Stupid Things People Say at Births.... - Page 21

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by mama*ashleigh

I laugh now, but at the time I was not amused!

I swear, some dh's have no sense of timing. It's like, "she'd find that funny normally, so I'll say it now! Why is she mad??"

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by ~Ryleigh's Mommy~

OMG, I can't forgot the last part to the whistling doc story:

I thought the first half was bad enough. With the second half I would've been telling her how to file a complaint and sue the doctor right there while he was still in the room.

[DentedHalo]

Originally Posted by ~Ryleigh's Mommy~

This is while sewing up a 3rd degree epis with NO epidural or lidocaine. Yea, I'm real sure the pain was "all in her head"

I just about tossed my cookies, breakfast and lunch all in one. Holy cow... :

[blessedwithboys]

my sister was having her third baby, which was the first that was w/out meds.

she was on the bed moaning loudly/almost screaming.

a nurse walks in and asks "what is all the yelling about?" i said "ummm, shes pushing out a baby with no pain medication"

the nurse then says "she needs to be quiet. other people here are trying to have babies too"

my sister yelled louder

[ThundersCry]

Originally Posted by chpiper

My own birth had some memorable moments too...my first birth was 47 minutes long... (INTENSE) I arrive at the hospital ready to push, contrax on top of each other, really in the throws of labor and some nurse brings a paper to me with a bunch of faces on it asking me to show her which one resembles how I am feeling...I said circle the one that has a head coming out of her vagina...

OMG above. I am only half way through but this one made me spit my soda LITERALLY at the screen!!!

[Celticqueen]

Originally Posted by blessedwithboys

my sister was having her third baby, which was the first that was w/out meds.

she was on the bed moaning loudly/almost screaming.

a nurse walks in and asks "what is all the yelling about?" i said "ummm, shes pushing out a baby with no pain medication"

the nurse then says "she needs to be quiet. other people here are trying to have babies too"

my sister yelled louder

Oh my gosh the nerve!!! Good for your sister to be louder. Good grief.

-Caitrin

[jenniferlynne]

This isn't really so bad in retrospect but at the time I was ready to kill everyone in the room. DD's birth was really fast, and transition hit me like a ton of bricks. I just remember screaming a lot, and at one point when I was pushing, groaning, "Just get it OUT of me!" -- at which point everyone in the room started cracking up : Obviously, I was not joking so I couldn't imagine why they thought it was funny! I remember thinking that if I could've gotten my hands around the MW's neck, she would've been in a load of trouble. Fortunately (for her), another contraction hit and all I could do was push. DD was born just a couple of minutes later and, of course, all was forgotten at that point. Other than that one little incident, my birth team was fabulous so I don't have any hard feelings.

In my first birth, which was in a hospital, one of the OBs made a comment which just terrified me. Granted, I was a first-time mom and very nervous about labor. It didn't help that I could hear women on both sides of my room screaming loudly. My contractions were just getting to the point where they were really uncomfortable, and I was having trouble breathing through them. The OB came in to check on me, watched me through a contraction, then said, "I can see things are starting to move along but you're nowhere near ready. Just listen to your neighbors for an idea of what you're in for." : That, and the fact that her shoes (or shoe covers -- whatever it is they have on their feet) were covered in blood, just sent me over the edge. The second she left the room I completely fell apart, and it took my very supportive labor nurse and DH a LONG time to calm me down. Of course, the OB was right, and I don't think her comment would've scared me in my second labor, but I think she could've said it a little more tactfully!

[highlandmum]

OMG this thread is hilarious, and I have one to top the cake! My MIL said to me while I was in labor (hospital) with dd#2 "I treat (she is a therapist) a baby that was dropped on its head by the nurse that 'caught' her when she was born. Oh crap! I can't believe I just said that!'
Seriously!
Love my MIL but that reeeaaallly didn't help!

