"Children are troopers"

[janasmama]

I was on a local parenting site reading a blog post about a pg mother who was wanting a natural birth. Every reply was basically discouraging from this but then they even added this....

After about 10 hours of sleeping through the rest of my labor - a total blessing because I needed the sleep - I was woken up and told that I need to push the baby out now. After 30 minutes of pushing, I was handed a beautiful, healthy baby boy. He was crying and cooing and alert and doing all the things he should do. This was a beautiful pregnancy. I got the much needed rest and came home with our child. I think it was worse sending him off for his "snipping". Then I knew I was voluntarily putting him in pain, but children are troopers. They can handle much more than we give them credit for. :

Read the whole story here It's the 9th comment.

"snipping?" "children?" Last I checked circumcision is far from a snipping and a newborn certainly is not a child!

I want to find that link to the circ video that is in this forum and post it on the site where I found this lady saying dumb stuff.

[bandgeek]

People are always saying that my DD is a trooper and "brave". She is NOT! She deals with everything because she has absolutely no choice. More than a few times I've wondered if it was worth it to keep her alive. She's not going to just bounce back from everything. Despite the obvious issues that have changed her (CP), she is changed because she was practically tortured her entire life. Her personality is different than it would have been. She retreats into her own little world when a painful preocedure is done on her. She doesn't even fight anymore, usually. She's never known a day without pain. But that doesn't make her strong...ugh...you can tell this is a sore subject for me.

Babies and kids (and anybody really) should not be forced to be "brave" or whatever the hell you want to call it.

Ok, off my soapbox now.

[janasmama]

you're right, children/babies shouldn't be forced to be tough. I'm sorry this is a sore spot for you. I'm disgusted at it also...

in a way, for adults to purposely put a child through something that "they can handle more than we give them credit for" is a form of mental abuse; maybe sometimes physical also. Just like you say, your dd "retreats." This is a form of coping.

I feel this is especially happening among boys in our culture. We think they ought to be tougher so we baby the girls and toughen the little guys, even when they need the same affection our girls do.

[mntnmom]

Children are amazingly resilient. But they shouldn't HAVE to be brave for a COSMETIC procedure. My heart goes out to moms and dads whose "little troopers" have been through horrible medical procedures. But I can summon very little sympathy at all for parents who voluntarily offer their child up for torture.

[bandgeek]

Originally Posted by janasmama

you're right, children/babies shouldn't be forced to be tough. I'm sorry this is a sore spot for you.

I'm not upset that you brought it up, just upset that people even think like this. I think this topic does need to be discussed though and I'm glad to be able to voice my opinion as a mom who has no choice but to have a "trooper" baby.

Babies ARE resilient, but that does not mean they are unchanged from their experiences. It's not like a baby boy who has his penis sliced up just goes right back into his day going, "Hey, I'm ok and in 5 years I won't even remember it!" He's pissed off and probably seriously having trust issues with ANY human at that point. We just can't tell how badly he's affected because he can't tell us.

[Dave2GA]

This reminds me of Edgar Schoen's contention in his book and elsewhere that "baibies are tough." Well, all humans are tough. But that begs the question of permanent useless bodily modification without consent and loss of protective and sexually important tissue. The cutters always ignore the significance of Taylor's ridged band and the Sorrells study that shows that the foreskin is the most sensitive part of the penis.

[calngavinsmom]

That comment embodies how most Americans view circumcision. They just don't GET it, you know? If they knew the reality(and the WHOLE truth behind it), I know it wouldn't happen as much.

BTW, the link to the video didn't work for me on there, in case someone can fix it.

Take care,
Tara

[phdmama06]

Originally Posted by mntnmom

Children are amazingly resilient. But they shouldn't HAVE to be brave for a COSMETIC procedure. My heart goes out to moms and dads whose "little troopers" have been through horrible medical procedures. But I can summon very little sympathy at all for parents who voluntarily offer their child up for torture.

: It amazes me how brave kids can be! My mother works for a children's hospital, and some of those kids go through SO much with such a brave face. However, I certainly would not sign my baby up to be a "trooper" if there was no real medical need for it.