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How do I make a hospital birth as close as possible to a home birth?

post #1 of 62
5/25/08 at 10:47pm
Thread Starter 
Hi I am 30 wks pg and I have been reading alot about hb and I really want a home birth but I my husband is not for it.Does anyone know how I can make my hospital room like a "home birth"?.

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post #2 of 62
5/25/08 at 10:54pm
The #1 suggestion I would make would be to hire a doula. She will take on the role of providing non-medical support and comfort that your midwife would in a hb. I had a doula for dd1 (in a birth center) b/c I was not sure which mw I would end up with and I wanted that ONE person who I knew and connected with to be there for DH and I. She was amazing. Aside from that, bring your own clothes, music, birth ball, whatever makes you comfortable and relaxes you. But my hubby brought the wrong suitcase and I had none of my own 'stuff', my experience was all about how I was supported and empowered during my labor and birth.

That said, what are your dh's reservations? Has he seen The Business of Being Born? My DH was very supportive of hb before seeing it, but now he has turned into a virtual hb advocate. You still have time, perhaps you could do some research together, maybe his attitude will change.
post #3 of 62
5/25/08 at 10:59pm
Stay home as long as possible. That way, there's less risk of interventions. It's OK to show up at the hospital in transition. Really. labor at home as much as you can. Don't get in the car and run to the ER as soon as you feel a contraction.
post #4 of 62
5/25/08 at 11:00pm
Thread Starter 

He's really scared about hb...

we have a doula and she has talked about it with "us" she and I have already talked about b4 my dh meet her. he seen the movie but he still feel scared and would reather have the baby in a hosp. I'm really sad about it because I really want my 2 yr old son to be apart of this as well and honestly I can breath better when i think about having a hb.
post #5 of 62
5/25/08 at 11:05pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by _betsy_ View Post
Stay home as long as possible. That way, there's less risk of interventions. It's OK to show up at the hospital in transition. Really. labor at home as much as you can. Don't get in the car and run to the ER as soon as you feel a contraction.
YES!

In regards to the rest - is there any kind of compromise position here? Is there a homestyle birthing center you could use?
post #6 of 62
5/25/08 at 11:10pm
Thread Starter 

I live in Los angeles,Ca

I have not found ONE birthing center around here. Isn't that crazy? my doula told me about a hospital that have midwives there but I can't get in contact with the mws there to make sure that the med will cover it.
post #7 of 62
5/25/08 at 11:14pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by shunee View Post
we have a doula and she has talked about it with "us" she and I have already talked about b4 my dh meet her. he seen the movie but he still feel scared and would reather have the baby in a hosp. I'm really sad about it because I really want my 2 yr old son to be apart of this as well and honestly I can breath better when i think about having a hb.
...it sounds like he is scared to birth at home and frankly you sound a little scared and sad to birth in a hospital. I'm sure you've already explained this to him, but does he realize that the safety outcomes are similar for hospital/home births in healthy women? I'm glad you have a doula. I would get her suggestions for making the birth 'homelike' since she is probably familiar w/ the particular hosp you are birthing in. I know you will find a way to make it the birth you want and deserve.
post #8 of 62
5/25/08 at 11:46pm
There is a birthing center in Hollywood -

420 S Grand Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90071
(323) 436-7425
post #9 of 62
5/25/08 at 11:49pm
Thread Starter 

It like find out you can go to Disneyland but decided to take you to chucky cheese

yeah I am sad.after watching "the business of being born" it turned me total around.truthfully I am "scared" a little myself about the what ifs, however when I go on youtube it just looks soo right.I can see myself having birth at home. but we have no money for a midwife but my doula said she would talk to someone for me that was a midwife.I just can't understand why something soo natural is so frowned apon.like today I can just see imagine it, it's nice and my family are around me . I have a room that I can birth in and the thought of it makes me soooo happy. However the what ifs scares the h*ll of the us too ( more soo him then me.) sometimes i hate that i hadn't seen the movie because then I wouldn't know about it, then I would felt so torn.
post #10 of 62
5/25/08 at 11:59pm
"Stay home as long as possible. That way, there's less risk of interventions. It's OK to show up at the hospital in transition. Really. labor at home as much as you can. Don't get in the car and run to the ER as soon as you feel a contraction."