[white_queen_22]

These are my mom's stories from her last hospital birth. Mind you - she'd already had three, natural hosptial births in the 70's and 80's but this was the 90's. :-) We didn't know at the time that this doctor has a C-section rate over 75% and does pitocin on EVERYONE.

First: Mom gets to hospital about 11pm and is filling out check in papers. Notices a charge for 2 day stay. She says "I'm not prepaying for two days - I'm anticipating a quick birth and going home soon thereafter."
Nurse says "We charge midnight to midnight so you'll officially be here for two days."
Mom says "OK then - just hold these for a few minutes. I'll be back after midnight (only about 40 minutes away by this point).

Triage nurse - freaking out. "OMG - you can't leave while you're in labor! What if you have the baby? You can't leave now!" Continues freak-out.

Mom: "I'm just going out to the parking lot to walk around. If I feel the urge to push I'll come back inside ok?"

**laughing** I loved it.

More later.

[majikfaerie]

love your mom! that's so cool ^^^

[white_queen_22]

I love my mom too. :-) Some of these final hospital birth stories, plus the fact that I got to attend her next four home births, helped me move straight for the home birth decision when I got pregnant.

Funny/Stupid/Sad #2:
Nurse: "OK - time for your pitocin"
Mom: "I don't do pitocin. I've never needed it before and I certainly don't need it right now after all that walking I just did!"
Nurse: "Oh....umm.....Dr. R does pitocin on EVERYone."
Mom: "Then Dr. R can do pitocin on himself because he is NOT doing pitocin on ME."

<pause> <blank stare>

Nurse: "How will the baby come out without the pitocin?"
Mom: "I think the baby will somehow figure that part out just fine."
Dad <realizing my mom has just about run out of POLITE and is getting closer to transition>: "We'd like to be left alone now - you may come back again in 30 minutes."

*laughing* Not sure how those babies manage to come out without pitocin shoving them out of the uterus but they do manage don't they?? *wry grin*

Angela <><

[white_queen_22]

Not so funny/mostly sad/irritating #3: Note - the women in my family tend to FLY from 7-pushing very quickly.

Mom: "Call the doctor! I need to push now."
Nurse: "I just checked you - you're only at a 7"
Mom: "I've done this before - And I AM pushing"
Nurse: "Shut up. I know how to check people"
Mom: "Then you get your A** over here and check me NOW"
Nurse <lifting blanket> <sees baby-head>: "Oh crap - don't move!" <calls Dr.> "Get here NOW"
Mom: "Told you!"

*wink*

Incidentally the Dr. walked through the door just in time to get completely drenched by my mother's breaking water as the baby crowned and she caught my sister on her own. :-D So happy.

My mom says, "I remember thinking, 'Yes! Great shot Baby!'" hehehehehe

And people wonder where I get my slightly mischevious streak.

Angela <><

[majikfaerie]

yep, your mom ROCKS!

[white_queen_22]

Originally Posted by majikfaerie

yep, your mom ROCKS!

What kills me is that the nurse ACTUALLY said to my mom "shut up". I asked dad and he said "Yep - she actually told your mom to shut up. Your mom was holding my hands and wouldn't let me up at the time." *laughing*

I was only 14 at that point and didn't go to that birth, but I attending the next four births - all at home.

I remember one time Dad was forgetting to breath while mom was pushing. The midwife finally looked up and said "Breathe! I can't catch the baby and resuscitate you at the same time." hehehehe Dad gets into the whole birth process but he always seemed to hold his breath at the end there. Mom would say "Quite gasping in my ear. I'm the one doing the work here".

hehehehehe

Angela <><

[Belia]

Originally Posted by jenniferlynne

I just remember screaming a lot, and at one point when I was pushing, groaning, "Just get it OUT of me!" -- at which point everyone in the room started cracking up : Obviously, I was not joking so I couldn't imagine why they thought it was funny!


I would be really irritated, too. I could totally see myself saying something like this, and that reaction would devastate me. Like everyone else was in on some joke and laughing at me.


