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Stupid Things People Say at Births.... - Page 11

post #201 of 512
Quote:
Originally Posted by CEG View Post
This wasn't my birth, but I work in L & D. The other day a mom coded during her epidural placement and had to be rescusitated and after a code blue an emergency c-section performed. During the chaos the anesthesioloigist commented: "This is why people shouldn't do this at home." Because they might code during their epidural? Duh! Mom and baby were fine but anesthesiologist is still an idiot
However did you keep from saying "do what? Get an epidural? I don't think people ever do that at home."
post #202 of 512
Quote:
Originally Posted by LucyRev View Post
I've been going to the hospital birth classes with my sister and the instructor said, "some women never feel the urge to push, but don't worry. The doctor will tell you when it is time." I actually busted up laughing.
It's no joke. I had homebirths with both my kids and had no urge to push with the first. After being fully dilated for quite some time, my CNM finally suggested I just start pushing anyway. I pushed for 4.5 hours before my daughter was born. It was frustrating, exhausting, counterintuitive, and excruciatingly painful.

Which brings me to my stupidest thing...talking on the phone to my mom shortly after the baby was born, when I told her I had pushed for 4.5 hours, she said, "Oh, that's not that long". This from the woman whose babies practically fell out of her w/in an hour or so of having her first contraction.
post #203 of 512
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
Military doctors should be forced to do their residencies elsewhere and come back to the military hospitals to put in their required time after they've gotten at least 10 years experience in civilian hospitals. The current way around is just stupid. (Right now, the military pays to train them, then gives them credit for the residencies that are part of that training, then gets like 2 years out of them before they go to private practice.)
It's not military hosp. It's this j@ckA$$! 2 of my babes were born in Army hospitals, and I had relatively good experiences. It's a problem with our hospital culture in general. Mil hosp. might have MORE problems because of the hierachical power structure, but I have heard just as many, if not more, horror stories from civilian hosp.

Just for the record, I would have wanted to kick the guy in the face!!
post #204 of 512
Quote:
Originally Posted by PatienceAndLove View Post
"I have a 5 o'clock tee time, so if the baby's not out by 4pm, I'd like to do a forceps extraction."
OMG.

Because it's all about the doctor, not the mom, right? Sheesh.

I would have been furious!

-Caitrin
post #205 of 512
My BF gave birth in a hospital with a MW but did have an epidurap and then pit and EFM and the baby's heart rate would dip occasionally but her MW wasn't worried although the OB on call kept coming in pushing for a c-section and my BF was dead set against that unless her MW recommanded it and she hadn't. So after a whole night spend at the hospital her mother and I were outside in the hall way having a short break and her DP's mother showed up asking for an update so we filled her in. Her first comment was " if she had a c-section then they would keep her in the hospital longer and I could clean their house for them :
post #206 of 512
Thread Starter 
^ Oh my!
post #207 of 512
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jannah5 View Post
With my 3rd DC I had to be induced. Instead of my MW delivering, I had to have a male Dr. Although my MW was allowed in the room. I suffer from really bad boils. When the Dr saw my private area he screamed "What's That!?). The nurse was SOOOO annoyed that she answered him rudely.

During this labor I yelled so loudly and kept rocking back and forth, I thought the poor Dr. was going to bolt.
Whoa, was that guy new or something? To have never seen a boil in the pubic region before (don't people go in to get those removed all the time? I've had em but never quite that bad), and to be freaked out by someone making noise in labor. Sheesh. I guess it's too bad he didn't bolt, eh?
post #208 of 512
I can't think of any right now, though I know I will. These are just too funny. And sometimes too sad.
post #209 of 512
I was telling my friend and her DH about this thread and some of the things I've been through in my own labors, and they told me this story... it happened with her DH and his first wife, when the woman was having their child...

Apparently, the labor was quick and the birth was fairly easy. The baby was delivered, and the doc did a "routine" episiotomy. So the babe's on the warmer, Mom's lying exhausted on the bed, and the Dr. was stitching the episiotomy... the dad (now my BF's DH, thankfully more sensitive and tactful than he was back then) walks over and looks at what the doc was doing to his wife.

Out of the blue, he says, "Hey doc, while you're at it, you think you could throw an extra stitch in there? You know, just tighten things up a little?"

