we have to be at the hospital at 5 and I'm scheduled for 7:30. Early!!! That's ok though, the anxiety is kicking in and that's less time for me to dwell on it.
I'm certainly not happy about having another c-section, but I'm coming to terms with it. With Holden and my complete Previa I knew a section was necessary, this time I'm not convinced and that makes it harder to accept. I'll get through it though, I have to. There's so much more to worry about that I don't need that negativity to deal with as well.
I've been trying hard to hold onto my Zen today and up until 9:00 this morning I was doing pretty well.
My best friend called and just hearing her voice made me lose it. We've known each other since 5th grade and besides my DH she's the one person I know I can say anything too. I think just knowing that made me want to cry. Then we went to the Chiropractor, they have a poster up about our blood drive and have gotten a big response about it. There are 3 of her patients, who I have NEVER met, that can't donate blood but asked what they could do for us instead. I was blown away when the receptionist told me this. I didn't know what to say. It's incredible to me that people we've never met want to help us in anyway they can. I know there are kind and generous people out there but when that kindness is directed toward you it's a bit overwhelming. It's incredible.
So it's been a day of on and off tears for me. I think it's a good thing to get some emotion out. I've had a couple of 'panicy' times in the last few months, but haven't really cried about anything. I think today it's hitting me. It's not just the tumor, it's everything and it's so much. I'm really worried about my other 2 boys and how I can still be a good mommy to them while I'm with the baby. Holden is going to have a hard time, with his special needs (though they are mild, but still greatly impact his life) he's not your typical child and he can't adapt to change. It's just something that he cannot do easily, and I think this is what worries me most. My 5 year old has been crying all afternoon because he knows I'm going to be gone for a few days.
I know they are going to be in good hands (thank goodness for my mom!!) but it's still hard that I can't be here.
I've had many people tell me that I'm lucky I know my baby will be in the NICU ahead of time. Well, I don't think it's good either way. Having a baby taken from you without knowing has to be incredibly hard but knowing for months that he's going to be whisked away as soon as he's born hasn't been easy either.
Anyway...before I babble some more...we will update here when we can. I've also started a blog for our family and friends. There isn't much there yet because I haven't had time for it, but I'll post updates there. Sprout's Story
Please send us prayers, good thoughts, love and light, however it is you choose to send positive thoughts for our little boy. Not only is he going to have a rough entry into this world, but it's not going to be easy for him once he's here. Our hope is that he's born healthy and we'll go from there.
I wish all of you that are still waiting for your little ones all the best, and even if you don't 'see' me here for a couple of days, please know that I'll be thinking about you and wishing the best for you.
You ladies have been wonderful and I've truly enjoyed sharing my pregnancy with you. Thank you also so much for all of your support, I don't know any of you IRL either and you've helped me tremendously. It means so much to me.
I'm certainly not happy about having another c-section, but I'm coming to terms with it. With Holden and my complete Previa I knew a section was necessary, this time I'm not convinced and that makes it harder to accept. I'll get through it though, I have to. There's so much more to worry about that I don't need that negativity to deal with as well.
I've been trying hard to hold onto my Zen today and up until 9:00 this morning I was doing pretty well.
My best friend called and just hearing her voice made me lose it. We've known each other since 5th grade and besides my DH she's the one person I know I can say anything too. I think just knowing that made me want to cry. Then we went to the Chiropractor, they have a poster up about our blood drive and have gotten a big response about it. There are 3 of her patients, who I have NEVER met, that can't donate blood but asked what they could do for us instead. I was blown away when the receptionist told me this. I didn't know what to say. It's incredible to me that people we've never met want to help us in anyway they can. I know there are kind and generous people out there but when that kindness is directed toward you it's a bit overwhelming. It's incredible.So it's been a day of on and off tears for me. I think it's a good thing to get some emotion out. I've had a couple of 'panicy' times in the last few months, but haven't really cried about anything. I think today it's hitting me. It's not just the tumor, it's everything and it's so much. I'm really worried about my other 2 boys and how I can still be a good mommy to them while I'm with the baby. Holden is going to have a hard time, with his special needs (though they are mild, but still greatly impact his life) he's not your typical child and he can't adapt to change. It's just something that he cannot do easily, and I think this is what worries me most. My 5 year old has been crying all afternoon because he knows I'm going to be gone for a few days.
I know they are going to be in good hands (thank goodness for my mom!!) but it's still hard that I can't be here.I've had many people tell me that I'm lucky I know my baby will be in the NICU ahead of time. Well, I don't think it's good either way. Having a baby taken from you without knowing has to be incredibly hard but knowing for months that he's going to be whisked away as soon as he's born hasn't been easy either.
Anyway...before I babble some more...we will update here when we can. I've also started a blog for our family and friends. There isn't much there yet because I haven't had time for it, but I'll post updates there. Sprout's Story
Please send us prayers, good thoughts, love and light, however it is you choose to send positive thoughts for our little boy. Not only is he going to have a rough entry into this world, but it's not going to be easy for him once he's here. Our hope is that he's born healthy and we'll go from there.
I wish all of you that are still waiting for your little ones all the best, and even if you don't 'see' me here for a couple of days, please know that I'll be thinking about you and wishing the best for you.
You ladies have been wonderful and I've truly enjoyed sharing my pregnancy with you. Thank you also so much for all of your support, I don't know any of you IRL either and you've helped me tremendously. It means so much to me.
) for an update 
: to you and baby Sprout.
: 
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