I've changed my mind...

[Sour-Jane]

I don't want to have this baby, I want to just stay pregnant forever. She's safe in there, and happy. Ken is going to talk to the doctor he day after she is born to book his appointment for a vasectomy. I am never going to feel this way again.

Am I crazy that I love pregnancy so much that I don't want it to end?
At 38.5 weeks, I am just starting now to feel a little uncomfortable. This pregnancy has been a total dream, no morning sickness, just 7 days that I felt kind of yucky, like a very minor hangover, not really pukey, just tired.

Only 12 more days until my due date. I know due dates don't really mean anything, but it feels like time just keeps speeding up, and soon she'll be here. Then what? How am I supposed to protect her once she's here? I have absolutely nothing ready for her arrival, I keep procrastinating because I'm in denial, she can't come until I have everything ready right?

This anxiety can't be good... It's taken me 45 minutes to type this post because I was crying so hard I couldn't see or breathe...

[Ruthla]

The baby will come when she's ready, no matter how much "stuff" you have or don't have in your house!

All a newborn really needs is a lactating breast and something to get wrapped up in (a pile of clean towels, for example) and something to use as a diaper (either actual disposable or cloth diapers, or the above mentioned clean towels, just more of them.) A carseat is a good idea if you're planning a birth outside of your home and/or you think you might want to take the baby to a dr or anyplace else in a private vehicle.

I'd recomend delaying the vasectomy for at least a year or two- you really don't know how you're going to feel about more kids once she's arrived and you've settled into parenthood.

[*Karen*]

I'm doing some of this too. Mostly because I know what it is like with a newborn, and though I'm not getting much sleep now, I'm going to get wayyyy less once its born. I'm not terribly uncomfortable and would rather it just stay put as long as its thriving!

[BirthFree]

Well today has been the most painful, uncomfortable, crapper of a day so far and I had some bad ones with m/s to start so that's saying something...

I know I won't get sleep when this person is outside, and I know life will be insane and that's the only reason I'm not absolutely 100% beside myself with wanting to be done... but I'm pretty close.

I'm UNcomfortable to the max (of this pg)... it's only going to get more interesting and I'm only 36.5w.

Don't worry, you'll be able to be a GREAT mama and keep your sweet one safe... it seems scary now but you can do it!

[MamaHen2J&J]

I wish I enjoyed pregnancy... I get a tad jealous when mama's like yourselves say you love it... I wish I did, I've tried... its just not pleasant for me.

But at the same time...this is my last... I don't like thinknig that I'll never have a teeny baby again... Waaaa...

Eh, maybe I'll be so busy with three I wont get babyitis... Yea RIGT! I'm just going to stick to my plan and get a puppy in a few years!

[klink2]

Do you have to hurry with the vasectomy? This is your first child? Couldn't you just give parenting a try for awhile before committing to that? At the very least give your hormones a chance to even out for a couple of months. This is my last pregnancy and I am a little emotional about the end approaching, but I know that parenting is a hundred times better than pregnancy. Really.

[MamaHen2J&J]

Kristin, I second the thought...

We're 99% sure we're do but we wont do anything permanent for at least six months...

[mamatosaskia]

I don't know why I don't feel the way that you do with this pregnancy! I LOVED being pregnant with dd and was really sad after I had her. This time around, I just want to meet this baby and start to learn about him. What is he like? Will he look like a clone of me (like dd does) or will he take after my handsome dh? Will he be funny like dd or more serious...the list goes on and on. I think that must be why I don't mourn the loss of this pregnancy as much as I did with dd. I am actually looking forward to getting my body back and running, etc.

But, I get it with your first, I really do. It is magical, oh so magical to feel so womanly, so empowered to be growing a life.

I triple the suggestion to wait to have the vasectomy, but only you and your dh know what is the right family size for you. We are also going that route, but I made dh promise to wait until squirt is at at least 6 months old before we go there.

Good luck!

Jacqueline

[Sour-Jane]

Thank you so much Mamas for your kind replies, I'm feeling a little bit better now, still a little sad that it's almost over, and worried about the baby, especially knowing that I'll constantly be under a microscope because I have a physical disability. I think that bugs me more than anything that people think that because of only having one hand I'll be a bad parent who wont be able to do things "properly" (I was 4 when I cloth diapered my baby brother, and that was with flats and pins and he never received any stabs.)

As for the vasectomy, before I got pregnant Ken and I agreed to only have 1. He was dead set against having children at all when we first got together, so the fact that he changed his mind and wanted a baby with me is a miracle in itself. After thinking it through, I've decided that I will be happy with one, most of my reasons are selfish, I've been dying for more tattoo work and I already have to wait until the baby is done nursing before I can get any new modifications, and since I'm going to let her lead the way as far as weening goes, who knows how long it'll be.

Even though my journey through pregnancy is almost over, I'm looking forward to the start of my new journey as a mother, and being a mom is something I can have forever.

[Halfasianmomma]

Sour-Jane...I'm in the same boat as you with regards to the big V. When I met DH, he told me he didn't want any more kids (he has a son he can't see that lives in the states, and he has DSS). His reasoning was that he hadn't gotten a chance to enjoy his 20s, because he had kids so early...so he didn't want to be raising a teenager while in his 50s or 60s. After a while, he changed his mind and asked me to have a baby with him, but then *I* wasn't ready. Now that we're about to have our child, he's thinking about getting the vasectomy right away, and it kinda makes me sad. I don't know if I want to do this again, but not even having the option depresses me!

[3cuties]

I feel the same way. I always do -- I have never wanted the end to come! LOL.