I need a fast answer! HIV movie 2nd grade? - Page 5

[oceanbaby]

Originally Posted by wonderwahine

kids need to be exposed to the fact that its a scary disease because they could easily contract it from touching someones open wound on the playground! they need to be taught not to touch blood that isnt their own unless they have gloves on. I can't believe someone would bury their head in the sand and not teach their kids the safety aspects of this.

That's completely different than sitting kids down and showing them a movie. I can't speak for anyone else, but I'm not talking about refusing to discuss basic hygiene with my kids. We've already talked about why nurses/doctors wear gloves.

[redebeth]

You know, I really wanted to give up on this thread because no one seemed to understand what I'm saying. I'm not a bigot, and I have no need or desire to try and prove that either.

Ocean baby seems to, though, so that is something.

When my son went to public school he became very germ fearing because of the teacher's attitude and all the purell everywhere. To this day, he will only share a drink with me, no one else. Forget food, or anything else. He knows all about germs and viruses. I hope he never takes microbiology because he will probably lose it completely. He has a tendency to take these things seriously.

When I listen to NPR in the car, my son has headphones on listening to the white stripes or something. I gave them for him for this purpose, because I don't let him listen to a lot of things reported on NPR.

This makes me sad because I didn't realize how many people seem to take pride in their children being exposed to 'more than the average bear'. My son is not sheltered, we deal with things as they come. Not when the school system dictates we should.

[mamawanabe]

Originally Posted by redebeth

This makes me sad because I didn't realize how many people seem to take pride in their children being exposed to 'more than the average bear'. My son is not sheltered, we deal with things as they come. Not when the school system dictates we should.

It probably depends on how you were raised, your temperment, and your child's temperment. I imagine this is why teh school send the permission slip home. Different parents will go different ways on this.

I watched the news and listed to NPR with my parents from day one. I used to lie in bed at age 7 and imagine myself on crossfire convincing the opposing guest that the death penalty was wrong. At 8 I used to listen to Joan Baez songs (mabel joy was my favorite - about a prostitue and the georgia farm boy who fell in love with her and ended up getting shot - prison Trilogy was another favorite). It was a rich and wonderful childhood for me and I will provide the same for my children unless I see that tempermentally they can't handle seeing the world in all its complicated beauty and injustice at a young age.

It is fine if you don't want your son to see the movie. It is fine that the school is offering to show the movie.

Good luck.

[queenjane]

Originally Posted by oceanbaby

You don't get how a disease that can kill you could be scary to a child?.

I was responding to this:

HIV/AIDS is scary for even adults

Lots of things are scary for kids....the monster under the bed is scary, thunderstorms are scary.

But if a parent doesnt allow the child to see the film, and wants to protect them even from the idea of diseases, such as HIV,....dont you think when that kid goes to school the next day *someone* (another child) is going to mention it to him?! How are you going to protect him from *that*?

Katherine

[oceanbaby]

Ask around - lots of adults think that a potentially life threatening disease is scary. I do. I think cancer is scary. Doesn't mean I think a person with cancer is scary.

If the other kids are talking about it, and ds wants to ask me questions, then we'll talk about it.

[queenjane]

Originally Posted by oceanbaby

Ask around - lots of adults think that a potentially life threatening disease is scary. I do. I think cancer is scary. Doesn't mean I think a person with cancer is scary.

If the other kids are talking about it, and ds wants to ask me questions, then we'll talk about it.

But you dont see how you can extrapolate "scary person with disease" from "scary disease"? Ryan White was harassed for the most part because people were scared, they were afraid for their children. Throw in some bigotry and ignorance, and it makes it that much worse.

I guess we're just different. I dont think its such a jump from labelling a disease scary to the person with the disease (you know, the person who can *infect* you with this scary disease) being considered scary.

I guess if you have the mindset that HIV is scary, then yeah, your kid might get scared when you are explaining it to them.

I just dont get how labelling any disease as "scary" is helpful to understanding that disease or to preventing discrimination against those with the disease.


