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Stupid Things People Say at Births.... - Page 25

post #481 of 512
Having had four children at home, I know it is normal to yell, scream, yodel, make lots of noise during labor, passive and active. Anyone who tells a laboring woman to be quiet simply does not understand or know anything about the process, regardless of the letters after their name that someone else gave them.
post #482 of 512
If had had been in the mood during labor I may have laughed... or been extremely inraged at the following.

from a labor nurse as she noticed my cath bag being completely tinted red (bad insertion plus bladder tissue condition equals cath bag full of blood): "hmmm, I don't think it's supposed to be that color." duh!

from another labor nurse after she sneakily slipped me a sleeping pill I refused several times: "oh and BTW, that was a sleeping pill, and you'll thank me in the morning." I didn't thank her in the morning :

from my husband while I was cathed, on pit, and an epi, "I'm gonna order some Chinese delivery, you want any?" I hadn't eaten in over 24 hours at that point and wasn't allowed to even if I didn't feel a bit like puking. Oh, but I love him anyway

and the best and most comforting was from a recovery nurse. I called her into my room because I finally took a look at the damage and was a bit freaked at the amount of swelling. I told her my concern and she pulled my sheet back to take a look after assuring me swelling is "completely normal" and said, "oh..... OOHHHH! ..... that ISN'T normal." Gee, I felt so much better after her reassuring words.
post #483 of 512
I went through nearly 2 days of labor following many days of prodromal labor. I was in the hospital for 17 hours laboring away. The nurse whom I started out with left at 7am and came back at 7pm just in time for my completely drug free vbac.

2 hours later she was helping me go to the bathroom. I was a little shaky from pushing and sore b/c I had labored in so many different positions. As she was helping me along I said something about my bottom being sore but I'd take it over a c-section recovery.

She proceeded to tell me that she had a patient recently who was crying to her about having a c-section. So she told the patient not to worry b/c "a vaginal birth isn't all that!"

Why, oh why, would you say this to a VBAC mom????
post #484 of 512
im still reading these, but i wanted to add mine:

DH as im BEGGING for drugs at about 8cm... "you dont need drugs, you're fine" i wanted to punch him.

the best was ME though, as soon as he was born (his head was cocked to the side, and there were people standing around prepared to vacuum if i didnt push him out)
"am i done?! is it over? am i done?!" lol i know, i probably should have been concerned about the baby, but i didnt know there was an issue with him (he was floppy) i just wanted to know if i was done!
post #485 of 512
Quote:
Originally Posted by applejuice View Post
Having had four children at home, I know it is normal to yell, scream, yodel, make lots of noise during labor, passive and active. Anyone who tells a laboring woman to be quiet simply does not understand or know anything about the process, regardless of the letters after their name that someone else gave them.
post #486 of 512
In the recovery room right after my emergency c-section (which was a homebirth transfer and something I planned and fought very hard not to have) my SIL said to me something like "And just think, you only experienced a fourth of what the real pain of labor is like". This was after 13 hours of completely unmedicated childbirth followed by another 9 of a downward spiral of interventions I didn't want due to "failure to progress". Talk about rubbing salt in a fresh wound!
post #487 of 512
Quote:
Originally Posted by applejuice View Post
Anyone who tells a laboring woman to be quiet simply does not understand or know anything about the process, regardless of the letters after their name that someone else gave them.
If someone told me to be quiet during labor, I would probably yell (louder than I had been) opius amounts of profanity and inappropriate language, and never apologize for it
post #488 of 512
Quote:
Originally Posted by kalirush View Post
Jeez, yeah. One of my first pushing contractions, I just let out this looooooong scream, and the OB gave me this nasty, condescending speech about not doing that. I knew it was counterproductive. I didn't intend to keep doing it. But *#$@ you, #@(%#. I would have told her what you told your nurse except that I was totally nonverbal at that point. I thought it, though. Like CRAZY.
Yep. I sucked in every bit of energy I could and put everything I had into pushing through one of my early contractions. I refused to think of anything else other than pushing, so I ended up yelling. The OB nurse promptly told me I was not to yell as it would waste my energy and "scare the other moms-to-be." : Ummm, yeah, thinking about NOT yelling while pushing takes a whole heck of a lot more energy than just doing what comes naturally.
post #489 of 512

This is a "way back" thread I came across today when looking through the forum. Thought I'd bump it up as it's a really interesting discussion I'm sure there's lots more to add to it. smile.gif What stupid things have been said to you at birth?

post #490 of 512

-I- actually said the "WTF?" moment in my labor with DS... I was crowning when my midwife went to check to see if the cord was around baby's neck.. I started BAWLING and was like "Oh no, please don't push him back in!" 

