I thought that would be unclear as I was writing it! What I meant was that you limit the number of toys overall and those that they do have should be open ended. His rule is that, if it was being produced before the 1960s, it is probably good(lincoln logs,trains, blocks, legos, etc)
As far as how to change from child to family centered: here are some things we do. We do family bed. But, I dont do it past age two. When they are babies, they can go to sleep whenever and wherreever they want to. As they get older, we start having bedtime and they sleep in their rooms. They do not have to go to bed at that time, but they must stay in their room and play. This is Mommy time or Mommy and Daddy time, if he is home(he works nights). Since the big boys share a room, this actually becomes their special play time. If they start fighting, then my older son can go and lie down on my bed if he wants to(we are in the front room) or my younger one will come and sit on a chair in the front room. He caan read books or play quietly until he is ready to go back to bed. SOnce he is usually the instigator and since my oldest usually just wants to go to sleep, we have found this to be pretty effective. My younger son understands that this is quiet time and it does help him to unwind. Now, of course, if they need to come to our room to sleep, they absolutelly can. We have them bring their sleeping bags and they can sleep on the floor. They dont ask to very often though.
Also, once they get to about two, they start asking "May I have some _______ Please?" Instead of "I want" or "give me"
And when they are babies, they are kind of allowed to trample over other peoples games and take toys at will. SO, when they become the older brother, not only can they not do that, but they also have to learn to compensate for their little brother doing that to them. We will have big brother try to unterest baby in another toy, or maybe big brother goes adn sits at the kitchen table where baby cnt reach, but sometimes, big brother just needs to share.
They start having more chores as they get older too. My oldest feeds his dog. They both have to get dressed and make their beds before breakfast. I am beginning to have the younger one do the laundry. I stand there and help him weith it, but he thinks it is great fun.
SO, I think his website is www.rosemond.com
As I said, there are definitely things you will not agree with, but as they say at la leche league: Take the best and leave the rest
Edited to fix link!