Stupid Things People Say at Births.... - Page 16

[UnassistedMomma]

Oh, I sincerely hope that he and Mark didn't get together to confer on your poop afterwards!! I would definitely have kicked him!!

[veronicalynne]

Originally Posted by Narn

I don't know. I posted about it a few months ago.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=830292

I just read your other post that you linked....did they ever get back to you about the nurse and what she did? or are you still waiting? I am still cringing....sometimes when I wash "down there" it gets irritated and that is just the outside.......I cant imagine how it must have been for you

[veronicalynne]

Originally Posted by mytwogirls

Ohhh I have to add another one I just thought of when I was watching my first daughter's birth video. While I was pushing my 9lbs 2oz posterior girl out (and I am only 100lbs myself so you could imagine!) my hubby was watching me push and then looked up at me with HUGE eyes and said "Oh my god it is really true!"
I said "What is true?" as I am still pushing.
He said "Well, Mark (his fishing buddy) said women poop during delivery, but wow you just pooped a WHOLE bunch. I thought he was telling me a lie."
Ohhhh I could have kicked him in the head after that. :

laughup I had the nurse talk about how huge my *ahem* during delivery was but thankfully my doula gave her hell.

[amitymama]

I only found out the other day that I pooped in labour with DD and NOT when I was pushing! DH never mentioned it to me until we were talking about how if that happens this time he needs to fish it out of the pool. I didn't think I had done it last time or if I had that it was when I was pushing and DH was up by my head. Bless him for never mentioning it and embarrassing me.

Stupidest thing said to me in labour was the midwife when I first arrived. I had only been in labour for a few hours but went ahead and came in because they were every two minutes and sometimes double peaked already. My mom had all of her babies in under six hours so I was conscious of the possibility that I could be a fast birther, even for a first-timer. When I was approaching the birth centre desk to check in I stopped to have a contraction and then about one minute later, had to stop and have another one. The midwife rolled her eyes and said "Oh, come on now, that can't be another one already, you're probably 2cm at most." Turns out I was only 4cm but DD was posterior so that explained the cntx being so close together. Stupid cow. :

[Full Heart]

Originally Posted by amitymama

Stupidest thing said to me in labour was the midwife when I first arrived. I had only been in labour for a few hours but went ahead and came in because they were every two minutes and sometimes double peaked already. My mom had all of her babies in under six hours so I was conscious of the possibility that I could be a fast birther, even for a first-timer. When I was approaching the birth centre desk to check in I stopped to have a contraction and then about one minute later, had to stop and have another one. The midwife rolled her eyes and said "Oh, come on now, that can't be another one already, you're probably 2cm at most." Turns out I was only 4cm but DD was posterior so that explained the cntx being so close together. Stupid cow. :

Yea thats pretty stupid. When I had ptl my contrax were every 2 min (and confirmed on the monitor) and I was only 1 cm.

[Marlet]

I've been reading this to my DH and he reminded me of one!

We had been planning a UC with our first and when my older brother found out he had plenty to say. He actually called me up one day to ask me some questions and when my "hippy dippy" answers didn't satisfy him he ended the conversation with this gem:

Him: What are you going to do when your laying on your living room floor bleeding everywhere and have a placenta sliding all over the wood floor? Bring your dog in to help with the clean up?

Not his finest moment.

[llamalluv]

Originally Posted by OtherMother'n'Madre

I've been reading this to my DH and he reminded me of one!

We had been planning a UC with our first and when my older brother found out he had plenty to say. He actually called me up one day to ask me some questions and when my "hippy dippy" answers didn't satisfy him he ended the conversation with this gem:

Him: What are you going to do when your laying on your living room floor bleeding everywhere and have a placenta sliding all over the wood floor? Bring your dog in to help with the clean up?

Not his finest moment.

Wow. What a peach.

I totally would have replied, "No way in heck is the DOG going to eat my placenta - it's for company. When can you come for supper, brother?"

[Belia]

I think this may be my favorite thread of all time!

Is it wrong of me to hope that someone says something stupid during MY birth so I can add a story, too? Not hurtful-stupid, of course, but just hilarious-stupid.

[kundemama]

This thread is too funny!
The nurse said, "just do a little push." It was followed by, "that wasn't a little push."

[frontierpsych]

Originally Posted by llamalluv

Wow. What a peach.

I totally would have replied, "No way in heck is the DOG going to eat my placenta - it's for company. When can you come for supper, brother?"

[frontierpsych]

Originally Posted by Belia

I think this may be my favorite thread of all time!

Is it wrong of me to hope that someone says something stupid during MY birth so I can add a story, too? Not hurtful-stupid, of course, but just hilarious-stupid.

Oh I'm sure. I think a lot of people just don't know *what* to say at a birth, but don't have the good sense to keep their mouths SHUT!

