My Quirky 5 year old

[zipworth]

So....I have a very interesting, lovely, high-needs, quirky 5 year old boy. .He is very smart, and has an impressive vocabulary and general knowledge about the world around him. When he is engaged in an activity, I am amazed at how absorbed he is by his work. He has elaborate stories to go with his block structures, or car arrangements. He loves to listen to novels like treasure Island or Charlotte's web......However......

My son is a wanderer in his preschool classroom. He can't seem to engage himself in an activity unless the teacher forces the issue. I don't understand why he has a problem-the classroom is full of stuff he loves to play with at home! Even a real woodworking bench with real tools! I am an early childhood educator myself, but I have no idea why he has no initiative to choose an activity during unstructured times in the classroom. I wish I could do something to help him. He attends a wonderful Buddhist preschool. The teachers are excellent, there are only 14 children in the class. I am worried for him when he starts Kindergarden in the fall where he will be in a French Immersion classroom with 25 children and 1 teacher.

He refuses to pick up a writing instrument of any kind, or engage in any kind of art activity. His teachers have to coerce him to do art! I'm talking paint people! He will not use pencils, crayons, markers, paint nothing! I can't relate because I love all of that stuff. I always have it available for him, and I try not to pressure him. He can print his name, but doesn't seem to have any hand dominance, and uses both left and right hands interchangeably. He holds the pencil very awkwardly. My 2 year old DD seems to have a better natural understanding of how to hold a pencil than he does. How do I motivate him to have an interest in this stuff? I am stumped, and have no idea how to help him without using some form of coercion. Maybe he needs more help with his fine motor skills? He loves to use scissors, and is pretty good at it.

Thanks for reading, I hope there are some ideas out there for us!

He just turned 5 this May....could he just be immature or is there something else going on?

[aris99]

Hi,

There might be several issues here....first, I think your son is totally normal not wanting to settle on a particular activity. At 5 my kids are/were all over the place!

Secondly, the writing issue. My eldest had some degree of fine motor "weakness". She is left-handed but likes to switch hands while in the middle of a fine motor task. She had occupational therapy for awhile to correct this. The therapist wanted to see my dd using one hand for most tasks instead of switching. We got her a rubber grip for her pencils that encourages kids to maintain a proper grip. It's funny about your 2 yr old having a better grip on a pencil because my 2 yo also has a more natural grip than her 7 yo sister !

[LynnS6]

I would read "The Out of Sync Child" or "Sensational Kids" -- our son had to be coerced into art too and it was part of his sensory issues. If he's hypersensitive to things, then that might link both the refusal to do art and the extreme lack of focus -- it may be overstimulating to him.

An occupational therapist might be able to help with the handwriting issues if they haven't corrected themsleves in a year or so.

[luv2eatamango]

My son also just turned 5 in May. Last month we started seeing an OT for suspected sensory processing disorder (he was diagnosed with sensory defensiveness) and during the course of the evaluation, the OT did a few fine motor skills with him.

We were shocked to find out that he has an immature grasp with low hand muscle tone. He is right-hand dominant but also uses his left hand a lot. He loves to use scissors! He cannot stand the feeling of water, wet paint, etc. on his skin or clothes. Anyway, he starts Kindergarten at the end of July and we are a little bit concerned about getting him ready (strength-wise and changing his grasp) for the year ahead.

I am still in a bit of shock that I missed this; I think I just thought that the pencil holding would right itself? Basically we're supposed to do activities throughout the day (play with a weighted ball, play with a harder-than-normal playdough material, play with small magnetos, etc.) to help strenghten his hand muscles. We have also started a new handwriting program called Handwriting without Tears.

I responded to try to give you some advice but honestly, I am so new at this that I am not sure what to say. Been feeling overwhelmed because up to this point I thought he was just a wonderful high-needs spirited boy and now having this SD label and unexpected task of helping him with pencil holding/writing... I don't even remember how long he's been writing this way. I do know that he had excellent pincher grasp when he was younger. Sorry I'm not more helpful.

[zipworth]

Actually, this is all really helpful! Before I was a parent I was a preschool teacher for 7 years. I never understood why parents would freak out about stuff like this, now here I am! I always felt that all children would develope at their own pace. I still feel that way, but now I recognize a little help along the way isn't necessarily a bad thing.


Hmmmm....so, to strengthen fine motor skills...Magneatos?

Pasticene? Small Lego? Off to google....

Thank you for your replies! they were VERY helpful! Keep them coming!

[aris99]

Plasticene (hiding little pegs in the plastocene), silly putty, legos, wooden clothes pins that have to be squeezed to open them, a dress up doll w/buttons, zippers, small blocks for stacking, also my dd's OT recommended something like crayola's pipsqueak markers (short, stubby markers or crayons)....they are short and make it VERY difficult for kids to hold w/out the proper grip! Threading small beads is also great...my youngest dd who also needed OT likes to thread beads, shapes and her big sister's kinex!! Kinex is another building medium your son might like!

[4evermom]

Although my ds didn't like to try to draw or write, he liked mazes and would use a pen or pencil to draw a line through a maze. He kinda likes chalk because he can just rub out lines that he isn't happy with (a bit of a perfectionist, would rather not try if he isn't confident about good results).

In the classroom, maybe there is just too much activity (other people) for your ds to settle down into an activity easily. My ds gets involved in his toys when he is alone but he is more focused on interacting with other kids when he is with them. I can see he'd just sort of wander around if he were in school.