I'm uninvited to my niece's b-day party 'cause I refused to cover up. - Page 5

[Teyu]

Originally Posted by puddle

Dear BIL,

I am so very sorry that I offended you by nursing my baby in your home. I was not aware of the impact that my actions would have on those around me, and I am deeply sorry. I truly did not mean to confuse your daughter about the purpose of her own breasts, and I would like to repair the damage I caused. For her birthday, would you prefer that I give her boobie tassels or a Hooters t-shirt? I can't decide which is more appropriate and would appreciate your input.

I am also in need of some parenting advice. I keep trying to explain to my son that he needs to hide when he eats, but he just can't seem to get it. I've told him over and over again that the world doesn't revolve around him and that it makes people really uncomfortable when he eats, but he just doesn't seem to care. I can't seem to get it through to him why the comfort level of grown-ups is more important than his comfort when he eats. Do you have any suggestions about how to make him understand?

There is one last thing I wanted to bring up. I'm so glad that you finally cleared the air, because there's something that I've been wanting to discuss for a long time, but I wasn't sure quite how to approach the subject. This is a little embarrassing, but the truth is that I sort of have an ear fetish. I know it sounds weird, but DH and I are really into ears and we involve them a lot in our foreplay. Whenever I see all those ears just hanging out in the open in your house, it makes me kind of uncomfortable. In our house, ears are really sexual. Would you mind having the guests at the party cover their ears so that it won't be so awkward for me there? I know lots of times they're mostly covered up by hair, but I really would prefer not to see ANY trace of ears at all. I'm sure you understand.

Anyway, thanks so much for alerting me to these issues and opening up the lines of communication between us. Looking forward to hearing from you soon!

Thanks,
Your SIL

you win

[honeybunch2k8]

Originally Posted by puddle

Dear BIL,

I am so very sorry that I offended you by nursing my baby in your home. I was not aware of the impact that my actions would have on those around me, and I am deeply sorry. I truly did not mean to confuse your daughter about the purpose of her own breasts, and I would like to repair the damage I caused. For her birthday, would you prefer that I give her boobie tassels or a Hooters t-shirt? I can't decide which is more appropriate and would appreciate your input.

I am also in need of some parenting advice. I keep trying to explain to my son that he needs to hide when he eats, but he just can't seem to get it. I've told him over and over again that the world doesn't revolve around him and that it makes people really uncomfortable when he eats, but he just doesn't seem to care. I can't seem to get it through to him why the comfort level of grown-ups is more important than his comfort when he eats. Do you have any suggestions about how to make him understand?

There is one last thing I wanted to bring up. I'm so glad that you finally cleared the air, because there's something that I've been wanting to discuss for a long time, but I wasn't sure quite how to approach the subject. This is a little embarrassing, but the truth is that I sort of have an ear fetish. I know it sounds weird, but DH and I are really into ears and we involve them a lot in our foreplay. Whenever I see all those ears just hanging out in the open in your house, it makes me kind of uncomfortable. In our house, ears are really sexual. Would you mind having the guests at the party cover their ears so that it won't be so awkward for me there? I know lots of times they're mostly covered up by hair, but I really would prefer not to see ANY trace of ears at all. I'm sure you understand.

Anyway, thanks so much for alerting me to these issues and opening up the lines of communication between us. Looking forward to hearing from you soon!

Thanks,
Your SIL

:

Can I print that? I may need it in the future.

[LionessMom]

i beleive that nipples etc should be covered at all times by wearing a shirt and bra or something comparable. i have modesty. i dont fling my boobs out in public and purposely squirt people with milk (accidentally got DH once though). if my baby wants to eat i will live up my shirt (or flip dpwn flaps) and let her nurse. if she comes off i cover my nipple back up. i feel that those parts are for me to see not my family. however i don't put a blanket over DD's head or cover her with a sling (she hates it). i have found it neccessary to go to a spare room (DD was being distractable). i have only been told by one or two people that they are uncomfortable. one was my SIL who told me her 16 yr old son didnt need to see that because i dont cover up (ie no blanket on her head). the other was DH's friend and we quit going over there. i totally understand the hurt you feel. unfortunately we can not change other's opinions by snarky remarks (although they make me laugh ). I wish you the best of luck with your BIL. I still haven't figured out how to change mt SIL.

ps. i do like puddle's letter too! very well worded!

[APmomto3boys]

Originally Posted by Meredith&Alexander

If you want to go the crass route...

If nursing in public is the same as having sex in public, then bottle feeding in public is the same as using a dildo.

ha ha

[elizaMM]

see update

OP here: I posted an update with the subject UPDATE: Breastfeeding at my niece's birthday party.:

[Tofu the Geek]

Originally Posted by elizaMM

OP here: I posted an update with the subject UPDATE: Breastfeeding at my niece's birthday party.:

When you do an update, you can just edit your original post and add the info there, or edit the original post title and say "update in post # <blah>, then we don't have to go and search for your update like we do now.

[elizaMM]

Originally Posted by TechnoGranola

When you do an update, you can just edit your original post and add the info there, or edit the original post title and say "update in post # <blah>, then we don't have to go and search for your update like we do now.

Thank you! I didn't know. I will in the future. I wonder if there is an easy way to fix my mess now...

[Tofu the Geek]

Originally Posted by elizaMM

Thank you! I didn't know. I will in the future. I wonder if there is an easy way to fix my mess now...

What I would do is edit your original post and paste in the link for your update. So, at the bottom right of your original post, click the "Edit" button. If you want to edit the subject as well as the text, you will now need to click "Advanced" which gives your more editing power. Add text to the bottom of your post something like "Update: <paste link in to thread with update" and then anyone reading the original thread will know where to go to find the update!

Another way is to send a personal message to the moderator for this forum and ask them to merge the 2 threads (and then you can edit your first to say which post # the update is in). The mods will be listed at the bottom right of this page http://www.mothering.com/discussions...splay.php?f=25

And don't worry about "making a mess"! It's not actually a big deal, the main reason you want to keep it together is so YOU get more input on your thread! The easier you make it for people, the better chance they'll read and respond!