how can you get a almost 4 yr old to pick up

[MommytoB]

My son was in 3 yr old preschool until april 30th and he had no trouble picking up at school or at his grandparents house but he don't 'care what i say here ' I 'even 'suggested helping him ' when he makes a 'mess' but then he stays for 5 seconds & i'm left doing the 'work' .

I suggest picking out one toy at a time = he doesn't hear me & takes 3 toys out I go I told you one toy "only' so his 'response is to go back & get 3 more toys out.

Plus , he has a habbit of 'writing , smearing yogurt & pudding on walls, along with paint -so much I try to have him to try & help me 'clean' the walls but he doesn't even try he just does this little light pat & i'm left to do all the 'work' again'

He will 'clean for his 'grandma -help her fold her laundry & help her clean her house but why not me will he help and why will he do so great at 'preschool' but not here ?

grandma calls him her little helper why can't he become my little helper ?

[PassionateWriter]

is there any difference in how his GM gets him to help and you? i will sing the "clean up song"...often my son will walk away but more htan often he will help a little bit...its a learning process.

how are his toys organized? can you take pix of the toys and laminate the pix and make it a game to put the things with the pix?

maybe its that he isnt at "home" at GMs or preschool so doesnt feel as comfortable walking away from it.

[amcal]

I think kids are generally better behaved at gma's house or preschool etc.. But, you are the boss. If you say it's time to clean up, it's time to clean up. He may need you to be intimately involved in the process but I would not allow my children to make messes like that and then walk away when I ask them to help me clean up. Kids need to learn that there are consequences to their actions. A consequence of making a mess is having to clean it up. It's part of life for the rest of their lives and it's an important lesson that they need to learn early on. In our house, it's a given. You make the mess, you clean it up. End of story. There is no asking or suggesting. I tell them it is time to clean up and they do because it is their responsibility. They may not like it and that's ok. But, they are not going to treat me like the maid. They are not going to be allowed to create messes and then walk away with the assumption that it will magically get cleaned up for them. Depending upon the mess, I may need to help but generally speaking, they know where their belongings go and they are able to clean up after themselves.

And the food on the walls thing? Uh, no way. I can't imagine my children at 4 smearing food on the walls. At 2? maybe. But, at 4, no way that would be tolerated in our house and they would be cleaning it up (with my help as needed).

[MommytoB]

they are put in the 'same type of tubs as they are at grandma' so I don't get it just put toys into 'tubs' simple as that but he 'follows the 'get one toy rule' after your done playing with it you have to put that one 'back before you get any other toy' but when I do the 'same phrase 'he don't care' & will get as many as he will like'


Also, the food on the 'walls' I give him a 'scrubber pad ' which is a miracle eraser & say come on lets 'work together ' but he 'barely 'even gives it even any effort just lightly pats it and I go brendan like this & he 'walks away saying his 'arm is getting tired ' I go will you make mess on the 'walls again he goes 'no' of course he does it again' this boy is a 'strong boy & can open up a heavy door' so how do i get him to 'stay put to 'clean the messes on the 'walls' ? I will help because there is alot but how do i get him to 'help out for the most part.