Traumatic tick removal - I feel so guilty!

[mariamaroo]

My 4yo dd had a tick behind her ear tonight. She is already being treated for Lyme disease, and is a tick MAGNET. I do full-body tick-checks every night…

Anyway, she had one tonight and would NOT let me remove it. She actually told me it was there, but then completely freaked when I tried to get it off her. We had a two and a half hour marathon of trying to get it off, trying everything I could think of, and her fighting so hard. I totally lost my temper more than once, and screamed my head off as she was sobbing. Awful, horrible scene and I feel so guilty. Because I'm a single mama I didn't have help.

There was also a lot of coaxing, bargaining, reasoning… and bribery, threats about going to the hospital. I tried to give her control over how and when I took it off but she couldn't let me do it. I tried distracting her, gave her a popsicle, used a timer…

I feel like an awful mother for losing my temper; I also feel like an awful, incompetent mother for not being able to get the tick out! I ended up calling my uncle to come over and help, and we ended up having to hold her down as she struggled and yelled.

I think she'll never trust me again (certainly not next time she has a tick – which will be soon!), that I've damaged her by losing my composure, yelling, swearing, etc.

I don't know what I'm posting for, really, just that I can't go to sleep all riled up like I am and needed to tell my story, maybe.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I am sorry you had such a ruff time

My mom found a way to remove ticks without pulling them and it also will make ticks let go that have burried up in the skin. You take Campho Phinic (spelling that wrong I know) it is in a green bottle and most pharmacies sell it. I think wal mart does to. You put it on a q tip and rub around and on the tick in circles up and down etc and it will let go. Usually within a very short time. That eleminates the pain of pulling and there is no risk of stuff being pushed back into the person by squeezing like fingers or even tweezers can cause.

I love it for getting them off the kids.

Here is a link http://campho.com/ and it is spelled camph phenique.

[richella]

Sounds like an awful night. I just read Screamfree Parenting by Runkel, maybe that would be helpful?

Dd is like that with splinters, she gets them pretty regularly. Haven't found a really good solution yet. Maybe talking about it sometime when she doesn't have a tick, when everyone's calm.

Sorry you have to go through this alone.

[zjandosmom]

I am sorry you had to go through such a rough evening but you were trying to do a good thing! Sometimes you just have to do it..YKWIM? You couldn't very well leave the tick there. I too hate it when things escalate with one of my kids but sometimes things are not up for discussion and health related things are one. I would apologize for losing my temper but not for removing the tick!
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Not well-said but you get my point...only on my 1st cup of coffee!

[SimonMom]

Have you tried something like this? tick remover

[mariamaroo]

Thanks everybody. I know I had to get the tick off, and I explained it to her repeatedly throughout the ordeal, but I am hating myself for how I behaved myself along the way.

I did apologize to her a bunch of times, even in the midst of it, and I hope that somehow helps mitigate the damage I'm sure I did to her psyche and our relationship. I did do the best I could at the time, but I feel it's ridiculous that my best wasn't at least a little better!

[twilight girl]

So sorry you had to go through that!! I remember 2 years ago DD got her first splinter. She was hysterical if DH or I tried to remove it. Yet, for some reason, her Uncle B, a goofy teenager-esque twenty-something kid, proved to be very calming to her and removed the splinter without hysteria. You just never know. Maybe next time you can recruit your uncle earlier in the scenario

And, thanks to other posters for the tick removal info. We're getting ready to head off on a cross country trip that will involve camping in deer tick areas, and I'm super paranoid about taking the children (DS is only 9 months). (Ironic isn't it? I live in the tropics and I'm afraid to visit the U.S. because of insect-borne diseaes!!)

[pumpkinmom2]

My son contracted rocky mountian spotted fever last summer. The CDC people told me the only safe method IS tweezers. Smothering them or making them defensive in anyway forceses them to basiclly spit in the illnesses they give us. Please be carefull we live in an area where there are only 3 to 4 cases of this a year, it takes 5 days or so for symptoms to show up. Please check on proper removal as not to make the tick MAD!

[lyttlewon]

When something like that happens to DD I usually tell her we can do it the hard way or the easy way. Easy way I pull it out and it might hurt a little. Hard way I hold her down etc. She almost always opts for the easy way.

My son contracted rocky mountian spotted fever last summer. The CDC people told me the only safe method IS tweezers. Smothering them or making them defensive in anyway forceses them to basiclly spit in the illnesses they give us. Please be carefull we live in an area where there are only 3 to 4 cases of this a year, it takes 5 days or so for symptoms to show up. Please check on proper removal as not to make the tick MAD!

