So Sick of the Comments Regarding My Plan to Have an Unmedicated Birth... - Page 2

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by holothuroidea

Okies. It sounded really sarcastic to me, mostly because I probably would have said it sarcastically.

Put in more and when you read it, and think cheerful babbling that's too fast for the other person to get a word in edgewise.

more like:
"Awwww, sweetie! I'm so sorry you're scared of birth , butthatreallyisn'tmyproblem, andIdon'tneedyournegativeenergyrightnow, solet's talkaboutsomethingelse, 'kay? Read any good books lately?"

Ooops forgot to put the "'kay?" in there before.

Also, if it's another pregnant woman who's having fears, I'd do more of a "you seem very frightened of birth, want to talk about it?"

[NormaJean13]

Originally Posted by holothuroidea

I just tell people that I am more afraid of the drugs than I am of the pain.

I love that, I'm definitely gonna have to steal it.

I'm more sick of the looks I get when I tell people I'd like to try it naturally (this is my first). Like I'm crazy, or 'aw, isn't that sweet, you'll change your mind'. I'm used to comments, they started when I stopped eating meat. Most of the time I don't even bother talking about it, it's not worth the frustration.

[diamond lil]

Thanks for all the support. The thing is, I would never belittle someone who chose an epidural, so I get irked when some people in my life think it's OK to criticize my decision. Everybody's birth is different.

[Astoria]

I actually *am* more scared of the drugs than the pain. In my first delivery I needed a c-section (long long long story) and so after much (think days) of natural labor I got a spinal in preparation for the surgery.

It numbed me above my waist (its not supposed to) and I started telling the staff that I was having difficulty breathing. They said, "it just feels like that but as long as you can move your fingers, you actually are breathing." We'll after another minute or two, I couldn't move my fingers, I tried to scream but was suffocating from no oxygen, then I passed out. When I woke up many hours later, I thought I had died, and was surprised to wake up (that's how it felt to me, taking a last breath, not being able to take another). It turns out they had to immediately put a tube down my throat and put me on a ventilator and then put me under general anesthesia so I wouldn't wake up with a tube down my throat and freak out.

Long and short, baby was fine, 9 apgars, I met him at 9 hours old after they had bathed him and given him a bottle . I however, had nightmares for over a year. Natural labor was intense but great, moving, transformative. A spinal turned out to be terrifying. I would never voluntarily have one.

So when people say I'm more afraid of the drugs than the labor, that is totally the truth for me. Totally.

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by Astoria

So when people say I'm more afraid of the drugs than the labor, that is totally the truth for me. Totally.

Thanks to stories like yours I am too. I'd much rather have "it hurt so bad I thought I was going to die!" than "the drugs nearly killed me". I think a choice between possible death and possible pain is pretty easy, but some people like gambling more than I do.

[Shonahsmom]

Not in the DDC (nor am I currently pregnant) but I got a lot of those comments when I was pregnant too (including from ex-dp). I feel that they made me stronger in my resolve. I stopped at some point telling people I was "planning" on a drug free birth. I started saying, "I will have a drug free birth." It served as an affirmation. When I went in to labor, in my mind, drugs were not an option. I never once asked or even considered it. So, let the comments serve as an opportunity for you to affirm your position to yourself, regardless of what others think or say.

[mommytomahmoud]

with my first i was soo gun hoe about going natural and i did a good job i made it to 8cm before my midwife yes my midwife order the epi without my permission then told my husband that she needs this to help her relax and this is good for her and soo i had my husband midwife and nurses all telling me the baby needs this epi ur body is stressing u need to relax

not knowing any better thinking my baby was in trouble i got it worse mistake ever OMG the pain from the epi was enough to kill u i mean come on that darn needle hurt and i have noo problem with needles at all but i started crying begging for them to hurry up and end it i was in soo much pain from the epi never ever again

ohh yeah and i ended up with a c section thank u bad midwife and epi for that one

this baby hell yes iam going natural i got my doula and i also got everything ready for a vbac iam totally prepared kinda for my vbac first up is ur body is meant to labor without drugs and if u keep ur body moving during labor u will do fine at least that is my goal lol

[holothuroidea]

Originally Posted by Astoria

So when people say I'm more afraid of the drugs than the labor, that is totally the truth for me. Totally.

Unfortunately, you never hear about stories like this when you're in the hospital and everyone's shoving the pain relief in your face.

