Stupid Things People Say at Births.... - Page 3

[snsb]

I was in the middle of labor with my 1st (no meds). I was dry heaving and sweating and having chills, contractions every few minutes. I looked at my dh and said hopefully, "maybe this is transition." He replied, "I think it is gonna get a lot worse!" Some coach! He didn't want me to get my hopes too high!

[janasmama]

I am loving these!

[Queen of my Castle]

Originally Posted by Baby Makes 4

I was 19 when my first baby was born. I managed 20 hours without drugs before I asked for some pain relief.

The nurse's response?

"Next time, use a condom."

She left and never did come back with drugs. She was obviously trying to teach me a lesson. :

Holy Cow- that makes me want to slap her NOW. You should have complained, that's insane and completly unaccepatable. You poor thing.:

[MamaChicken]

As I'm pushing, the MW asks if I want her to break my water. I said no and she was fine with that - the nurse on the other hand was freaked out! She actually asked "but what happens if the water doesn't break on it's own?".

I giggled.

[jessjgh1]

Originally Posted by MamaChicken

As I'm pushing, the MW asks if I want her to break my water. I said no and she was fine with that - the nurse on the other hand was freaked out! She actually asked "but what happens if the water doesn't break on it's own?".

I giggled.

Actually, for my first birth I asked what they did and was told that they typically break the water at some point before pushing. When I asked why she told me because if they don't the water pops and explodes all over the hospital room leaving a big mess. (or something like that).
i remember feeling a little unsettled by it, but my water broke at home.

And for the record, w/ dd, the midwife just put an extra pad down when she thought it was about to burst (I'd been pushing for a whlle), warned everyone and things probably did make a bit of a mess- but it wasn't like the whole room needed hazmat... lol.

This is a great thread...

Jessica

[janasmama]

Originally Posted by MamaChicken

As I'm pushing, the MW asks if I want her to break my water. I said no and she was fine with that - the nurse on the other hand was freaked out! She actually asked "but what happens if the water doesn't break on it's own?".

I giggled.

This would be referred to as "being born in the caul." There are lots of old wives tales that go along with what this means....I've heard that the person born in the caul will never drown (which is good because I was born in the caul and I love whitewater rafting and kayaking.) I've also heard it means the person will have some kind of very loving, nurturing profession (i.e. midwife, doula, etc.)

I wonder if anyone else know what some of the tales are for being born in the caul.

[eggsandpancakes]

with my second, i went to the hospital 5 cm and ready to go. The nurse was lovely, and just left me alone to have the baby. When the doctor finally showed up at 9+ cm, he busted out with "this natural childbirth stuff sounds good in the books, but doesn't always work out that way in reality". . . . 45 minutes later i had a nursing baby. No tears, no hemorrhoids, no drugs. What, exactly, didn't work out?

[jennica]

My midwife said "I have to break the water now" and I asked why. She said, "because I can see it right there". I'm still trying to figure that one out.

[paquerette]

Originally Posted by janasmama

I wonder if anyone else know what some of the tales are for being born in the caul.

You're also supposed to have the Second Sight, and generally be very lucky.

This may actually be the reason that AROM makes me so mad. No one should have the right to deprive a baby of their destiny like that.

[New_Natural_Mom]

Don't bear down!

Um, yeah. Right. I'll get right on that

[New_Natural_Mom]

Originally Posted by janasmama

I agree and this is what was going on with my sis but I think it is the result of epi's.

Usually they say don't push to help prevent tears. OK, having total pp brain, is tears spelled right? Tear, as in rip?

[sarahn4639]

Originally Posted by Baby Makes 4

I was 19 when my first baby was born. I managed 20 hours without drugs before I asked for some pain relief.

The nurse's response?

"Next time, use a condom."

She left and never did come back with drugs. She was obviously trying to teach me a lesson. :

i doula for teen moms and if i heard anything like this i fear for what i would do! i'm so sorry that happened to you!