That is exactly what I would advise also. In my case, I was going for a vbac (successful) and waited until I was in transition and pushing. Even then, they still tried to bug me about epidural/c/s ;she was a young, new dr and I told her to go to *&**). I asked my ob what I could do to avoid the garbage that went on and her best advice to me was to make sure to be VERY PROACTIVE with the drs/nurses. It wasnt pleasant having the dr bugging me about epidurals and c/s, but when I yelled "I am not having an epidural because I am not having a c/s just because it is convenient for you and you are too bloody impatient!"; the young dr left the room in a huff and left me alone. So if you can tell your husband to act like a buffer/go-between so you can do your job that would be great. Be verbal with them, firm, swear if you have to. Maybe they will be fine with you. Remember I was a vbac My ob has also written strict instructions that they are not to offer epidurals etc at all and I am planning to ask to have a heplock instead of iv. Also, try to educate yourself about the types of interventions they might use on you. I didnt want any interventions except emergency so I learned their regular procedures and alternate ones that are not as invasive. For example, the young dr freaked because they couldnt find the babys hb with the external monitor (read....emergency c/s!) so I told her "look, my water is already broken so you can do the internal scalp monitor to double check"...she didnt like that very much and sure enough baby was fine. As I said, maybe it will be different in your case. Good luck
post #11 of 62
5/26/08 at 12:02am
Darn it, i forgot to add that I was in labor a total of 5 1/2 hours of which 3 were spent at the hospital....because of their impatience they wanted to do c/s which my ob (who was not on call that night) admitted would have been for no reason (read impatience again). Thankfully, my doula (seriously, i would advise you to get one) was there and over heard dr/nurse discussing c/s and she warned me....3 major pushes and baby was out!!!!!
post #12 of 62
5/26/08 at 12:10am
This is something I just don't understand. Why does his vote automatically veto your wishes? It doesn't sound like a compromise at all. Why does he get more say than you who is carrying the child and will be doing the hard work of laboring and birth? It makes no sense to me at all. I totally understand sitting down and really talking it out and getting to a place that is comfortable for both of you but his voice trumping yours just confuses me.
post #13 of 62
5/26/08 at 1:03am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shelsi View Post
This is something I just don't understand. Why does his vote automatically veto your wishes? It doesn't sound like a compromise at all. Why does he get more say than you who is carrying the child and will be doing the hard work of laboring and birth? It makes no sense to me at all. I totally understand sitting down and really talking it out and getting to a place that is comfortable for both of you but his voice trumping yours just confuses me.
I think maybe you are making an assumption about their relationship here. If my dh was uncomfortable/scared about a hb it would weigh very heavily in my decision. I respect that it is his child too & do feel that the birth is very much about him as well. In fact in a lot of ways I am worried about his experience of the birth as much as my own as I feel in the long term it could effect our relationship. I don't believe it is a case of automatically trumping one person over another.
post #14 of 62
5/26/08 at 1:20am
:

If my husband were really, really against something going on involving the birth of our child I'd likely change it.

As for how to make your hospital birth more like a hb, I suggest bringing a birth plan along. Make sure your doula has copies to hand out. A big thing for me when I was pushing was NO TALKING. : So you may want to have a no talking during contractions or pushing. That really bothered me a lot.

Hmm...

I agree with laboring at home as long as possible. Also, could you bring some comfy items with you? I had my plush pink robe that I wore while I sat in a rocking chair and laboured for a few hours. I had my pillow that I hugged to me during several hours. It helped a lot.

I hope things work out and you and your dh are both happy with whatever type of birth you choose to have.
post #15 of 62
5/26/08 at 1:57am
Hope this Mothering article and responses afterward are helpful:

http://www.mothering.com/articles/pr...-hospital.html
post #16 of 62
5/26/08 at 2:23am
Make up your mind to go natural and have ways to deal with the pain. L&D nurses are quick to help a woman in pain.

Also summed up by 'wait as long as you can to go to the hospital.'
post #17 of 62
5/26/08 at 3:03am
I second the doula.

Also, make sure you only have people there who support your decision for a natural birth.

Good luck

-Caitrin
post #18 of 62
5/26/08 at 3:06am
Quote:
Originally Posted by _betsy_ View Post
Stay home as long as possible. That way, there's less risk of interventions. It's OK to show up at the hospital in transition. Really. labor at home as much as you can. Don't get in the car and run to the ER as soon as you feel a contraction.


Biggest mistake of my labor: Going to the hospital too soon. It was downhill after that...

-Caitrin
post #19 of 62
5/26/08 at 9:33am
You don't-sorry. You need to do some research and educate yourself and your DH. Low risk, healthy women having normal pregnanices DO NOT belong in the hospital. Even the World Health Organization says that most births belong OUTSIDE of a hospital. It is worth your time and effort to do this, trust me.
post #20 of 62
5/26/08 at 9:33am
We're in pretty much the same boat as the OP. I want a HB but am 43 so dh doesn't feel comfortable with it. I keep hoping perhaps it'll just happen at home because we'll have waited too long to get to the hospital
That said, we've both seen the BOBB and he is really on board with NCB and waiting at home as long as possible. We did hire a doula and she is great. One piece of advice from her was to make sure a copy of the birth plan was in our chart and I also plan to send one with our hospital pre-reg, as well as taking several copies to the hospital when we go in.
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Mothering › Mothering Discussion Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › Birth and Beyond › How do I make a hospital birth as close as possible to a home birth?