Oh my gosh, I am so sorry.
May peace and love surround you at this time.
If you click on the link in my siggy it has a great website for survivors of suicide.
When you are ready support groups can be a good thing, my friend just lost her father to suicide on April 22nd and says her support group she has gone to has helped her. Also, another book that has helped her is here, its free and you can read it online or print it off