Weaning from the family bed?

[attached_mama]

My boys are now 4 and 5. I am ready to wean them to their own beds. My 4 year old stopped nursing almost a year ago, and I NEED some alone time to reconnect with dh who works a lot.

Here was our plan:
We bought them a cool loft bed with a slide attachment they love. We have a mattress underneath, so its more of a bunk bed, that will fit our cape cod ceilings. We made up a chart. After sleeping in their new bed (with mom and dad nearby in our bed) for 5 nights, they earn their slide attachment. In order to have the slide, they know Mom and Dad have to move our bed into our own room.

The first night went well, but last night not so much. My 4 year old came into our bed, even after some suggestions from me. We are very much into AP, but we would really like to begin the bed weaning.

Any advice??

[MaryLang]

I don't know to me that plan sounds a little too structured for a 4 and 5 year old. Our kids sleep mostly in another room right now, we parent them down together and then they are welcome to come join us in our room if they wake up in the night. I think night weaning at this age is easier when done in a very gentle manner, instead "making a deal" with them.

[BakerALM]

Does sound like a bit structured and once the "newness" of the bed wears off they might fall right back into their old pattern.

not sure what to suggest for that age since I only have one 2yr old currently.

[jenmk]

What we do is lay down with our boys in their beds at night. We read and then cuddle until they are asleep. At some point in the night, my 4 yo usually makes his way into my bed--this could be at 11 pm or 4:30 am, it varies. My 6 yo doesn't show up until he wakes in the morning.

That has worked for us, getting them to start out the night in their own beds, because as they've gotten older, they've stayed in their beds longer and longer. And, as I think about it, we're starting to get some nights that my 4 yo sleeps in his bed all night long--that's happening on a weekly basis now.

HTH. Good luck, mama.

[attached_mama]

Thanks! We do and plan to keep putting them to sleep at night. I guess i need to look for signs they will be more ready- I am scared they will wake up and freak out if we aren't there, its happened before if I go to the bathroom in the middle of the night! I want them to feel secure in knowing we are in the house somewhere, not just up against them. Even in the early mornings. I would like to take early AM runs while DH is still home before he goes to work, but if I try to sneak out of bed, they wake.

[BathrobeGoddess]

moved to childhood

[amcal]

We're really struggling with this as well. My girls are 5 and 6yrs old and I'm so ready for them to be in their own bed but the very mention of it sends my 6yo into hysteria. I have no idea what to do

[crlacey]

We too are trying to move my 2.5 yr old son and 5 yr old daughter into their own bed. Last night we put the futon mattress on the floor next to our bed. DD was happy to sleep there. She grabbed her sleeping bag some stuffed animals and went to sleep with no fuss. My DS was a different story, he fussed and crawled and flipped and kicked till he finally settled in to sleep. They did sleep there all night. I'm wondering if anyone else has any suggestions on how to make this a gentle transition for those of us trying to do this.

[swiesz]

no help here just in the same boat.
I sleep currently with my 5yo DS, my 3yo Ds and my 8 week old ds in our king size bed (while DH is in DS's room queen size bed)
both my DS's have queen size beds in their rooms
and my 3yo has to touch my "nummies" to fall asleep
first i have to wean him of that
i also think that my 5yo is jealous b/c he has to sleep on the outside and is not next to me so that has created some jealousy and meanness toward his younger brother.
now i need to know how to wean the 3yo from the nummies he has to touch
any ideas??

[miss_nikki]

Originally Posted by jenmk

What we do is lay down with our boys in their beds at night. We read and then cuddle until they are asleep. At some point in the night, my 4 yo usually makes his way into my bed--this could be at 11 pm or 4:30 am, it varies. My 6 yo doesn't show up until he wakes in the morning.

That has worked for us, getting them to start out the night in their own beds, because as they've gotten older, they've stayed in their beds longer and longer. And, as I think about it, we're starting to get some nights that my 4 yo sleeps in his bed all night long--that's happening on a weekly basis now.

HTH. Good luck, mama.

This is pretty much what I do too, although instead of waiting for my girls to fall asleep (they are 6 and a half and 4 and a half) I read to them, tuck them in, and then give them each a couple of books to read quietly to themselves.