-----------------

I've got one from DH, not during the actual birth, but I'd been having pre-labour off and on for a couple weeks before DD was born. She was born November 25th 2006, and my birthday is Nov 23rd, which also happened to be Thanksgiving that year. So DH has his friend over for our little thanksgiving dinner, they're cooking a turkey and everything (I'm a vegetarian, so I left that up to them) and I was having some pretty good contractions (and back labour, she was posterior) AND it was my birthday, and DH starts asking me to make candied yams. I was like "Make them yourself, I'm having contractions on my birthday and I'm NOT in the mood to cook!" and he kept insisting that he didn't know how to make them (I told him step by step but he kept saying he'd mess them up somehow and that I'd make them better) Grrrrr!!! :

[majikfaerie]

@ othermothernmadre's bil : hey! where's the puking smilie? cant find the little guy

[Narn]

Originally Posted by barefootpoetry

OMFG. That's horrible! : How did you know it was your uterus? Did you know right then what she was doing or did you find out later? Did anything bad happen as a result of this? I ask because I am reading my medical records for the first time today and am finding a TON of stuff that no one told me happened.

That's funny. I requested my medical records and noticed there is stuff that happened that wasn't written down.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I had dd in the hospital because that is what my family wanted anyway I was having piggy back ctx lasting 70-90 seconds with a break of about 10-30 seconds between. I am NOT a quiet woman in labor especially with her so I was yelling as loud as I could during them and a nurse actually came in and told me I had to be quiet because I was scaring the other woman in labor :

I remember looking at her like she was a pile of steaming doggy : on the floor and I continued to loudly yell through the rest of my labor.

I dont regret for one minute yelling because it helped me cope with the pain and I wa able to still have dd after 12 hours of these piggy back ctx with no pain meds the way I wanted.

When the dr started stitching me up after cutting me which I had requested he NOT do. He stuck the needle in without numbing me first and when I said OUCH he said oh does that hurt : no I just like saying ouch for the fun of it. :

[Narn]

Originally Posted by veronicalynne

I just read your other post that you linked....did they ever get back to you about the nurse and what she did? or are you still waiting? I am still cringing....sometimes when I wash "down there" it gets irritated and that is just the outside.......I cant imagine how it must have been for you

The hospital just sent that one letter saying they were investigating. I haven't heard back from Johnsons since I signed a paper giving them permission to get a copy of my medical records from the hospital.

[kitkat5505]

Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X

I had dd in the hospital because that is what my family wanted anyway I was having piggy back ctx lasting 70-90 seconds with a break of about 10-30 seconds between. I am NOT a quiet woman in labor especially with her so I was yelling as loud as I could during them and a nurse actually came in and told me I had to be quiet because I was scaring the other woman in labor :

I remember looking at her like she was a pile of steaming doggy : on the floor and I continued to loudly yell through the rest of my labor.

I dont regret for one minute yelling because it helped me cope with the pain and I wa able to still have dd after 12 hours of these piggy back ctx with no pain meds the way I wanted.

This happened to me too, but luckily I didn't hear it or I sure would have had something to say! Everyone who was with me says a doctor or nurse came in and said I needed to be quiet cuz I was scaring the 17yr old in labor down the hall. She's just lucky I was too busy having a baby to hear her.

[Thursday Girl]

headed for the hospital at 9 1/2 cm. Dh had to stop for gas.

after having the baby a nurse argued with me over who was more tired. i had been in labor for 26 hours. I dropped it, b/c she wasn't/

Went into labor naturally, DD latched on right after birth, but didn't eat too much. She didn't want to wake up to eat. They kept threating to give her formula if I couldn't get her to wake up. I dind't know much with my 1st birth, but i did know that she had food stores saved up. They did give her sugar water, then i got smart and started lying to them.

They walked in and saw dh, dd, and i laying in bed resting, and told us not to do that b/c we would kill the baby.

(this one is actually funny)The midwife said "Oh my!" while i was pushing DD's head out. Totally freaked me out. When she saw the look on my face she explained. DD had knit her brows and looked around, trying to figure out what was going on. Very calmly you know. Her full head wasn't even out yet, she was only up to her nose.MW said "I have never seen a baby do that before."
(baby also did not cry after birth, but just looked around with this serious look as she tried to figure it all out.)

so that was all my first daughter.

nothing of note happened with #2 at the birth center.

[Narn]

Originally Posted by Thursday Girl

after having the baby a nurse argued with me over who was more tired. i had been in labor for 26 hours. I dropped it, b/c she wasn't.

Geez! When I got to the hospital I hadn't slept for at least two days and had been in labor for 20. I was so tired! And both nurses I had were complaining about how tired they were over and over! And my husband and sister were complaining about how tired they were. And I was so tired I wanted to cry! While I was pushing the nurse even closed her eyes and lowered her head in between contractions, because the poor woman was soooooo tired! Gah!

[~Boudicca~]

Originally Posted by OtherMother'n'Madre

I've been reading this to my DH and he reminded me of one!

We had been planning a UC with our first and when my older brother found out he had plenty to say. He actually called me up one day to ask me some questions and when my "hippy dippy" answers didn't satisfy him he ended the conversation with this gem:

Him: What are you going to do when your laying on your living room floor bleeding everywhere and have a placenta sliding all over the wood floor? Bring your dog in to help with the clean up?

Not his finest moment.

Oh NO! What an a$$! So what did you say to him?

[amis2girls]

In labor with my third I was moaning/ gutteral yelling during transition. My OB was so surprised she asked me if I wanted an epidural at 8cm. The nurses and I looked at her for a second and then went back to work. Maybe she'd never seen anyone productively using contractions?