Originally Posted by Kessed
GD doesn't mean "no discipline"... And that's what you're advocating. If your child is still hitting - at least weeks after he started - then you aren't doing anything about it.
Honestly, Kessed, you are speaking from a place of no experience. You have one child who is 18 months old. You have great theories of how you would nip this behavior in the bud if your child were to start, but in reality, if you were faced with a child who started hitting and didn't stop right away, you really have no clue what you would do. And I hope your child is not like that because I can tell you (and the OP has told us) that it's no picnic. It sucks to have a child who is hitting, or in my case pushing, a younger sibling over and over again. For months. For years. No. Matter. What. You. Do. It sucks.
And you know what, Kessed? Not all bad behavior is due to parenting, discipline, or lack thereof, as you wholeheartedly believe right now. Of course that's what you believe. You have one 18 month old child. You have it easy, mama. And I do hope that it continues that way for you.
But some children cannot control their impulses. And it has nothing to do with parenting. My oldest pushes. He's done it for about 3 years, and he cannot control it. He has to push. I recently discovered that he has sensory processing issues. (Good god, there's a reason why he pushes! What a relief . . . and poor boy for getting into trouble for something he couldn't control.) There are physical "exercises" I can do now with him to fulfill his sensory needs so he will no longer have the need to push. But his pushing--which has been years of frustration, lots of discipline, big reactions, small reactions, every tactic we could think of, and from the start a very clear message that pushing is not okay, not ever okay, and times of incredible rage at his behavior--has nothing to do with my parenting. You, from your point of view on this thread, would undoubtedly condemn me as a terrible parent who obviously is not concerned that my child is hurting other children because this behavior lasted more that a couple of weeks. You would assume that I have done nothing about it. And you would be entirely wrong. As you are about the OP.
You have great ideals, Kessed, ideals that we all share that hitting is not okay no matter what, but you are out of the realm of your knowledge and experience here. Some children cannot control their impulses. Some learn to control it quite quickly. Some take a long time. Some can't do it at all. Each child develops at his or her own rate. You can't speed that up, no matter how much you dislike or disapprove of any behavior.