Yup just pull them out or you will make it worse trying to put crap on them. If the head comes off the body will expell it on its own.

[amcal]

If it makes you feel any better, we had a similar scene with a splinter a couple days ago. My oldest FREAKED out about a splinter in her hand. It was in deep but the end was sticking out. It would have taken me mere seconds to get it out but instead, she screamed and screamed like I was amputating a leg without anesthesia. It made me so frustrated. I didn't handle it well. I ended up sending her to bed until she could get herself under control and let me remove the splinter. It wasn't a fun scene.

None of us are perfect mothers. We do our best but, we're going to screw up. We just apologize and try to do better next time. Thank heavens our little ones are so forgiving.

[margob73]

Sorry it was so horrible. We've had some traumatic tick removal sessions as well. This year I was recommended this tick twister...
http://www.ticktwister.com/
You can get them at pet smart for like $4. They're really great.

[LaLaLaLa]

I'll reiterate what others have said--if you put too much stress on a tick by burning it or painting stuff on it, it will regurgitate its stomach contents into its host and make the spread of Lyme disease more likely.

As for splinters, I've heard (but haven't had a chance to try yet) that if you paint Elmer's glue over a splinter and let it dry, then carefully peel it off, it will tug the splinter right out.

[babycarrier]

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[jadekat]

Originally Posted by SimonMom

Have you tried something like this? tick remover

That is really neat! I need one.
I feel your pain. DD had a tick on her back a few days ago. She was freaking out and screaming. DH got it out finally and used it as a little science lesson. He put the tick on a paper towel and talked to DD about it. It was really cute.
BTW I didn't know that smothering them wasn't the best way. That's the way we used.

[Mary]

I'm so sorry you all had to go through that. Don't beat yourself up mama! We all have our moments of not handling things perfectly.

Having said that, I hate ticks!! We found one on my son this past Saturday and we all sort of freaked out. My husband has chronic lyme disease and has struggled with his health for over a decade. My son automatically thought this meant he had it. We managed to get it out and I spoke with our lyme doctor and they helped us all to relax. It was probably a dog tick- we live in Colorado where they aren't that common, but we had been to New Jersey just 2 weeks before. Oh how I hate ticks!!!

[moonlight mom]

My ds is a tick magnet too and we live in CT where lyme is very prevalent. I agree with all the others that the best way to remove a tick is with tweezers. This is really a 2 person job. My ds has had 4 ticks on him and everytime I called someone to help me. You really need one person holding the child and another removing the tick. It is way to difficult to do by yourself.

[moonlight mom]

Originally Posted by jadekat

That is really neat! I need one.
I feel your pain. DD had a tick on her back a few days ago. She was freaking out and screaming. DH got it out finally and used it as a little science lesson. He put the tick on a paper towel and talked to DD about it. It was really cute.
BTW I didn't know that smothering them wasn't the best way. That's the way we used.

I never met anyone that thought a tick was cute!!

[MotheringHeart]

Originally Posted by margob73

Sorry it was so horrible. We've had some traumatic tick removal sessions as well. This year I was recommended this tick twister...
http://www.ticktwister.com/
You can get them at pet smart for like $4. They're really great.

Get this GET THIS!!! It is completely pain free, takes about 30 seconds to do and works like a CHARM. My kids are all tick magnets as well and last year DS got one on his member. I didn't have the tick twister and ended up pinching him w/the tweezers trying to get it out. But now I have that thing and it works like a charm.

Sorry it was such a traumatic experience. That's no good at all. For either of you.

[mariamaroo]

Ok, I'm ordering that tick twister thing.

I did the 'hard way/easy way' thing with her that night. It works well when she needs to take medicine, but she was too far gone to be able to control her reaction to the tick, so it didn't work.

I will definitely get help earlier next time. Moonlight mom, thank you so much for saying it's a 2 person job –*I have been feeling so rotten for not being able to do it on my own.

I tried last night to talk with her about what we're going to do when she gets another tick, but it didn't really go well. She said she wanted me to distract her, but we couldn't come up with any specifics about how, and honestly, it's not gonna work –*she was completely undistractable the other night, and I don't think that's going to change soon.

[delphine]

I am so glad I read this discussion earlier today. My DH just called me and told me that DS#2 (4 years old) had a tick on his neck. He took care of it with tweezers and then cleaned the area with rubbing alcohol. It sounds like he did just the right thing.