Katherine

[oceanbaby]

We're just getting into semantics here. If no one was "scared" of getting HIV, then we wouldn't be talking about ways to protect ourselves from it. A lot of people think that something that can kill you is scary. You can substitute whatever word you like to use. I'm picking a word that my 7yo uses to describe things that worry him.

[wonderwahine]

Originally Posted by oceanbaby

Ask around - lots of adults think that a potentially life threatening disease is scary. I do. I think cancer is scary. Doesn't mean I think a person with cancer is scary.

If the other kids are talking about it, and ds wants to ask me questions, then we'll talk about it.

when kids think something is scary and dont understand it, they shun the person with it, that is why it needs to be taught in school

[caitryn]

Honestly, I agree with the concept of teaching some things as they come up. Some parents might actually be surprised at all the opportunities that can arise to bring up topics... at any age. It's more a matter of catering the teaching to the individual child, which can be EXTREMELY difficult in a public/private school setting. (My mom claims she spent a great deal of time un-teaching me and my sister while we were going to public school.)

Using HIV/AIDS as an example, I vaguely remember seeing news reports about Ryan White and others during the 80s and asking my mom about them. Mom would explain the basics to me of how the people were sick and other people were being stupid for not treating them like humans. After all, when someone gets the flu we should try to take care of them, give them medicine, make chicken soup, whatever. Why should another disease be different? Knowing it was a type of illness made me not want to go out and get it, but it didn't make me want to treat those people like less than dogs if I were to ever meet them or others like them.

My little sister opened the doors for conversation a little earlier. She was watching Saturday morning cartoons when one of the classic "Get drunk, get stupid, get AIDS" commercials came on. Since it was right in the middle of all the commercials about toys and cereals, she immediately said, "Mom, can I have AIDS?" That was a fun conversation that Mom still talks about.

As far as the movie, I agree with the previous posters about wanting to screen the film first or, at the very least, research the title online. If it's like most of the films we watched in school, a copy could probably be found at the public library. Is/was it a film geared specifically toward children like The Magic School Bus series or something? (I know there have been plenty of times favorite cartoon characters have been used in educational films.) If it were something like And the Band Played On, I would be iffy on the child seeing it depending on the child. That was a movie I actually didn't get to see until a college psychology class. I fully plan on having my child/children watching it when they are older, too, because it is the best one I've ever seen.

Regardless, since the OP did sign the slip allowing for the movie to be watched, I would make sure to discuss the movie thoroughly with the child as soon as school was out. It's always best to make sure the lines of communication remain open and that things can be clarified. It also gives the parent more ideas of what to talk about at home and if further study is immediately required. (Of course, this is all based completely on how I was raised since my first child has yet to arrive.)

[oceanbaby]

Originally Posted by wonderwahine

when kids think something is scary and dont understand it, they shun the person with it, that is why it needs to be taught in school

We homeschool, so I actually don't rely on school to teach my kids basic respect and acceptance of all human beings. We've got that covered.

[queenjane]

for those that say you have really sensitive kids and try not to expose them to negative things....how do you, for example, explain why they need to wear a helmet on their bikes or be in a carseat? I would imagine at some point, those conversations (esp for an older kids who is 7 or 8) would veer to "you can get a brain injury" or "you could die", no matter how much you sugarcoat it. How is that different from explaining that sometimes people get diseases that make them sick and could be fatal? i would guess that by age 7 most kids have been exposed to death in some form (whether through a relative dying, or a beloved pet, or seeing something in passing in the news), and so talking about a disease that could be fatal isnt a huge leap.


Katherine

[ThreeBeans]

Right. I don't tell my kids, "You have to use a car seat or you could be HORRIBLY MANGLED WITH PIECES FALLING OUT AND SEVERED LIMBS in a terrible crash AND YOUR HEAD WILL SMASH OPEN LIKE AN EGG AND ALL YOUR BRAINS WILL FALL ON THE PAVEMENT AND LOOK LIKE SCRAMBLED EGGS if you don't wear a helmet!"

I just say, "Wear a helmet so you don't get a boo-boo on your noggin". Or "We buckle up for safety!"


