Uh, are you going to be birthing w/these people? I would highly encourage you to find someone else. This situation is not beneficial to you at all and, actually, I find it potentially very harmful whether it be emotionally or physically. Birthing is an extremely vulnerable time - you don't want intolerant or abusive people with you do you? Do not do NOT sweep your feelings under the rug. Stand up for yourself.
I'm on my 4th pregnancy too and I've never seen a dr. Never. I think my past mws have run some plain blood tests but that's it. I have never had anything more complicated than the initial blood draw done. With this pregnancy I saw the mw (who I like very very much) 2 times and finally told her I felt my appts. were unnecessary and I wanted to uc. She totally understood and said she used her prenatal appts. to get to know the mom/couple for the most part and she saw no reason why I shouldn't do my own thing
I call her when I feel the need and we mostly talk about practical things - like supplies and how to handle different birthing complications. I don't pee on anything or get my bp done and I certainly don't get weighed. Prenatal care is not as complicated as you think and there's a lot of unnecessary, even harmful, tests that drs. recommend. Relax. Take responsibility which, to me, means eating well, exercising, preparing for the birth however you feel led. Don't apologize or feel irresponsible b/c you don't want to do x,y, or z for your prenatal care. You know what you need
I used to love my mw appts. I liked to visit
I think I tolerated all the bp, measuring, etc. just so I could go and chat about being pregnant and having a baby. I didn't stop going to the mw b/c I don't think she's great - she actually means alot to me the way she's supporting me right now. She's supporting me in the way I
need not in the way protocol requires. I decide what the visit entails.
I've been recommending this book a lot but see if you can purchase or get The Power of Pleasurable Childbirth through an interlibrary loan. It's about ucing BUT I think all pregnant women would benefit from reading it. We have been so brainwashed to believe we have to do certain things during pregnancy/birth or to look for permission from hcp when we want things and it's just wrong. Plain and simple. It's more than a shift in perspective but it feels like women are really getting bullied and I, for one, hope that at some point we feel confident enough to say NO when we want to.
*You were posting while I was typing and I just read it. You shouldn't have to subject yourself to that kind of treatment or be fearful that you might see him/her again. I'm horrified. There has to be another choice. It is so wrong for women to have to make childbirth choices b/c of $$ or lack thereof. I hope something really great happens and you find yourself in a better situation. I really do.