Stupid Things People Say at Births.... - Page 22

[amberskyfire]

Originally Posted by Sioko

I filed a complaint against her alright and sent a little note to the doc letting him know what he shrugged off and that had I simply done as he suggested and "rested" I would be dead now. "Try listening to your patients instead of assuming you know everything already next time."

: Did we have the same doctor?!
I felt that I had an ectopic with my third pregnancy and went to the OB to have it checked out. He didn't even examine me or see me in an examining room. He heard I had come in to have a possible ectopic checked out and took me straight to his OFFICE where he saw me behind his desk and calmly informed me that I "did not have an ectopic pregnancy." Yes, he could apparently tell this JUST BY LOOKING AT ME. Just another case of doctors refusing to hear a woman who suspects something might be wrong with her because goodness forbid a patient might actually know what's going on with their own body.

He refused to test me several times and finally lost his temper with me and I left crying. I took myself to the nearest hospital and begged them to help me and they took me in the emergency room and assigned me a new OB. I was rushed to the tech room to get an ultrasound.

Guess what they found growing in my right ovary?

And what happened when I called the previous OB's office and told them what happened and asked why I didn't get care that could have saved my life? They told me I was never allowed to call there again and that they were destroying my file.

Nice.

[aurora_skys]

Originally Posted by amberskyfire

They told me I was never allowed to call there again and that they were destroying my file.

Nice.

is that even legal?!?! how scary, they could have, in essence, killed you! kudos to you for taking things into your own hands!

[kmb9906]

I flew through transition and after moving me to the birthing room, a nurse checked me. She said, "ooooo, you're 9.75 cm ... I'll be back in 20 minutes, don't push until then." (Can you even tell a difference between 10 cm and 9.75cm?) Note, I had been wanting to push for 30 minutes now. She walked out the door and I turned to DH and said, "you go tell her to get back in here RIGHT FRICKING NOW ... I am pushing NOW!" DH didn't know if I was serious because that meant leaving me as I was 10cm and preparing to push on my own. I told him to go. I listened to my body and pushed through the first contraction by myself. The nurse came back, checked, and said, "wow, you got to pushing really fast!"

How long was she expecting it to take for me to dilate .25 cm?

[Celticqueen]

Originally Posted by kmb9906

I flew through transition and after moving me to the birthing room, a nurse checked me. She said, "ooooo, you're 9.75 cm ... I'll be back in 20 minutes, don't push until then." (Can you even tell a difference between 10 cm and 9.75cm?) Note, I had been wanting to push for 30 minutes now. She walked out the door and I turned to DH and said, "you go tell her to get back in here RIGHT FRICKING NOW ... I am pushing NOW!" DH didn't know if I was serious because that meant leaving me as I was 10cm and preparing to push on my own. I told him to go. I listened to my body and pushed through the first contraction by myself. The nurse came back, checked, and said, "wow, you got to pushing really fast!"

How long was she expecting it to take for me to dilate .25 cm?

Wow.

-Caitrin

[kmb9906]

Originally Posted by Baby Makes 4

I was 19 when my first baby was born. I managed 20 hours without drugs before I asked for some pain relief.

The nurse's response?

"Next time, use a condom."

She left and never did come back with drugs. She was obviously trying to teach me a lesson. :

How horrible. I'm really sorry she said and did that to you.

[Nodtveidt]

Our first daughter was born in the hospital. I was not allowed to be with my wife during her labor. The nurse who was "attending" her kept telling her to "shut up!". If I had known about this, I would have had quite a few words with her...well that is, if she would have been able to understand me (I didn't speak a lot of Spanish back then). But the real knucklehead was me...I used to always ask my wife is she's ok whenever she was having problems (she had pain often and I always made sure she was gonna be alright). So, when the baby was ready to come out, they rushed to the WR to get me, and I struggled with the stupid undersized garments they gave me (I'm a big guy, guess they're not used to having a six-foot-tall gringo in their hospital). Just made it in time. So then I said..."Are you okay?" to my wife. She screamed "NO!!!!!!!" and I felt like a complete idiot. Fortunately, she doesn't even remember that part, though I've told her about it a few times. The rest of the hospital stay went pretty well, no major mishaps.

Our second daughter's birth was a UC at home, and that's where it was supposed to stay but it didn't work out that way. There's more than one "stupid things people say" involved there. Thread is here:
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=929259

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by amberskyfire

They told me I was never allowed to call there again and that they were destroying my file.

