]

Thank GOD for MDC - At least we have each other

It brings to mind a scene from the animated movie Madagascar:
SMILE AND WAVE BOYS - JUST SMILE AND WAVE

I constantly tell myself "I am only responsible for feeding my own family." I wish I could tell others. I usually put it out there, but when I see their eyes glaze over, I walk away...

Sara

[quietserena]

Aww you guys.

My hope is that whenever people are ready to make changes that they remember my comments.

[Attached Mama]

Ah... the joys of being different!! Yes, as a pp said, thank goodness for MDC!

[tanyalynn]

My hope is that whenever people are ready to make changes that they remember my comments.

There are several people, over the years, whose initial comments seemed a bit, ah, atypical (not to say nutty), but they prompted a bit of thought and reading, and now I'm the nutty one! It works, most of the time it's just so distant in time that it's impossible to say wow, thanks! You helped change my life.

[Junegoddess]

Just want to chime in with "hear hear!"

I have suspected that I was allergic to wheat and dairy for a long, long, long time. But it always seemed to hard to give it up for any length of time.

Finally my body had to resort to desperate measures... a super-itchy full-body rash will grab my attention any day! Especially when it lasts for weeks.

Now I actually have nightmares about accidentally eating my allergen foods. I don't have any problem whatsoever with no "getting to have" gluten and dairy. Took me a while to get to this point. The addiction was real and strong. (First addiction I've had, luckily, and gives me an interesting perspective on other ones like tobacco or alcohol.)

I think my dh is addicted to gluten and dairy, but he won't even begin to entertain the notion. We don't fight about anything (he lets me have my way 99% of the time) but he will NOT let me have the last word if I'm saying he's addicted to cheese. He just can't stand it. Which I think it even more proof that I'm right.

[Pookietooth]

People only hear what they're ready to hear. But it never hurts to mention how it's made your life better...

[dannic]

taking the high road can be a lonely road, lol. I totally understand...I think I'm normal until I'm with normal people.

[Bekka]

My sis is totally mainstream and last year took her kids to McD and then she and her dh watched Supersize Me and all the interviews afterward. The next day she called me and said, "how can I find happy chickens, happy beef?"

She hasn't "done" McD for over a year, and found a place to get happy chickens and beef, and she feels great about it. I NEVER would have thought I would have that discussion. NEVER. NEVER.

But she had to call me.

[WeasleyMum]

Originally Posted by dannic

taking the high road can be a lonely road, lol. I totally understand...I think I'm normal until I'm with normal people.

Really, though, what's "normal"? Who's to say that they are, and you aren't? Who defines the standard? Is it the diet of the last five years? The last 50? The last hundred? Or thousand? Maybe none of us could be described as "normal", or maybe there is just no such thing.

[Leilalu]

I have so many friends like this. And I am always the odd duck out, and set up on a pedestal as if to say "oh, that's just Leila".

As if it is unattainable. Always excuses like money, time, feeling overwhelmed, etc.

But I try to smile and nod. When it comes down to it, they know how I feel about it all. And I do luckily have a few friends who are smart enough to be open-minded and like to research things out. I feel like I am slowly plugging away at making a difference.