Originally Posted by snsb

I was in the middle of labor with my 1st (no meds). I was dry heaving and sweating and having chills, contractions every few minutes. I looked at my dh and said hopefully, "maybe this is transition." He replied, "I think it is gonna get a lot worse!" Some coach! He didn't want me to get my hopes too high!

eek, i understand his reasoning but holy cow!

when i had dd in a hospital i was on a birth stool on a bed (heaven forbid we inconvience anyone to sit on the floor) so i'm like up on this pedestal in the middle of the room stark naked and pushing uncontrolable and painfully with a posterior baby and the room floods with randoms and a nurse asks "are you ready to get down and be delivered?" i looked at her with a look of disbelief and complete irritation and said "what!?! NO!" it's one of my favorite parts of my birth video

[MKury]

I absolutely LOVE my mw, and she was really cute as I was laboring on the birth stool. She was sitting on the floor under me and said, "Mary, you have a bulging bag of waters. I'm just going to cover myself with this chux pad- is that okay?" I didn't care obviously, but I'm so glad she did. With my next push, the entire wall behind her got drenched, but she stayed nice and dry. So sweet of her not to want to offend me!!

[JesseMomme]

I'm definitely getting a kick out of some of these!

[diamond lil]

Some of these are funny, but at the same time I feel really sad that some of these weird things were said in the first place. Especially the one about the poor laboring mom asking for some pain relief and the nurse saying to use a condom next time. How awful. I would have thrown something at her.

Can you get kicked out of a hospital for throwing things at nurses? I can totally see myself doing that.

[mleavell]

I had a transfer to a hospital from my birth center. Ended up needing a c-section. The nurse came in to get me ready and asked if I was ready for my "happy-dural." Uh, no. I am not happy about this, just give it to me. Later, some male doctor (I think it was an MD) made a comment about me getting a "perineal bypass." You know, even if I had chosen these things, that is not appropriate talk.

[Noisette's_Maman]

With DD (my first) I had labored for a while, stupidly gotten the epidural which didn't work to ease the pain but made my hands numb, pushed when they told me, had a few attempts at vacuum extraction---it was a teaching hospital and it seemed like everyone got a turn, when they finally decided that the baby's head was cocked funny and I needed a c-section because her heart rate was wonky.

As I was being wheeled to the OR, two nurses who were helping to push the guerney had the following conversation...

Nurse 1 "You know she pushed for a while, that baby's really going to be down there and when they open her up one of us may have to push the baby back up from her vagina so the doctor can pull the baby out"

Nurse 2 "Well I've never done that before but if you think I can, I'll try"

Me "I can hear you!"

Ugh. I practically blacked out at that point and have no idea how DD got out of me...but she was beautiful and healthy (and I had a great VBAC with DS three yeas later).

[Tizzy]

One stupidly annoying nurse said to me after I repeatedly requested the chux pad be change after they did AROM and it felt awful to be laying in a puddle - "There's no dignity in childbirth honey!" Ooooh that made me so mad because it was NOT my idea to be there in the first place!

FWIW I felt quite dignified for my next birth in my own bathroom

Although one thing - I was experiencing extreme hip pain and my last straw of hope was to put peppermint oil on my hips. I asked DH to go get it and he hollers from the kitchen "It says not to use if pregnant." I told him "just bring me the damn stuff already and I'll put it on myself!" lol

[attachedmamaof3]

My middle son's birth was EXTREMELY precipitous and at one point, my husband was on the phone telling the MW to HURRY...(I'd reached up inside and touched the baby's head/amniotic sac)...he comes running into the bathroom where I am on hands/knees and says "The MW says DON'T PUSH!"

I said (honestly trying not to push) "I'm TRYING not to push but my body is MAKING me!" He ran back to the phone and apparently passed that message on verbatim.

Whelp, to make a short story even shorter, about 10 minutes later--AFTER the baby was born, my MW runs in with one shoe on, bursts through the door, storms down the hallway and sees me in bed nursing.

The look on her face was priceless and she goes (kind of in a mock angry voice) "I thought I told you NOT to push."

[mytwogirls]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

From what you've said of your OB, I half wonder if he actually was saying that you pushed hard enough to make *him* fart.

Yeah, he is so funny when it comes to that. He said the other day he thought of that incident and he laughed out loud at himself. The patient asked what he was laughing about and he said it was a LONG story. I think he made the poor woman self-conscience without meaning to!