Nice.

You should've sued, reported him to his licensing board and your insurance, company the practice to the BBB (not the most effective watch dog, but they at least put out ratings of businesses) and, if it wouldn't hurt your case, written a letter to the editor of your local paper.

[majikfaerie]

:
funny, i used to be so against all the american sueing and legal action and stuff. but this thread has totally changed my mind.

[white_queen_22]

Originally Posted by amberskyfire

:

Guess what they found growing in my right ovary?

And what happened when I called the previous OB's office and told them what happened and asked why I didn't get care that could have saved my life? They told me I was never allowed to call there again and that they were destroying my file.

Nice.

Are you serious? Did you try to call back? I would have called back and requested a copy of your medical records "as allowed by state and federal guidelines. Please send ALL records immediately."

Un-believable. And yet.....

[amberskyfire]

Originally Posted by white_queen_22

Are you serious? Did you try to call back? I would have called back and requested a copy of your medical records "as allowed by state and federal guidelines. Please send ALL records immediately."

Un-believable. And yet.....

Yep, I tried that. They actually threatened ME with legal action if I kept harassing them. They were acting like I was attacking the doctor and everything. It was horrible I would have pursued it further, but I was already in a bad state and the stress was making me psycho. I really didn't think it all through. Now it's far too late.

[Flower of Bliss]

My labor with DD was hard and fast. It was a hospital birth. Labor started at about 6 am. I didn't decide I was really in labor until around 7am. My plan was to labor at home for a long time until going to the hospital. I made it to the hospital at about 8:30 am in transition. The triage nurse clearly had no clue what to do with a woman who was really seriously in labor. She wanted me to sit on the table and do a 20 minute strip first while answering a series of medical history questions. Needless to say, I was way to far along to handle that. I kept getting up, going into the bathroom to labor over the toilet, and stripping. I kept pulling off all of my clothes, pulling off the hospital gown, etc. I was so very hot. At some point DH left to get me water (actually I was told I was only allowed ice, so he brought it to me in the bathroom and filled it with water in that sink )

While he was gone and we were alone in the room, the triage nurse asked me if there was "any abuse". I was so confused by the question that I had her repeat it several times. Yes, that sweet man taking care of me while you ask me a million questions and try to keep me on a table is abusive and I thought that in the middle of transition while in triage was the time to discuss it with you.

So, I'm back on the table. I think at this point she'd given up on the 20 minute strip and was going to do a vaginal exam. She wanted me to put a sheet over my legs for the exam. I was way too hot to consider covering up with a sheet (it was a real sheet, not just a paper thing). I refused it. She told me I needed to do it "for privacy" : We were in a closed room. The only people in the room were myself, my DH, and the nurse who was about to do a vaginal exam. I replied "whose privacy???" It was just plain funny.

Once she did the exam (without the sheet) she exclaimed "OH!!! You're at least a 5. You must have done lots of laboring at home." I hadn't labored at home long at all. It was just moving very quickly. I'm guessing that she didn't know how to check past a 5. She then ran out of the room never to be seen again.

Once I was in my room, I continued to labor over the back of a toilet. I walked into the room at one point and my nurse told me that they wouldn't do another vaginal exam until I was ready to push. I replied "I'm ready to push". DD was born at 10:43am. We had an on call ob deliver, but he was awesome. He asked for my birthplan, read it, and followed it carefully : He did perineal massage with mineral oil. DD was immediately put on my chest. He had DH cut the cord after it was done pulsating. He then discussed options for pain relief before sewing up my 4th degree tear (she was a compound presentation with her hand at her head). The stitching, even with the local, was definitely the most painful part of the delivery.

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by amberskyfire

Yep, I tried that. They actually threatened ME with legal action if I kept harassing them. They were acting like I was attacking the doctor and everything. It was horrible I would have pursued it further, but I was already in a bad state and the stress was making me psycho. I really didn't think it all through. Now it's far too late.

Not to late to write a review on those doctor review sites though!

And despite my "should have" above, I do totally understand not being up to pursuing something like that right after almost dying and having emergency surgery. I'm sorry, it was supposed to be more wishful thinking about the doctor and his practice getting shut down for good, but it did come across a bit like telling you off.

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by Flower of Bliss

He then discussed options for pain relief before sewing up my 4th degree tear...

Judging by some of the stories in this thread, that right there deserved a bouquet and/or a nice cake.