And you don't say, THE AIDS is a bad horrible disease that could KILL YOU! Seriously you could just be sitting around some day and someone sneezes on you and ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU ARE DYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYING! So don't have unsafe sex, kthnxbai, little 8 year olds.

No, we just say, "Some diseases can be transmitted with blood. There are lots of different kinds of diseases like HIV. That's why when someone gets a cut, you shouldn't touch it, and if you get a cut, you should tell a grown up right away."

Oceanbaby, I apologize for the broad brush strokes. I know that wouldn't apply to you

[redebeth]

Originally Posted by ThreeBeans

I'll be blunt. I think that the people who are saying OH NOZ! OUR LITTLE ONEZ CANTZ BE EXPOSED TO THE EVIL HIV!

are actually hiding a great deal of bigotry towards their misinterpretation of the disease. It's a 'gay' disease, it's a 'sex' disease and sex is bad and immoral!

And that attitude makes me feel ill.

You know, I was going to let this slide because you are obviously so wrapped up in making your point, no matter what I come back at you with you are simply not going to hear. But for the record...

I mentioned before when I was young my dad was an md in the military in the early years of AIDS/HIV. We lived in Texas for 3 years while he was doing his research in a very small community. He worked with monkeys and would tell me quite a bit about it.

In 5th or 6th grade, my father and I attended a meeting at the local Baptist (i think) church that many of my friends from school went to. We did not go to church, as my parents are atheists. It was an after hours thing and I remember it only vaguely, really only my dad doing alot of talking about AIDS and people getting up and leaving.

He was trying to explain to them that AIDS was not a gay disease.That anyone could get it. This wasn't taken well. In fact my best friend was not allowed to come over to our house after that. We no longer participated in the carpool, I had to take the bus which took hours to get home after school.

My parents are not activists. This was a solitary incident which ruined my social life in this small town until we moved a year later. (to SF by the way)

There I participated in the Shanti project in middle school, the Aids quilt in high school and had a great time growing up in San Francisco, going to the Castro every Halloween, and really, learning a whole lot about 'alternative lifestyles' as more of my friends had two mamas or dads (or one or the other), than had a 'traditional' family.

I am not a 'bigot'. I am not 'misinterpreting the disease'. I have a philosophy that I follow, and that is all. That frankly, I thought more people shared. You want to raise your kids as mini-adults, go right ahead. Mine will have a childhood, and not end up as jaded 13 year olds who have seen and heard everything.

I think before you go generalizing, you should remember that the more you think you know, the less you really do.

[the_lissa]

You know what? I am really tired of the attitude that people who disagree with you are raising mini adults or depriving their children of childhoods.

Warning 2nd or 3rd graders to not do blood brothers or sisters because of the possibility of blood borne diseases in not robbing them of a childhood.

I think you are way underestimating children and their abilities.

[SarahGuinn]

Originally Posted by redebeth

Mine will have a childhood, and not end up as jaded 13 year olds who have seen and heard everything.

This makes me incredibly angry. You have some nerve.

My kids know about AIDS because my friend has it and my neighbor has it and often is extremely swollen because of steroid treatments.

My kids are having a joyful and fabulous childhood. They just happen to live in our reality, not the one you would like to create for your children based on your crappy experience of having your social life ruined.

And to another poster, this isn't about pride. You can be sad as you like for our children and I'll feel sad for your extremely sensitive children as well having to wear ear plugs and listening to the white stripes instead of listening to current events.

[grniys]

Originally Posted by ThreeBeans

I'll be blunt. I think that the people who are saying OH NOZ! OUR LITTLE ONEZ CANTZ BE EXPOSED TO THE EVIL HIV!

are actually hiding a great deal of bigotry towards their misinterpretation of the disease. It's a 'gay' disease, it's a 'sex' disease and sex is bad and immoral!

And that attitude makes me feel ill.

Um, wow.

Would I rather my child not be exposed to HIV? Of course! Why wouldn't I want to shelter and protect their child from all the harm in the world? I'd also my children not have to see someone they love die from cancer, as I have seen. I'd also rather they not see someone they love die of heart disease, as I have seen. I'd much rather my kids never have to know about the evil and violence in the world, also.