(He admits that at the time, he thought it was funny, but looking back, he realizes he is probably quite lucky to have walked out of that room alive. The doctor, a woman, was apparently NOT amused, judging by the look of smouldering, venomous hatred she gave him.)
post #210 of 512
When I had my daughter, it was a hospital birth. I was induced and eventually got an epidural.

My nurse--who would leave for hours at a time, leaving my husband and me alone and uncertain of what was going on--was chatty when she was there. She kept asking me these questions like "Oh, so you're in school, are you? For a Ph.D.?" (while I was trying to push!). I mean, honestly, if I want small talk I'll go to a freaking coffee shop! I was already feeling a little bitter because she changed the cartridge that delivered drugs to the epidural and forgot to turn the pump back on, so I was in total agony (back labor) and yet I thought the whole time that they had done everything in their power to help me and that I was going to die.

About halfway through my labor, which was quite long, I turned to my husband and said, "You are never getting sex again. Never." The nurse heard me and said, very seriously, "Oh, honey, you'll probably change your mind."
post #211 of 512
I was admonished by a nurse mid labor because i didn't go to prenatal classes. A little to late to be concerned about it. Classes or no classes...that baby was on it's way!
post #212 of 512
Quote:
Originally Posted by SeekingSerenity View Post
I was telling my friend and her DH about this thread and some of the things I've been through in my own labors, and they told me this story... it happened with her DH and his first wife, when the woman was having their child...

Apparently, the labor was quick and the birth was fairly easy. The baby was delivered, and the doc did a "routine" episiotomy. So the babe's on the warmer, Mom's lying exhausted on the bed, and the Dr. was stitching the episiotomy... the dad (now my BF's DH, thankfully more sensitive and tactful than he was back then) walks over and looks at what the doc was doing to his wife.

Out of the blue, he says, "Hey doc, while you're at it, you think you could throw an extra stitch in there? You know, just tighten things up a little?"

(He admits that at the time, he thought it was funny, but looking back, he realizes he is probably quite lucky to have walked out of that room alive. The doctor, a woman, was apparently NOT amused, judging by the look of smouldering, venomous hatred she gave him.)
That happened to a friend of mine with her EX dh!
post #213 of 512
Quote:
Originally Posted by SeekingSerenity View Post
I...
Out of the blue, he says, "Hey doc, while you're at it, you think you could throw an extra stitch in there? You know, just tighten things up a little?"

(He admits that at the time, he thought it was funny, but looking back, he realizes he is probably quite lucky to have walked out of that room alive. The doctor, a woman, was apparently NOT amused, judging by the look of smouldering, venomous hatred she gave him.)

That's called the "husband's knot", something that was actually done (or maybe still is)
post #214 of 512
These are so funny, and so scary all at once... I can't imagine behaving myself very well during labor or after in the face of some of these comments. I'd probably run screaming from the hospital and choose to labor in the parking garage.At very least the nurses would be at serious risk, i think. I tend to be a bit, uh, ferocious when i'm in pain. How can you all suffer these fools so calmly?
post #215 of 512
ugh some of these are just terrible.
post #216 of 512
Happened to me, not by anyone's request, but my midwife stitched me too tight, now I have a flap of skin that gets pinched during sex and is very painful, just finally getting better at 18 mos pp. I'm hoping this baby will tear just that little part and it can heal back to my normal vagina

Quote:
Originally Posted by natural_momma View Post
That's called the "husband's knot", something that was actually done (or maybe still is)
post #217 of 512
Quote:
Originally Posted by Qestia View Post
Stupid nurse at my birth decided to lecture me then and there about how I shouldn't have been doing kegels while pregnant. I just tried my best to ignore her, but really, even if she was right--which she wasn't--what did she hope to accomplish by telling me that, then?
LOL
That's hysterical!
post #218 of 512
Quote:
Originally Posted by filiadeluna View Post
When I was born, my dad said "It's a BOY!", until the doctor corrected him. He was so hell-bent on the idea that I was going to be a boy, that he didn't even bother to *look*.
My partner just did this three weeks ago when our daughter was born! Not because he so wanted a boy, but because the angle at which he saw her engorged labia - he thought they were testes!
post #219 of 512
my DP had to check twice before he would concede that DD was indeed female
post #220 of 512
The idiot OB I had with ds1 walks in my room when I was going on 24 hours of unrelenting back labor (no meds at that point) and says in this cheerful voice, "So, who's tired of this pregnancy? I am, I am!", waving her arm in the air like she's making the funniest joke ever. I think everyone in the room wanted to throw something at her.
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