Originally Posted by cj'smommy
Thank you so much, you don't know how much your words mean to me.
I'm trying really, really hard not to get too anxious about it, but it's hard.
I keep hearing "Well at least you know he'll be in the NICU, so it's not a surprise." I can understand that, and I can't imagine how hard it must be not to expect it and have your baby whisked away without warning. On the other hand, knowing that as soon as he's born he'll be taken away and possibly transfered hasn't been easy either. I've known since January that it's going to happen and that one thing that is weighing heavy on my heart.
to everyone. I need to go back and read everyone's stories....
I have found when in the midst of a tragedy, to be wary of any phrase that begins with "At least...." It is usually followed by an insensitive statement that is supposed to instantly make you feel better and jump for joy. Then followed by a remark that lets you know they are offended by your inability to suddenly realize you have been looking at the situation ALL wrong.
My favorite (and I heard this ALL the time) was when my son was diagnosed with Type 1. "Well, AT LEAST it's not cancer."
Cj'smommy ... hang in there. It's true that it's not a surprise, but that doesn't mean it will be less painful for you. Only that you were forewarned. I am trying to think of a situation when the pain was lessoned by knowing beforehand.
Let's see, "I'm going to punch you in the face." Nope, still hurts.
"On the 3rd day of September, you will have a splitting migraine, that will make you throw up and see stars." Still, hurts although I was able to have my trash can ready.
Sooooo stupid!! It would only lessen the pain if you could do something to avoid it! Like move out of the way, or change the outcome. The pain is not alleviated simply by *knowing.*
I think sensitivity 101 should be a mandatory class.