Stupid Things People Say at Births.... - Page 2

[Llyra]

With DD1, it was getting late and I was at around 8 cm and stalled and my mom kept saying to me, "geez, why are you taking so long? Hurry up!" She was joking, and thought it was funny, but it really seriously aggravated me. : Like somehow I was being rude or inconsiderate of HER by daring to labor late at night.

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by mommathea

Needless to say the supportive ob just about kicked her out of the room.

No, that definitely needed to be said, it totally rocks that the OB kicked her out.

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by rnchrista

2 or 3 minutes later, she came running out "hurry up, hurry up, you're going to miss the birth" I really had to resist saying "told ya so" lol

Um, aren't you and the baby the only ones guaranteed to not miss the birth?

[BetsyS]

I was loud in labor. Really, really loud. I've attended a lot of births in my day, and I'd put my labor experience on par with the crack addict that was abrupting sort of loud.

I ended up with a c-section, and the next day, a phlebotomist comes in to draw my blood. He's chatting with me, and he told me I "should be happy I had a c-section." Oh, really? "Yes, because yesterday, there was a woman in labor, and she was so loud that the whole hospital could hear her screaming all day long." Um, buddy, that would be me.

He turned about 18 shades of red and couldn't get out of my room fast enough. It still makes me giggle to think about it. LOL

[Belle]

Originally Posted by paquerette

Wha? Were you donating blood or something?

Yeah, they wanted me to donate dd's cord blood. They lied and told me the cord wouldn't be cut until it stopped pulsing.

[rrs]

Right after Carter was born, my postpartum nurse realized my mom was also a nurse (she had left the hospital she works at to attend Carter's birth).

My mom mentioned that she had previously worked at the other area hospital. The nurse mentioned that "While that hospital has a really nice L&D floor, they just lost another mom. Postpartum, pretty normal birth." My mom was just like, "Okay, you need to leave."

[SeekingSerenity]

I remember being in labor with my first, lying in a semi-dark room with strict orders to stay on my left side. I was in a lot of pain, obviously, and panting and moaning through each contraction. My H was holding my hand, and after one particularly bad contraction, while I was catching my breath, he sort of laughed and said, "Boy, I guess after this, you won't be having any more babies, will ya??" Butt head.

Kind of the same thing with Baby #4, when I was having my first birth center birth. Different H this time, but when things started really kicking into transition, and I was in the tub with the jets on, he leaned over and said, "Betcha wish you'd done that hospital thing with the epidural now, don't ya?" He's quite lucky I didn't grab the back of his head and drown him in the birth tub right then. :

[paquerette]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

Um, aren't you and the baby the only ones guaranteed to not miss the birth?

But she was the doula! I don't think Nature gives any guarantees there.

Originally Posted by Belle

Yeah, they wanted me to donate dd's cord blood. They lied and told me the cord wouldn't be cut until it stopped pulsing.

Doh! I didn't even think of that!

: about the cord cutting.

[mytwogirls]

During the birth of my first daughter I was pushing like a mad woman (the babe was sunny-side up and BIG!) and I had been moaning loudly and being kinda loud. During a quiet moment, my OB ripped a HUGE fart and he (jokingly) blamed it on me saying "Don't push THAT hard." Everyone knew better and he was totally embarrassed. I now work for him and remind him of that "incident" every now and then.

[thefragile7393]

Originally Posted by SeekingSerenity

Kind of the same thing with Baby #4, when I was having my first birth center birth. Different H this time, but when things started really kicking into transition, and I was in the tub with the jets on, he leaned over and said, "Betcha wish you'd done that hospital thing with the epidural now, don't ya?" He's quite lucky I didn't grab the back of his head and drown him in the birth tub right then. :

I know at the time it wasn't funny but I'm realling LOL'ing here with the picture of you attempting to drown him in the tub.

