Originally Posted by Kirsten
This was in reference to my bringing up extended nursing, family bed, anti vax. I brought those up as examples of things that are often considered positive on MDC but mainstream parents may call them neglectful or even abusive. They could find articles to support those claims. We could find other articles to support our side.
Your sister or best friend comes to you with articles or books or her deeply held belief that extended nursing or family bed is akin to sexual abuse. She begs you to stop. She can't look at you the same anymore. She cuts ties with you as she just can't stand by while you hurt your child. You strongly disagree but she won't budge. How is that different from someone cutting their sister or best friend out of their life for circing?
I happen to agree with you that circing is wrong. I just don't think cutting ties serves any purpose. What does it solve? How does it improve the circ/intact percentages? When your nephew comes to you as an adult, wanting to know where you were when he was playing his first tee ball game, when he had the lead in the school play, the night he graduated - what is the answer? Your parents had you circed, so I cut your family out of my life? There are moms here on MDC who circed and deeply regret it. Do they deserve to keep their friends and family?
I didn't baptize my kids. My MIL is a STAUNCH Catholic. She prays every day that we'll fix this error. She believes their eternal souls are in jeopardy. There have been discussions about it over the years. But she didn't cut us out of her life.
If it is just some woman who goes to your grocery store, whatever. But if it is your sister, your dear friend, someone close to you? Continuing a relationship doesn't mean you agree that circing their son is ok. It means caring enough about that person to forgive them their mistakes, even if they don't yet realize it was one.
Again, the parenting choices you spoke about, even baptism are choices (and some will value the importance of those choices more then others) but circumcision is different, it is a human rights violation, in many of the same ways female circumcision is.
Its not that I would want to cut ties with these people, but I would be so disgusted by them that, even if I tried, I would not be able to hang out with them, be close to them, or open up to them anymore.
I do agree with you though. I would try to stay connected as much as I could, I wouldn't want to deprive a child of another supportive family member because his parents made a stupid decision. I would still stay in their lives, and be there to connect to their son. But when it comes to the friendship with that family member, I would just be going through the motions, to me, my interactions with them would be empty.