XH cut DS's hair against my wishes

[minkajane]

I am beyond furious! XH took DS to visit his family a couple hours away for two nights. He came back today with all his beautiful blonde curls cut off. I was intending to grow DS's hair out until HE wanted it cut. After all - it's HIS hair! XH insists that he came back from the store and DS had short hair. I called his grandmother and she refused to tell me who cut it, but maintained that she had done nothing wrong. "You've got a little BOY there!" So what? He was a beautiful little boy with beautiful hair. His hair was much shorter than DF's and even shorter than XH's has been in the past.

XH is NOT the custodial parent. He has no right to make ANY decisions about DS. He's been talking lately about getting DS on his healthcare, even though we have Medicaid for DS. Now I'm paranoid that he's going to get him vaxed or circumcised, even though both are prohibited in our divorce agreement.

What makes things worse is that XH started arguing with DF when he told him to leave and shoved him. We ended up having to call the cops. We're going to get a restraining order keeping him away from our home and we might press charges.

[the_lissa]

That is awful. I would be furious if someone cut my son's hair.

[momof4peppers]

About 2 years ago someone else was dealing with this, and there were a lot of good suggestions offered. You might do a search to see if you come up with anything.

I'm sorry your little boy got his hair cut against your wishes. That sucks.

[minkajane]

DS is really upset about it too. He didn't want his hair cut. I'm sure it was exciting to get it cut at the time, but he's sad about his hair being gone now. He keeps feeling his hair and getting all excited and saying "It's growing!" Then he gets sad again when we tell him it's going to be a while before it's long again.

[mama41]

Wow. I'd go over and rip her a new one, myself. And let her know that if she wants a peaceful time with you and ds, she'll respect the fact that you're the boy's mother, not her. It's not her business to decide just how testosterone-bustin' the boy should look.

One thing I'm grateful for is how respectful of my parenting my xh's parents are. Dd's bangs hang down in her face, and I'd like to cut them, but dd insists she wants them long. So OK. I'm sure it aggravates her grandparents, too, but they leave her alone.

[willowsmama]

I understand you are upset. But the hair will grow back.

If your XH has health insurance your son should be on it. The medicaid could be a secondary insurance. I'm surprised your XH wasn't court ordered to provide medical and dental insurance.

Have you considered counseling for better co parenting and communication? Your son is still quite young and there will be many, many situations like this.

[wemoon]

My X pierced my DD's ears while he had her. She was 6 and he pierced them HIMSELF with some idiot buddy 'piercer' friend. There was ginormous hoop earrings and one was pierced crooked. I.Freaked.Out. I took the earrings out after two nights because DD said they just hurt so bad.

This last year, for her birthday, I got her a gift card to go get her ears pierced and she chose WHEN and what earrings... and was old enough and capable enough to take care of them herself.

I feel your pain... but be thankful that something like ear piercing didn't happen. It is just frightening and upsetting to not know what is going on over at the other parents house.

[BusyBeeMom]

Originally Posted by willowsmama

I understand you are upset. But the hair will grow back.

If your XH has health insurance your son should be on it. The medicaid could be a secondary insurance. I'm surprised your XH wasn't court ordered to provide medical and dental insurance.

Have you considered counseling for better co parenting and communication? Your son is still quite young and there will be many, many situations like this.

I have to agree with the insurance part.

But, sorry about the haircut! My au pair (at the time) let her FRIEND give my DS his first hair cut. I was STEAMED.

How old is DS? I wouldn't emphasize with DS that it will be a while before it grows back. Just tell him it will. Sorry!

[urchin_grey]

OMG I would be LIVID!

If my xMIL did that, she would be VERY sorry she ever did it because she wouldn't see my DS for a VERY long time.

[guestmama9916]

Same thing happened here shortly after we seperated. DS had long hair and refused to have it cut. He was terrified of having it cut so I didn't push the issue and I rather liked his long locks. Then one weekend he came back to me with it all cut off. I said it looked good and didn't make fuss because I didn't want to give XH the satisfaction of knowing he had upset me. Fortunately DS wasn't upset by it either. Have you considered that maybe your DS liked his new haircut until he saw how upset you were about it? I would really make sure your DS doesn't think he looks bad or you think it looks bad. That could be more hurtful than anything about this experience for your DS. I'm sorry you have an xh that doesn't respect boundaries. Mine doesn't either. I have the same worries as you regarding vaccines.