I also don't really notice a change vaginally (it's the boobs that moved for me
But I did notice that sex overall got better for me after the baby was born. My orgasms are easier and stronger, I talked to a friend of mine who has had 3 kids and she said the same thing. I don't know if its from a new degree of trust between me and my sweetie or if it has to do with physical changes but I'm not complaining, that's for sure!
I have had brief instances of leaking a little pee but what I find happens more often is I have more noticeable cm, I guess maybe the vaginal opening is more open now so when I'm on my fertile days it can get pretty humid down there (I know, I know TMI) so there have been occasions when I thought "dangit! I peed" and when I checked it was actually a lot of creamy or eggwhite cm.
Things change after baby, some things you'll like a lot, some not so much, but usually it turns out ok. You can't stress about it in advance because, as others have pointed out there is a huge range of experiences and you won't know how it will be for you until afterward.
I also get very annoyed by the societal tendency to make nudging comments about how babies will "ruin" or "destroy" the vagina. Vaginas are designed for birthing, that is part of their job.
A vagina is not that different from an anus, except that it is stronger and more amazing. No one seems to worry that if they poop every day their rectum will get all loose and saggy. Having a baby is just as natural as pooping and the result is so much better
mama to maggie (3/1/06)