With both my kids my MIL said I had "easy" deliveries, uh no. When the baby is coming out of your vagina, you have a say in if it was easy or not.

post #491 of 512

As I am pushing my daughter out at home, the MW asks:"Do you want me to use a warm or a cold cloth for perineal compression?" I was like "I don't f-ing care". Seriously, you're the expert, no? Then a minute later she asks "Do you want to touch the head?" and I, unable to move a single muscle yell "Just get it OUT!" She was born about a minute later, no tearing. I never asked the MW what temperature cloth she had ended up using :)

post #492 of 512

Oh geez, where to start....

During my first labor when I was not pushing successfully the nurse looked irritated when she asked what class we had taken and the reply was that we had not taken any.  It surely didn't have anything to do with the fact that I was totally numb from the epi and couldn't feel a darn thing.  I couldn't even keep my right leg on the table because it just kept falling off.

 

At some point during my 3 hours of pushing (after about 48 hours of labor) someone from billing came in to tell us that we owed money and it needed to be paid before the end of the day.  ???  The nurse looked at her and said, "Um, we're having a baby here!"  2 days after coming home  we looked at the paper she gave us...it had a different person's name on it. 

 

After a horrible birth experience ending in a c-section and being separated for a long time in recovery I finally had my wits about me enough to remember I should try to nurse DD.  Just as we were finishing a NICU nurse walked in and said, "Oh good you're done.  We're stealing her, she's ours now."  If she was trying to be funny, it didn't work.

 

With DD2 we planned an HBAC and ended up transferring for another c/s.  The day after one of the nurses was basically commenting on how unsafe home birth was and told me, "You know , this isn't the first time we've seen her in here."  in reference to my midwife.  I just ignored her.   Uh, ok, so she brings women to the hospital when it's needed.  That's bad why?

post #493 of 512
Quote:
Originally Posted by alaskanmomma View Post

-I- actually said the "WTF?" moment in my labor with DS... I was crowning when my midwife went to check to see if the cord was around baby's neck.. I started BAWLING and was like "Oh no, please don't push him back in!" 

With both my kids my MIL said I had "easy" deliveries, uh no. When the baby is coming out of your vagina, you have a say in if it was easy or not.

 

My mom and everyone kept/keeps insisting that my birth with DS (VBAC, 10 lb 7 oz), was "difficult." I keep trying to tell them that actually, no, it wasn't bad at all. I did get an epidural, but could still feel the need to push, felt pressure, was being vocal (though DF says not that bad), but it was *so* easy (compared to what I thought/was made to believe it would be. Not that it was like, *sneeze* and baby is born, but... the way my mom made it out... seemed... impossible.), though I think it could have been a bit better if I had actually had some *sleep* the night(s) before. DD was *so* excited to be a big sister, she didn't sleep for three days before I went to be induced. Kid no sleep = mama no sleep = exhaustion early on in labor. Not fun. orngtongue.gif

post #494 of 512
Nothing too bad at mine except being a first-timer, I didn't know how far along I was and they certainly didn't think I would go fast, so they were asking me some demographics questionnaire while I was in transition. I was actually answering most things pretty quickly and they were understanding about pauses for contractions or DH chiming in, but if any of us had known how close I was to giving birth, I think it would have been skipped until after! (I got to the hospital ~4pm and gave birth a bit after 6pm).

I had gone to the bathroom when they wheeled me into the delivery room from triage (I was 5 cm supposedly at triage) and when I got up off the bed I felt everything shift. I peed and was feeling a lot of pressure, so I asked the nurse to check me. She agreed, but I could tell she was basically humoring me, but when she checked me and I was complete everyone freaked out. It was actually pretty funny, but honestly a bit silly eyesroll.gif One nurse is immediately on the phone to my OB telling him to come in NOW and the other nurse is telling me not to push, but I hear my OB yelling at them to not tell me that, I can push if I want and if he doesn't make it the on-call OB at the hospital can handle it. He also scolded them to calm down and turn the lights down when he arrived as they were all still running around like chickens with their heads cut off.

The OB from the practice did make it and he said something like "We'll meet after, here is a quick primer on pushing." when he came in and a little later when my pushes weren't very productive (I just couldn't get the knack of it, pushing was very weird to me) he joked something like "Don't worry about pushing too hard, see this young intern back here, if the baby comes flying out he'll catch her don't worry!" And he was very congratulatory of my fast, drug-free birth and made sure to get me a local before stitching up my 2nd degree tear (nuchal hand!)

