[QUOTE=tropicaldutchtulip;11309859]I don't know if it's a north/south thing or not. My parents are from the north and I was raised in the south. So can't help you with that one! I was taught it's part of proper manners and will teach them to my children. I think it's very rude and disgusting "NOT" to say thank you and please and show resepct towards others! As we see everyday in our country! No one opens doors and such and shows respect towards others anymore. I still will call people older than me Mr or Mrs so-and-so until they tell me to call them something else or I ask them how should I address them! I don't feel belittled one bit! It was just how I was raised and something that I "DO" want to pass along to my children, both boys and girls!I don't agree with you and you don't agree with me, but no reason to get nasty and put me down just because I see something "different" than you! I don't see it as "power" but "respect"!!!!![/
I DO! I still open doors!!!! and hold them if someone is coming oup behind me... and I DON'T drop the door on them as they start to pass, but will hold it until they are all the way through!
|And me, thinking of maam and sir as a term of endearment, could not understand why someone would misuse it in such a way
|When my 75 year old father told a 20 year old waitress, "Thank you, ma'am," or answered the teller at a bank with, "Yes, sir," I HIGHLY doubt it was because he felt inferior. It is not submitting to their power, it's showing them a common respect and courtesy.
|Originally Posted by bellymama
it's regional. it's not disgusting. it's not abusive. some people say it, some people don't. i am cracking up over this whole "it's a huge plot to make people subordinate"....where's the tinfoil hat when you need it.
|I use sir and ma'am in my speech daily. The most common situation in which I use them is in a passing exchange (thank you, ma'am; excuse me, sir) with someone whose name I don't know (like a cashier or salesperson.) I think it's a nice way to address a stranger, since I don't know how to call him by name. I don't restrict it to people older than myself at all. And I have been called ma'am by a number of police officers, including more than one in the course of writing me a ticket.
|If a policeman pulls a man over, do they both call each other sir?
*nods vigorously* mm-hmmm YES! They do!
And agree or disagree or not, my nana, was NOT controlling or abusive or demeaning or any other silly name that implies that I was less than her and I was raised to say "yes, ma'am" "no, ma'am" "yes, sir" "no, sir" with the emphasis on the ma'am/sir, not the yes/no.
having you imply that just because my nana was raised in the south and was taught to say that, and she even said it to me
, was her way of trying to make ANYONE inferior is insulting to me and my family and rediculous
. Again I'll say
|where's the tinfoil hat when you need it.
Because, well, you must.
I still model it today. I still say Mr. even-if-its-a-really-long-hard-to-pronounce-last-name until I am TOLD explicitly that I
can call them "Bob". AND I give the respect of elders who are my friends grandparents and parents to call them grandma and grandpa and mom or dad, unless and until I am told to do otherwise (unless I am introduced to them as, "this is my grandpa, Mr. Soandso", then I call them Mr. Soandso.)
Why??? Because I can probably learn more from them than they can learn from me and I am young and still learning, and I respect that I can learn from their mistakes and accomplishments and not have to do it on my own! and I LIKE them for that. i apreciate them for that, even if some of their views are a little skewed, and I don't agree, I still appreciate that they have that view and can explain their logic.
Oh yeah, I was told, "Please say please." and "please say 'thank you'. Mr. Soandso gave you suchandsuch"
and then I said "yes, Ma'am" and did it,
and than I got the reply of "thank you, ma'am" (or miss, somedays, ma'am just flows better, somedays, I would even get "thank you, miss firstname!")
And I even address my SPOUSE as Ma'am when I'm not thinking. It's just natural. AND again I will say NOT DEMEANING IN THE LEAST.
Thank you SOooo much for letting me take a little of your time to have my little rant, I really do appreciate your patience and understanding. Y'all have a splendid day now!
.....Now THAT was self demeaning.
: Bite me.