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I don't know how I'm going to do this  

post #1 of 15
5/25/08 at 10:26am
Thread Starter 


I could use a hug.
post #2 of 15
5/25/08 at 10:42am
You don't know HOW but you know you will, right?

So just take your time and do whatever will make life easier while you go through this phase, because you know that's what it is, a phase of your life...

post #3 of 15
5/25/08 at 12:12pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by firstwomantomars View Post
You don't know HOW but you know you will, right?

So just take your time and do whatever will make life easier while you go through this phase, because you know that's what it is, a phase of your life...

Thank you. I know what needs to get done will get done. It's just all so scary and unknown right now. The unknown part is the worst. But I'm making a plan so things won't be so unknown for much longer.
post #4 of 15
5/25/08 at 1:49pm
The thinking about the unknown is actually more scary than starting to actually move into the unknown.

Hang in there. You will do it by continuing to breathe and continuing to put one foot in front of the other.

Hugs.
post #5 of 15
5/25/08 at 1:50pm
post #6 of 15
5/25/08 at 7:40pm
You will be okay. It's always seems more scary than it is. Really. I was a mess while pregnant, knowing I'd be all alone with a baby. I looked into the future and it was pure hell. But you know what? It's not anything close to what I imagined. I personally love single motherhood--you don't have to fight with partner or clean up after him, etc. Just you and your LO. Hang in there
post #7 of 15
5/25/08 at 9:56pm
post #8 of 15
5/26/08 at 12:24am
Hugs. I know how scary it is. I don't know if this helps or not but I don't really know how I'm going to do this either, but I have been doing it for three months so far! I wonder almost every day, and yet every day here I am, and I've done it and continued to do it. Take deep breaths. Drink a lot of water. Don't think of everything you have to do at once. Prioritize and take each item one by one, day by day. It may take several days, or weeks, to get the large things done. This is normal. And post whenever you need help or support!! Take care, you aren't alone.
post #9 of 15
5/27/08 at 12:53am
Something my therapist said to me when I was in shambles right after the separation still helps me today.

"Your life has to turn completely upside down, has to be totally shaken to get the dirt off, has to be unwoven completely in order to reweave it the way you want/need it to be"

Reminding myself this when I felt like my life was over (and it was, in one sense, but if I only knew just how good it would get!) helped to move on with the day after a good long crying session.

and here is a HUGE hug!!! Wish I could give you one in person, hang in there mama. Like emilyrose, I still don't know how I'm "going to do this" but I guess I've been "doing it" for 3 months now. We are all here to listen!
post #10 of 15
5/27/08 at 9:18am
OK so it isn't much consolation but I dont know how I am going to do it either. I also have trudged through three months. I am still here and still doing it. I am not doing it without pain and sorrow. I really love my STBX. I hate the pain he has put me and the kids through. But we are still here and will be months and years from now and it will get better. I do see the evidence of that in other brave mamas.
post #11 of 15
5/27/08 at 11:24pm
Another one here who has been doing it for about 3 months. Take one day at a time. Enjoy your precious DC and take care of yourself!!
post #12 of 15
5/27/08 at 11:50pm
post #13 of 15
5/28/08 at 12:36am


You really don't know how you do it; I know lately I've been super lonely, especially in the evenings when ds is asleep, but I just try to focus on one day at a time. If you can force yourself to do that it really does help. It's much less overwhelming than worrying about everything in life all at once. And you'll be amazed at how time flies by and good things start to happen to you.
post #14 of 15
5/28/08 at 2:35am


You feel like you won't get through this or you don't know how you will but trust me you will. I am so sorry you are hurting and I know, as most of us here do, how overwhelming and scary it feels right now. It will get better, it will get easier, it will get less scary, and you will get through it. I am 3.5 years into it and I remember when I was in your place and how scary it was and all I can give you is support and encouragement and hugs. You won't recognize yourself a year from now - it will get better. Come here to vent, or for advice, hugs, whatever, these women are fantastic and got me through many of my scary moments!

Hang in there mama.
post #15 of 15
5/28/08 at 2:47am
one thing at a time HUGS
budget your "fun" money now and make sure you find time to take care of yourself.
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