I really am afraid of the drugs too, although for different reasons. But they are just so embedded in our culture. If something is "wrong" it must be "fixed." Nobody suffers through a headache anymore, nobody sweats out a cold anymore. Even naturalists take herbs and homeopathic medicine for everything. Y'know...

Anyway, please show me the crazy person who decided that it's totally cool to put catheters in everyone's spine so that they don't feel the pain that is necessary for them to give birth? WHY is this considered normal and OK???

That's just my perspective. Thanks for listening.

[Surfer Rosa]

I don't know why people are such naysayers. I think they feel they're being judged for their choices (whether it's getting an epidural, sceduling a c-section, etc.).
When I was pregnant the first time, people were always telling me how awful x, y, z was going to be, and that I'd change my mind...and you know, I didn't change my mind. I had the unmedicated birth I wanted. I went home 3 hours after delivery, and went on to BF my babe for almost 2 years, and raised her vegetarian, vax-free, and in cloth dipes til she potty trained, etc, etc.
It sounds like you're doing what you need to do to prepare for the birth you want. Don't let the neg-vibers get you down. I just learned to smile and say, Well, we'll see. I'm pretty determined to do x, y, z." People that know me well know I'm stubborn and won't change my mind once it's set!
I find even this time around, people are like "So, are you going to have another freaky all natural birth, you big granopla eating hippie?" so vent away! I feel your pain.

[holothuroidea]

Originally Posted by fridgeart

"So, are you going to have another freaky all natural birth, you big granopla eating hippie?"

I have no idea why I thought "granopla" was so hilarious, but boy was it!!

Best typo ever. I was really confused at first, and was trying to imagine what on earth granopla might be...

[Naomi'sMommy]

Epi drugs can be found in the BABY'S brain 6 weeks, yes 6 WEEKS, after birth.

More afraid of that than of a "natural" birth.

Like others said, I don't want a drugged up babe.

[Ligeia]

(Lurking from the July ddc) When I was pregnant last time, the worst comment I got was from this acquaintance (a customer I see a lot at work). He asked me about my birth and when I told him it was going to be a natural homebirth he said "you won't be able to make it, you better make a backup plan now because I know you won't be able to handle the pain. My wife was a marathon runner and she couldn't do it without an epidural." I was so mad! I just told him "women have been doing this for thousands of years at home and my body is built to know exactly what it is doing." He gave me a comment like well we'll see who's right after the fact, I know you'll regret your decision. It felt so good seeing him after my daughter was born and telling him all about my perfect homebirth experience.

[robertandenith]

Originally Posted by Ligeia

(Lurking from the July ddc) When I was pregnant last time, the worst comment I got was from this acquaintance (a customer I see a lot at work). He asked me about my birth and when I told him it was going to be a natural homebirth he said "you won't be able to make it, you better make a backup plan now because I know you won't be able to handle the pain. My wife was a marathon runner and she couldn't do it without an epidural." I was so mad! I just told him "women have been doing this for thousands of years at home and my body is built to know exactly what it is doing." He gave me a comment like well we'll see who's right after the fact, I know you'll regret your decision. It felt so good seeing him after my daughter was born and telling him all about my perfect homebirth experience.

ha! I love stories like that!

[muppet729]

I couldn't believe the number of comments I got for my 2nd birth after having an awful time with the epi (long, long story) and lots of bad (not tragic, just bad) things happening to me and baby. People were STILL telling me that I couldn't do it natural, but like some of the pp's, I was more afraid of the drugs than the pain. I would tell my story about my first and that usually shut them up.

I made it through dd2's birth and it was awesome (although, yes, very painful at times and at times I thought I wouldn't make it, but I was truly opposed to drugs).

Now, people don't say anythign, they just assume that I won't have drugs Of course, I'm also the wierdo who nurses for so long and tandems and all that

[UnassistedMomma]

Another lurker here!

My first DS was born when I was 19, and the nurse on duty with me was really pushing me hard the entire labor to have an epidural. She kept telling me in a really condescending tone of voice that, "No one gets through this without one", and really looking down her nose at me. This was with me repeating over and over firmly that I was NOT having the epi.

Well, I'm stubborn, and so when she said that, it just made me all the more determined. She doesn't know it, but her words have rung in my ears for the last 18 years, and I have NOT had an epi yet with 4 births (2 of which were very difficult). I don't know what her intention was, but her words all those years ago have actually helped me to have the births that I've wanted! I almost wish I could find her and share that with her!