[boobyfeeder]

I was in labor with DD1, and begging for an epidural. When the anesthesiologist came in, I was in the middle of a contraction. He started telling me about the epi, all the risks, etc that they have to say, and I looked at him and went "Shhhhhhhhh!" just trying to get through the cx. He stopped and said "Do you want this epidural or not?" I could have kicked him if he was close enough. The nurse gave him a dirty look.

During the same birth, the nurse was saying "Pushpushpushpushpushpush" as they do, and all I could think was "Shutupshutupshutupshutup!" I couldn't feel when to push, unfortunately, and ended up with a 2nd degree tear.

During the birth of my DD2, I was at home, with my DH and my mom (who was technically not invited, she was at the house in case DD1 woke up and was not supposed to be in the room). I was VERY loud, and mom said to me "I can't hear your daughter! (on the monitor)". I completely ignored her. At that point I didn't care if I woke the whole neighborhood. For the record, DD1 slept through the whole thing.

[Tuwamare]

Okay, I have a couple. During my first birth in the hospital, the nurses kept telling me to be quiet. I was moaning during the contractions. First they told me that I'd hurt my throat if I kept it up... I didn't care. When that didn't work, they told me I was scaring the other mothers and I should be quiet. Grrrrr. It still didn't work.

With one of my homebirths, the baby had been born just a short time before, and I was making one of my many trips to the bathroom. The midwife came with me to check a few things, and decided this was a good time to talk about birth control. Excuse me? I just had a baby! Birth control was the last thing on my mind... my baby was like an hour old! There is a time and place, you know, and I didn't appreciate being treated like I had never heard of bc before!

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by SeekingSerenity

, "Boy, I guess after this, you won't be having any more babies, will ya??" Butt head.

"Betcha wish you'd done that hospital thing with the epidural now, don't ya?" He's quite lucky I didn't grab the back of his head and drown him in the birth tub right then. :

So you're attracted to mates with suicidal tendencies?

[thefragile7393]

laughup I agree! Both sound obnoxious but with that 2nd one I'd have a hard time not drowning him in the pool either.

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by mytwogirls

During the birth of my first daughter I was pushing like a mad woman (the babe was sunny-side up and BIG!) and I had been moaning loudly and being kinda loud. During a quiet moment, my OB ripped a HUGE fart and he (jokingly) blamed it on me saying "Don't push THAT hard." Everyone knew better and he was totally embarrassed. I now work for him and remind him of that "incident" every now and then.

From what you've said of your OB, I half wonder if he actually was saying that you pushed hard enough to make *him* fart.

[Baby Makes 4]

I was 19 when my first baby was born. I managed 20 hours without drugs before I asked for some pain relief.

The nurse's response?

"Next time, use a condom."

She left and never did come back with drugs. She was obviously trying to teach me a lesson. :

[wife&mommy]

I had a nurse that kept asking me questions DURING CONTRACTIONS (induced contractions with no pain meds). And when I wouldn't answer right away she ketp getting mad and telling me I had to answer. OMG I wanted to smack her! Luckily my doula spoke up about that.

[janasmama]

Originally Posted by KiansMomma

I was moaning (um...loudly) through some rough transition contractions and my wonderful DH, who was just trying to be supportive said "shhhhh.." In the deepest recesses of my mind, I KNEW he was trying to comfort me, but my mother said that if looks could kill, he would have been a smoldering pile of goo on the floor...lol

[janasmama]

Originally Posted by mytwogirls

During the birth of my first daughter I was pushing like a mad woman (the babe was sunny-side up and BIG!) and I had been moaning loudly and being kinda loud. During a quiet moment, my OB ripped a HUGE fart and he (jokingly) blamed it on me saying "Don't push THAT hard." Everyone knew better and he was totally embarrassed. I now work for him and remind him of that "incident" every now and then.

This one totally made me laugh out loud!

[PatienceAndLove]

My little sister (16 at the time) walked into the birthing room just as Vivi was crowning. She looked over and her eyes about bugged out of her head and said "is it supposed to do THAT?" and ran out of the room. I may have been sedated and pushing, but I cracked up.
She claims she's still scarred for life.