oh vanessa, I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. It's so frustrating and scary when doc's try and use scare tactics. When i became pg fith DS, we went back to my first ob who I loved during my first pregnancy, and he turned so nasty to me and DH when we were at our 12w prenatal that for the next 6 weeks, I freaked out completely. At one of our appt's, he turned to us on the way outt (not even in the room) and said "you know, your baby could be born "d" "e" "a" "d"... I couldn't believe he did that to me. I was totally a wreck. I didn't want to see him ever again. Before switching, I put together the most comprehensive list of questions (after doing loads of research 24/7), and went for my 18w appt. with my notebook. He happened to have a resident at the visit, which made my doc a bit skittish with all my pressing q's. He floundered and flapped around like a fish out of water. I got him. and it felt so good.
I drove away from his office, and immediately into the office of a mw practice (at a small hospital). I pulled out the same notebook and asked all the same q's. The questions, btw, were presented with a neutral tone so as not to sway any answers. I got answers that were 180º from my old o.b. I switched that day to this amazing place.
It sickens me to hear this goes on all over the place. They shouldn't be in the field. Is it for the $? Is it for the legal reasons? Is it the boost they get from cutting? is it a control thing? oh it's just awful.
And how can another doctor tell you what is safer for YOU without even knowing you or your situation?
If you trust mother nature, and be as informed as you can, you'll have all the knowledge, confidence, and trust in yourself and your partner to make the right decisions along the way and during labor and birth. If it ends in another c, at least you'll know that you were aware, informed, and in control. And that the decision was yours, not someone watching the clock or their wallet.
In the meantime, I wish there was a way we could report the names of all these awful scare-tactic-using doctors on a site... ugh!