The OB came in to check on me, watched me through a contraction, then said, "I can see things are starting to move along but you're nowhere near ready. Just listen to your neighbors for an idea of what you're in for."

That's a horrible thing to say to a laboring women, esp a first-time-mom. What would the point be? How would telling you that help you at all? I'm wondering if your labor turned out to be so painful BECAUSE your dr told you that's how it would be.

Yuck.

[an_aurora]

When I was in labor with DD2, I was on my hands and knees in the bathtub laboring. Dh was applying counterpressure with his fist on my back, and during a contraction I yelled "push! harder! harder!" at him. The MW assistant came running in the bathroom and told me "oh honey you are the one supposed to be pushing not him!". Um, yeah, thanks.

Her labor was very fast, and the MW couldn't get the hose for the birthing tub hooked up, so she had me get in the bathtub while we waited. I had been in there for a few minutes and I overheard the mw telling my mom that she didn't think I would make it to the birthing tub. I looked at DH who was in the bathroom with me, and said "Oh hell no, I am NOT having this baby in this bathtub." I didn't, either.

[box_of_rain]

With my first, I was in my 28th hour of pitocin induced labor (with no pain meds) and had been pushing for 4 hours and 45 minutes. My midwife had put both her hands into me and had tried to manually spread my pelvis apart. I was squatting on the bathroom floor and she looked at me and said "I have no idea how we're going to get this baby out of you" and she stood up and walked away.



He was born an hour later.

[amberskyfire]

Originally Posted by box_of_rain

With my first, I was in my 28th hour of pitocin induced labor (with no pain meds) and had been pushing for 4 hours and 45 minutes. My midwife had put both her hands into me and had tried to manually spread my pelvis apart. I was squatting on the bathroom floor and she looked at me and said "I have no idea how we're going to get this baby out of you" and she stood up and walked away.

Oh my gosh, that's horrible! I would never have expected that from a midwife. :

[box_of_rain]

Originally Posted by amberskyfire

Oh my gosh, that's horrible! I would never have expected that from a midwife. :

She was more of a "medwife", if you know what I mean. I can't imagine my current midwife *ever* doing something like that.

[Sioko]

Alright, technically this is not a "birth" experience, but the dumbest things I was ever asked in horrible pain during a pregnancy related event was when I went to ER after my last ectopic ruptured. I told the triage nurse that my OB had suggested I may have an ectopic (I told him I didn't, and even if I did I would do nothing till the preg. ended itself. He gave me the list of "watch out for"s and told me to come in at the slightest hint of pain. He knew I'd know because I'd done it before.) and that I was now certain it was because I was positive it had just ruptured because I had had the same thing happen just 5mo ago. Surgery please.

Stupid me, I went to the local hospital instead of my preferred hospital


She asks, "Are you pregnant?"
Me, "Um, yeah.... technically a person is pregnant if they have an ectopic PREGNANCY."
Her, "Did you have a positive pregnancy test?"
Me, "I just told you my OB told me I might have an ectopic! Do you know what an OB does???"

All the while during and between horrendous constant transition-like contraction pain, she's going down the stupid flow-chart list of questions even though I had answered ALL of them with my first sentence to her!

Me, "You do know that a ruptured ectopic means internal bleeding? Possibly severe?"
Her, "I'm sorry but I have to fill this out."
Me, ""

Finally I get admitted, looked at, and DISCHARGED with RLP. Went straight to my preferred hospital and they sent me straight to OR for emergency surgery. That's why I have never been back to one of these local hospitals and I don't take my kids there. These two local hospitals are the epitome of the "bad hospital" that anyone can describe. That was the dumbest most annoying "nurse" I have EVAR encountered. I filed a complaint against her alright and sent a little note to the doc letting him know what he shrugged off and that had I simply done as he suggested and "rested" I would be dead now. "Try listening to your patients instead of assuming you know everything already next time."