Honestly, I had a really great hospital birth and all of these were more funny than bad, I only ran into one mean nurse postpartum and she wasn't that bad. I think it definitely helped that I came to the hospital so late so they didn't have time to do much and that my OB practice while not perfect is pretty good. Like I didn't have to worry about a surprise episiotomy as they were as horrified by those that did them routinely as I was.
post #495 of 512

My midwife had another birth overnight before I came in the following morning.  She was clearly tired, but I felt she was sort of pushing for things to progress more quickly, not that they progressed slowly, my daughter was born ~3.5 hours after I got there.  My labor, as is completely normal, slowed down when we left my house to go to the birth center, but my midwife questioned my sister, sort of like, this is all she is laboring, as though we came in too early...I was 7-8 cm when she checked me.  We did not want to break the water, and had even told her that we thought it would be cool if our daughter was born in the caul.  However, after a little while (and again, we weren't even there that long, it was probably after two hours of laboring in the birth tub by ourselves (she was resting in the other room and I like that we had our own space to labor and I think she knew that, but dammit, I paid extra to labor in the birth tub, so why was I being rushed!), she said if things didn't move along she was going to break my water, this was our first child, and my husband and I felt like maybe she knew best, even though it wasn't what we discussed.  Luckily, my sister and doula stepped in to talk to us about not letting her break my water, and the water ended up breaking on its own right before the midwife came back. Then after the baby was born, I had some labial tearing and they were looking at it talking about how bad it was (I believe the word "flaps" was used) and trying to figure out the best way to stitch it up eyesroll.gif. Uhm, you're talking about sewing up my lady bits and you're not sure how to do it, and talking about how terrible it is right after I had my first baby?  My husband was pissed! I was too focused on getting finished up and getting to hold my daughter again, but later I was really angry that it seemed they moved forward with stitching me up instead of referring me to the hospital or someone who knew what they were doing. Luckily, I healed up just fine. Through the whole birth, I felt like I was imposing on my midwife because she had been at a birth the night before, and I felt sort of short-changed on my birth experience because of it.  I understand that she was tired, and it sucks that she had two births, but the other midwife who was there to help out was completely supportive and patient and kind throughout the whole birth, and she had also been at the other birth. We've decided to just have our next child at the hospital and to be very clear on our birth plan. I figure from the time my sister had her baby in the hospital 10 years ago, things have changed with hospital births for the educated pregnant woman, and I talked to a woman in my Bradley class who had an excellent birth in the hospital and all of her wishes and birth plan were respected.

post #496 of 512
Dumbest thing I heard was from my DH. Right while I was in the violent throes of transition, it was only my profound and undying love for the man that stopped me from throttling him when he said, "Why don't you try some of your yoga breathing, honey?"

I don't remember responding: "F^%$ MY YOGA BREATHING!!" But I'll take his word for it that I did. winky.gif
post #497 of 512

In the middle of pushing my DH offered me triscuits and cheese, my midwife and I gave him an incredulous look and laughed at him.

post #498 of 512

What a great thread!

 

I had very supportive nurses for my natural birth, but the on-call OB was not at all.  I was busy pushing, breathing and moaning through the pushes, and she told me I needed to hold my breath for each push.  "You're never going to get that baby out pushing that way." irked.gif

 

Funny moment was from me, I had a head cold when I went into labor, and when I was in transition I got up on my hands and knees on the bed.  My nose started dripping like crazy.  Somehow in the middle of moaning through the contractions that were one on top of another, barely able to speak, throwing up from time to time (for which all I could say was "Sick!" and my DH would shove a pan under my mouth), I was able to politely ask, "Can I have a Kleenex, please?"  The nurses found it hilarious that I was able to ask so nicely, and did rush to get me my Kleenex. lol.gif

post #499 of 512

Oh, that's a bunch of crap! I had to get stitched up after DS1, and the newbie (teaching hospital) kept trying to stitch me up without pain relief. DH had to keep remind him I didn't have an epidural. I don't know what took him so long to figure it out. Sheesh! That needle hurt worse even than pit contractions.

post #500 of 512

My labour with Ds2 progressed very fast (90 mins total), and we were at home waiting for the midwives to arrive for our homebirth. DH asked if he could quickly call his parents, just to let them know we were in labour. He left our bedroom where I was labouring to make the 'quick' call while I dealth with yet another contraction. A few minutes later, I hear DH chit-chatting, asking his dad about their weather (they live 4 hours away). LOL Poor DH, he was a little panicked that the midwives hadn't arrived yet and I guess this was his coping mechanism. Ds2 was born just a few minutes after that weather convo :)

 

I laugh everytime I think of it now, but at the time I wasn't too pleased! I love that man :)

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