And yes, I'd really rather my kids never be at risk for something that would drastically change their lives and potentially kill them.

I don't think a person is wrong for not wanting to expose their child to the harsh realities of the world. They are innocent for such a short time that we naturally want to nurture that.

You don't want to shelter your child and want to let them see what HIV does and educate them, and that's fine. Your kids, your parenting, your choice. I don't think there's a right or wrong here. Different parents will have different POV's on this, and that's ok.

I just don't think a person is a bigot for not wanting their young child to not be exposed to the harsh realities of the world. Just as I think a parent isn't horrible and jading their child and ruining their innocence for letting them see a movie about HIV in school.

I just don't get the lack of tolerance these days on other people's parenting decisions.

[redebeth]

I'm the same poster BTW. I never said anything about pride, so I don't know what that is all about.

I'm being called a bigot and defending myself and you are incredibly mad? Okay.

If we had friend with HIV then my kids would know about it, we'd talk about it, no big deal. I'm not saying that makes them jaded.

My point is, where does it stop? Why not deal with things as they get brought up? I've repeated myself over and over.

I'm not judging anyone's parenting, sorry if it sounded that way, I phrased it poorly.

I have my answer and I'm fine with it.

[SarahGuinn]

Oh, you're judging.

You last post and the one directly before that are completely opposite of each other.

I think you are being called a bigot, although I didn't say it, because AIDS and HIV aren't just a disease, it's about people. It's not a singular cell walking around looking for other faceless cells. It's people, so that is how someone could come up with the term bigot in response to not wanting to talk to your children about it. It's like not wanting your children to know about a religion's followers or something.

Wait, I'm a bigot, I don't want my children to know about Scientologists.

Anyhow, it doesn't begin or stop, it's called living your life and handling things as they come. It doesn't always come in the form of a friend or family member, sometimes it comes in the form of a film to help prep your child appropriately. It's brought up, you turned away. You're happy with that. Okay.

[wonderwahine]

my son will grow up watching rent along with me and his dad, he will be taught all about HIV when he asks, he will be taught the safety aspects of it and also that they are not people to fear on the playground, I hope he does become one of those "jaded" 13 yr olds.

[alexsam]

You know, to us its all about the right information at the right time. I volunteer locally for an AIDS organization. I wear my little red ribbon (and so does my son- he wanted one), my son goes to the clinic/office, etc. He is 3. Right now, to him AIDS is something that makes people sick, and we all know what being sick is like so we try to help them feel better. Someday we will get to the next stage. Someday he will know the whole story. In time. But not now. Right now he is learning compassion, seeing his mother treat people with HIV/AIDS with respect, etc.

And just FYI- AIDS is no longer the death sentance it was in the '80s. There is no cure, but HIV is now considered a fairly manageable long term illness and those with HIV can often lead long and healthy lives.

There are many things we take this approach to. We are Jewish. The holocaust is a major part of our modern history and our own family history. We absolutely address the holocaust- but at an age appropriate level. At 3 years old, we talk about treating people kindly. We talk about standing up for others. We talk about exclusion and how that makes people feel. We talk about being Jewish. But we have not used the word "holocaust" and don't intend to for a while. But little by little it will come out, each stage bringing a few more facts, a few more ideas when DS has the maturity to understand them (as best as anything like the holocaust could be understood). We discuss sex, but at 3 years old that means talking about respecting our bodies and others bodies. It means giving names to our body parts and learning how to care for our own hygene. We talk about different kinds of love.

I believe it is totally appropriate (and necessary) to discuss hygene related to blood to children (without the scare tactics- but in terms of "staying healthy"). And I don't think that 2nd graders need to get into the nitty gritty of AIDS but can be able to build compassion for those impacted by it.

Life is complex and there is lots of pain in the world. It is really not about "avoiding it" or "protecting kids from it" but talking about things in a way and at a time that they can come to build an understanding of the world that comes from a sense of security, truth and compassion.