Why is my 4yo suddenly pooping in his pants???? :(

[MomTo3Blessings]

Caleb just turned 4. He has been pooping in the potty for at least a solid year - no problems.

Suddenly he is having little accidents in his underwear 1-2 times a day. Its just a little and its not like he has a tummy issue and its loose. Its formed. He doesnt seem constipated - I make him sit on the toilet after he does it and he almost always goes.

He doesnt tell me when it happens either Im not sure if he is choosing this for attention or if its a health issue? He has no other physical symptoms.

We do have a TON going on in life right now - could that throw off such an established potty user (LOL)????? (we are selling our house/moving, new baby on the way, daddy has a new job with more hours, switched churches, just had a birthday, etc)

anyone been through this? thoughts?
TIA!

[nonnymoose]

You might be more aware than I am of when your son makes bathroom visits, but could you be finding the "afters" of previous trips to the potty? My son doesn't always think to wipe, or doesn't feel like it, or something. His undies are lovely.

[MomTo3Blessings]

i still wipe him so i always know when he's gone - he comes and gets me. and like i mentioned - if i make him go sit down he always goes. its like he needs to go but he's not going to the potty. i cant think of a reason why not?!

[DariusMom]

DS started doing this at around 4. We thought it was all sorts of stuff related to started pre-school, etc. Nope . . . he had a bit of constipation (very normal for kids his age). He liked playing so much and was never very patient on the potty anyway, that he held his poop. We didn't realize because he was pooping normally when he went to the potty. however, poop had kind of gotten backed up, so to speak, so he was having small "accidents" (more like skid marks, to be blunt!) from time to time.

Our family dr. gave him a gentle laxative and, after a week, it was fine.

You can post on the Health forum, too. They gave me some good advice about natural laxatives.

[MomTo3Blessings]

im thinking that may be what it is going on......ill go do some research on natural laxatives for him. Thanks! ill update if anything changes.

[eli's mama]

My ds (also recently 4) just had a simliar issue. With him I know it was that he didn't want to take the time out of playing to go sit on the potty. I can tell when he has to go so I was constantly asking and it made him so mad! He wants complete control over his bodily functions. So he would deny it if I asked and wait so long he would have a tiny accident before admitting he had to go. Finally, I had to train myself to say something other than "do you have to poop?" So he's fine now.

[Crazy Basil]

It seems to me that this happens pretty often with little boys, right around this age. Our DS did the same exact thing about 6 or so months ago.

I think they just get so enthralled with whatever they're doing that they don't want to leave it and then end up ignoring the urge to go until it's too late. For us, we'd been letting DS be pretty independent about going on his own, so when he started having accidents we went back to reminding him frequently and also having real potty breaks.

One thing that just recently I started doing, is when I ask DS if he needs to go and he says "No", I'll gently ask him again "Is this a time when you're saying no and you should be saying yes? Your toys/game/books will still be there when you get back, if you need to go, let's go to the bathroom." We'd had a couple times where I would ask him if he needed to go to the bathroom, he'd say no, only to have an accident 10 minutes later and asking him in this way seems to get his focus just enough off of what he's doing that he can stop and process what he's feeling and decided if he really needs to go or not.

We also talked A LOT about the feeling you get in your tummy and bottom when you need to go poop and how it's not good to ignore that feeling, and a lot of reinforcing that you need to stop what you're doing and go use the bathroom.

Past that, he still has some accidents occasionally, but it's gotten better. I really think it's somewhat of a phase, for little boys especially.

[MomTo3Blessings]

Thank you! Its so good to hear from others that have gone through this.

I am going to be conscious to feed him more "helpful" foods and less bananas and have him sit on the potty after meals. I also like the idea of talking about "that feeling" so he can be more aware of when he needs to stop and go. Its definitely happening during times of play where he wouldnt want to stop (quiet time, wrestling with daddy, etc)

hopefully it stops soon!

[runnerbrit]

You have just described what happened with my 6 yr old recently. We also have a new baby on the way, moved, I changed jobs, etc. etc. He had a few accidents and we really just did not make a big deal about it. Helped him clean-up and went on with the day.

What we did do was make sure that we spent a little more time focused on him. We also talked about how even though all of the changes that are happening are good changes they don't always feel good. Like moving; at the old house he had no yard to play in, now he has a big back yard and loves to play outside after school on the swingset. This really seemed to help and after about 3 weeks the "accidents" stopped.

[Crazy Basil]

Originally Posted by Crazy Basil

It seems to me that this happens pretty often with little boys, right around this age. Our DS did the same exact thing about 6 or so months ago.

I think they just get so enthralled with whatever they're doing that they don't want to leave it and then end up ignoring the urge to go until it's too late. For us, we'd been letting DS be pretty independent about going on his own, so when he started having accidents we went back to reminding him frequently and also having real potty breaks.

One thing that just recently I started doing, is when I ask DS if he needs to go and he says "No", I'll gently ask him again "Is this a time when you're saying no and you should be saying yes? Your toys/game/books will still be there when you get back, if you need to go, let's go to the bathroom." We'd had a couple times where I would ask him if he needed to go to the bathroom, he'd say no, only to have an accident 10 minutes later and asking him in this way seems to get his focus just enough off of what he's doing that he can stop and process what he's feeling and decided if he really needs to go or not.

We also talked A LOT about the feeling you get in your tummy and bottom when you need to go poop and how it's not good to ignore that feeling, and a lot of reinforcing that you need to stop what you're doing and go use the bathroom.

Past that, he still has some accidents occasionally, but it's gotten better. I really think it's somewhat of a phase, for little boys especially.

ETA: I try not to do the "asking twice" thing all the time, for fear of it losing it's effectiveness, but doing it when -I- have that mama-feeling that he really does need to go, even if he's saying he doesn't.

D'oh. I screwed up the editing on that. Sorry for the double post.