[amberskyfire]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

Not to late to write a review on those doctor review sites though!

And despite my "should have" above, I do totally understand not being up to pursuing something like that right after almost dying and having emergency surgery. I'm sorry, it was supposed to be more wishful thinking about the doctor and his practice getting shut down for good, but it did come across a bit like telling you off.

I didn't have to have the surgery, thankfully. It hadn't ruptured yet and the doctor at the hospital told me that I didn't have to lose an ovary. He said that almost all ectopics resolve on their own as a miscarriage and are reabsorbed, so he let me stay in the hospital under observation until they were sure it wouldn't rupture. It did a tiny bit, but it was all absorbed and I was happily pregnant again three months later with both ovaries intact.

YAY for docs who listen! :

I *didn't* die and it didn't end up being an emergency, but I DID have an ectopic and the first OB should have checked me. If it had ended up being life-threatening it would have been bad.

[Serenyd]

During labor with my first son, my MIL had the gall to ask me if I wanted to come to her sex toy party after the birth ..... and kept cracking dirty jokes the whole time (in front of staff, I was mortified) and using my telephone to call her friends and give them the play-by-play, running around the room like a chicken with her head cut off and in general making an ass and a collassal nusiance of herself. All I could do was lie there and glare at her!!! I barely knew the woman or I would have told her off. Needless to say she's not invited to any of my other births. At the end I complained because the doctor gave me an episiotomy without telling me, and she and my mom said that "he gave you 3 chances to push him out before he cut you!" and "everytime you pushed the baby kept slipping back in!" - like it was my fault he got impatient and sliced me open cause it was 1 am and he wanted to go home. :

[~crystal~]

I am not quite sure where to start on this one! My last birth (out of 4) was my second home birth. My water broke 24 hrs before labor started. After I made it to 7 I started reversing my dialation and was transfered. Once in the ambulance (looking back-probably in transition) they a)had me lie flat on my back and straped me to the bed. b) asked me all those stupid questions height, weight, (I love this one) nationality!! Then the paramedic decided to lecture me on the unsafe practices of not going to the hospital when my water broke! I quit talking to him at that point but he kept asking questions until my husband told him I was done talking!

The hospital staff was great. After about an hour of different positions etc. We all decided it was best to do the c-section. While the nurse was preping me the baby just suddenly moved down to crowning. The doctor and a student doctor came in to deliver. After the baby was delivered and they were cleaning me up the student doc-with my feet in the stirups says "So are you going to try again for that girl?" (I have 4 boys) I had my wits about me to say "Did you see what I just pushed out? Only if you are pushing out the next one!" (My last son was 9lbs all previous were 7lbs 10oz or less) My husband was floored at my response.

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by amberskyfire

I *didn't* die and it didn't end up being an emergency, but I DID have an ectopic and the first OB should have checked me. If it had ended up being life-threatening it would have been bad.

Oh, in cases like that, I think the doctor should be responsible for the worst case scenario.

Yay, as you said, for doctors who listen!

[white_queen_22]

Originally Posted by amberskyfire

Yep, I tried that. They actually threatened ME with legal action if I kept harassing them. They were acting like I was attacking the doctor and everything. It was horrible I would have pursued it further, but I was already in a bad state and the stress was making me psycho. I really didn't think it all through. Now it's far too late.

I think they have to keep your records on file for a certain amount of time - like years. I'd seriously be tempted to call again and request my records now that it's been long enough you can't be accused of stalking. *rolls eyes*

Angela <><

[alexsam]

Yes- my husband is a medical professional and when I told him about this, he said there are laws about destroying medical files and that if nothing else you should request a copy of yours and seek action if they were in fact destroyed (he said he was suspicious that they wanted to destroy them so you wouldn't sue). He also said you could always file a complaint with whomever holds his certification, which would start an inquiry and if nothing else, leave a record with them of what happened.

[amberskyfire]

Originally Posted by alexsam

Yes- my husband is a medical professional and when I told him about this, he said there are laws about destroying medical files and that if nothing else you should request a copy of yours and seek action if they were in fact destroyed (he said he was suspicious that they wanted to destroy them so you wouldn't sue). He also said you could always file a complaint with whomever holds his certification, which would start an inquiry and if nothing else, leave a record with them of what happened.

Thank you very much! I'll see if I can find out who holds his certification. I'm not sure who, but there are only four OB/GYNs here on this island, so they probably are all from the same place.