Okay, this might not come across correctly, because its kind of hard to explain. Just a bit of back story, my DS is 3yo, intact, and has special needs. My nephew is almost 10mo, intact, and neuro-typical.
First of all, the whole time I was pregnant with my DS, and for months after he was born, no one in my family ever questioned why he wasn't circ'd. It wasn't until DS was 15 months old that my mother finally said something and when I told her that we never planned on having him circ'd, she said "oh, noooo, but you have to". But I calmly explained why we weren't going to, and gave her some facts about the importance of the foreskin, and that was pretty much the end of it. And it never seemed to "bother" anyone in my extended family afterwards.
During my sister's pregnancy, and especially during her hospital stay after the baby was born, our mother (and sister's BF) begged, pleaded, and bribed her to have it done. They acted like it a was a total freaking tragedy and said he would be emotionally scarred for life (oh, the irony). And they ruined her pregnancy and what should have been the best day of her life in the process.
So, strike one.
I go to my old OB recently due to personal health problems and the topic of my sister comes up (the nurse there kind of knew about the situation between my sister and her BF because my sister was going to go to them but she didn't wind up moving here until after baby was born). So the nurse asks me, "so what ever happened between them?". I said "well, her BF bribed her and threatened her to try to get her to have him circ'd but-" and she cut me off with "well, YEAH".
I said "circumcision is completely unnecessary, and my sister knows better because she's spent a lot of time around Bram and he isn't circ'd either." And she says "yeah, but its different with Bram because he was....sick". (FYI, he was never sick, she was basically using sick as a "euphemism " for retarded/deformed.)
I get the same thing from friends as well. Most of them know that DS isn't circ'd and they don't really think anything of it, because, ya know, "retarded" kids don't grow up and find a mate and have sex anyway, so what does it matter if his penis is gross?
: But when I bring up the horrible things my sister's BF did to her over their baby being left intact they're all "well, she should have had that baby circ'd".
WTF?
How am I supposed to spread awareness if every person I try to educated basically says "well, ya, your kid didn't need to be circ'd anyway, but mine is perfect so mine does".:
ETA for clarification:
I am offended that anyone would suggest that my son shouldn't be circ'd (their idea of perfect) because he doesn't belong in "their" world anyway, AND that anyone would suggest that my nephew needs to be circ'd in order to fit into said world.
I know I'm not making much sense...
First of all, the whole time I was pregnant with my DS, and for months after he was born, no one in my family ever questioned why he wasn't circ'd. It wasn't until DS was 15 months old that my mother finally said something and when I told her that we never planned on having him circ'd, she said "oh, noooo, but you have to". But I calmly explained why we weren't going to, and gave her some facts about the importance of the foreskin, and that was pretty much the end of it. And it never seemed to "bother" anyone in my extended family afterwards.
During my sister's pregnancy, and especially during her hospital stay after the baby was born, our mother (and sister's BF) begged, pleaded, and bribed her to have it done. They acted like it a was a total freaking tragedy and said he would be emotionally scarred for life (oh, the irony). And they ruined her pregnancy and what should have been the best day of her life in the process.
So, strike one.
I go to my old OB recently due to personal health problems and the topic of my sister comes up (the nurse there kind of knew about the situation between my sister and her BF because my sister was going to go to them but she didn't wind up moving here until after baby was born). So the nurse asks me, "so what ever happened between them?". I said "well, her BF bribed her and threatened her to try to get her to have him circ'd but-" and she cut me off with "well, YEAH".
I said "circumcision is completely unnecessary, and my sister knows better because she's spent a lot of time around Bram and he isn't circ'd either." And she says "yeah, but its different with Bram because he was....sick". (FYI, he was never sick, she was basically using sick as a "euphemism " for retarded/deformed.)I get the same thing from friends as well. Most of them know that DS isn't circ'd and they don't really think anything of it, because, ya know, "retarded" kids don't grow up and find a mate and have sex anyway, so what does it matter if his penis is gross?
: But when I bring up the horrible things my sister's BF did to her over their baby being left intact they're all "well, she should have had that baby circ'd".WTF?
How am I supposed to spread awareness if every person I try to educated basically says "well, ya, your kid didn't need to be circ'd anyway, but mine is perfect so mine does".
:ETA for clarification:
I am offended that anyone would suggest that my son shouldn't be circ'd (their idea of perfect) because he doesn't belong in "their" world anyway, AND that anyone would suggest that my nephew needs to be circ'd in order to fit into said world.
I know I'm not making much sense...
:
, it just makes me sick the way people will treat special needs kids, and the way they talk to their parents. I wish I could say your story was unbelievable, but I know by now that there are plenty of people out there who can say the utterly stupidest and cruelest things without even blinking an eye.
But even if he doesn't have the mental capacity to be in a relationship, who cares?! That's not the end of his life and certaintly doesn't make him less of a person.
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